


365 Fresh

by leehwi



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band), Triple H (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Barber Shop!Hyuna, Blowjobs, Drug Addict!Hyojong, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Eventual Smut, F/M, Lots of Partying and Recklessness, M/M, Multi, Murder, Playboy!Hwitaek, Self-Harm, Substance Abuse, Suicide Attempt, TW:, Violence, based on 365 Fresh, will update tags as I think of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-10-26 23:44:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10797246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leehwi/pseuds/leehwi
Summary: We all have different young souls and livesFrom the start,We’ve played together- - - - -Friends lie, friends deceive and friends cheat, can you really trust them? If you killed someone, would your friends help you dispose of the body? Would they hide you? Well, they say the would, but there's really only one way to find out...In which Hyuna has an...unseemly run in with a customer at her shop and calls the first people she ever thinks about.- - - - -F.R.E.S & H so freshF.R.E.S & H ’til deathF.R.E.S & H what’s leftF.R.E.S & H





	1. Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers, here's the first chapter of my main project, it is (obviously) inspired by the music video for 365 Fresh by Triple H. PLEASE go watch it if you haven't, but we aware of my trigger warnings that I've placed in the tags. Although if you've clicked on this fic despite those tags...then you should be fine :)  
> Anyways, I've tweaked the story a bit for theatrical purposes, so I hope you don't hate me too much for this. This is mostly based on my own interpretation of the music video and if you have a different theory for it, then just don't take mine too seriously.
> 
> I will be updating on Tuesdays, once a week for the remainder of this fic.

_ Drip. _ Blood. The color a rich deep red and oozing from the break in his skin, it was mesmerizing as it slid down the shape of his wrist to let another drop fall onto the soft beige duvet cover. His head was tilted back to stare at the ceiling, his wrist raised above and to the side of his head, so he could watch it fall. He wasn’t cutting as a means to an end, not this time, he just wanted to see it. The blood, the blade pressing into his skin until it broke under pressure. He liked it, watching things break.

His eyes blinked momentarily, a dizzy haze overcoming him as he went to sit up, his body being dragged back down onto the duvet, he was more comfortable down here anyways. With his eyes closed, his other senses heightened, he could better hear the neighborhood dogs barking and the sounds of bicycles in the street. But that’s not what he was looking for. He was waiting for the footsteps, the light click of heels, the soft fall of slip on loafers. He was used to those sounds.

Those sounds always brought warmth and hands that would pull him to his feet, those sounds brought whispers of comfort and a quick press of lips to the shell of his ear. Those sounds brought bruised lips that belong to  _ him _ . And the scent of smoke and shaving cream that belonged to  _ her. _ He needed those sounds and everything that they brought.

He was met with silence.

A groan passed his lips as he rolled over to lay on his stomach, extending his arm in front of him, the blood still dripping onto the cover, staining it with spots of crimson that would turn brown. They would be hard to wash out too. That made him laugh, a giggle crawling past his lips, he watched the shadow of it run across the duvet to stop at his wrist, a gleaming eye looking back at him as it bent to lap at his blood with a forked tongue.

_ Drop. _ He smirked and lifted his wrist, pulling it out of the reach of the shadow, his eyes spinning around the room as he looked for something to wrap his wrist with. If they did come, they would be mad at him. The last time they’d been angry with him, he’d stayed in his room for what felt like years. Just long enough for the sun to go down a dozen times, he’d counted.

He liked to count, he would count the spots before his eyes, he could count the scars and bruises in the crook of his elbow and he would count the drops of blood on his duvet. Counting kept him grounded, it was easier to count so he wouldn’t lose track, he couldn’t lose track again. Bad things happened when he lost track. He wouldn’t see them if he lost track.

He needed to count, he needed to know how many times he stuck a needle in his arm, he needed to know how many pills he had in his palm before he tipped them into his mouth, he needed to know how many seconds it’d been since he started pressing the blade into his skin. He couldn’t go too far, not again. They wouldn’t forgive him if he went too far, bitter words and pained glances resurfaced in his mirror, staring back at him as a reminder of what had happened last time.

_ You can have your fun. You can play, but don’t fuck up. _

He needed this.

His hands scrambled for the discarded blade on his nightstand, he needed this, he hadn’t gone too far, it was all fine. There was no harm in doing another.

 

/ /

 

“What’s that sound?”

“Just my ice machine.”

_ Snip. _ Her hands worked with precision, her eyes trained on the locks of hair that she cut, watching the hairs break apart as they fell, scattering across the floor. She smirked and cut another lock, watching it fall with bright eyes. It was her second favorite thing to watch in the whole world, he fingers carding through the head of hair in front of her.

Her customer seemed to grow slightly impatient and stiffened as she pulled gently at the hair, her scissors lifting to cut another lock. She trimmed and trimmed until it was to a desired length, where she stopped, pulling her hand away and tugging the free hairs with it, watching them fall and shatter on the floor again. The stray hairs making a little pattern on the floor, that she poked at with her foot, molding it into the shape of a cloud.

She stepped back and replaced her tool with another, a shearing razor. She hacked at the straight cut hair, adding layers as it scratched along the lengths of hair, shredding it into a natural cut. Her mind wandered while she dragged her blade through the mane. Her thoughts falling with the tresses and sliding across the floor, slipping through the crack in the door, tumbling down the street and stopping to rest at some grand hotel.

Inside the hotel, she knew he resided, only temporarily of course, but he was there no doubt. She liked thinking about them every now and then, the one in the hotel and the one in the dirty apartment on the other side of the neighborhood. Thinking about them made her smile and feel slightly less alone. It was a good feeling.

When all the straight trimmed locks had been sheared, giving it the natural loose look that most people paid for, she stepped away from the chair to grab a broom. She swept the hairs to the underside of her table, where she would handle them later. Her customer rose out of the chair, a stocky woman who most likely only had money that she took from her children, and paid her the required price.

As the customer left, she cleaned up all the loose hairs and went to her back room. The gentle music of her wind chimes met her ears as she pulled the tie from her hair, letting her own tresses fall in ribbons of red around her shoulders. The velvet touch of her mane was soft against her cheek and she let out a steady breath.

The table in the center of the room was covered in stacks of thin paper, 6.8 cm by 14.8 cm, she had measured them perfectly and had secured them with a band of rubber. There were few things she enjoyed as much as this, the smell of the freshly printed paper, the grinding whir of the machine as it produced note after note, the thrill of pocketing said notes.

As the machine produced one final note and the stack was complete, she grabbed another band and strapped it around the paper notes, turning to grab one of the duffel bags that she kept on hand. It was of average size and pink, making it just inconspicuous enough. After all, no one kept fake money in pink bags.

 

/ /

 

A pounding had started in the front of his head about an hour ago, however he was far too distracted by an ass against his crotch and a mouth at his ear. There was no way he would be able to let his headache stop him now. Said ass belonged to a particularly cute but skinny Japanese boy and the mouth to a pretty blonde girl with thick thighs. The three had met at the bar and wandered onto the dance floor together, himself somehow getting stuck in the middle. Not that he was complaining.

The music was deafening and his sense of self was disappearing as the ass grinded back against him and the mouth whispered sinful things that made his skin tingle. His head was truly spinning and he was starting to lose his balance, but being pinned between two equally drunk bodies made it easier for him to stay upright.

One hand was clutching the boys hip and another was holding onto a bottle that he’d taken with him, he wasn’t sure what it was anymore. He took another drink from it, moving it to the girl’s lips as she took a swig. He went to pass it to the boy, but was met with disinterest, so he took another drink. The liquid burning as it slid down his throat, whatever it was it tasted like shit, so he took another drink. Soon enough he wouldn’t be able to taste it and that’s what he was looking for.

They danced until one of them tripped, making the trio tip over, giggles escaping all of them. It wasn’t more than a few seconds, before the blonde girl was leading them both to the seating area, reclining onto one of the couches. The boys were on her in seconds, mouths lapping at her neck, each of them taking a thigh in hand, massaging the plush flesh of her leg.

He was starting to lose himself in his head and it took a soft moan from the girl to bring him back to reality, his vision was clouding and his imagination was begging to take over. He blinked his approval and he slipped into a delusion of sorts, continuing his administration's, tightening his grip of the girl’s thigh.

Her blonde hair was starting to look decidedly more red and as he mouthed and bit at her neck, the scent of her skin got lost on him and he ached for it to smell like smoke and shaving cream, the heady scent that washed over him and made his skin tingle. His hand slipped from her leg to press firmly into the cushion of the sofa below her, his palm splayed out, the tips of his fingers brushing against the underside of her thighs.

With more determination, egged on by his own imagination, he moved to kiss at her collarbone. He was momentarily shocked at the feeling of a warm hand sliding over his own, his eyes darting to look at the boy, who was now gripping his hand, his eyes meeting his under the curve of the girl’s chin. His heart was pounding in his throat as the boy’s dark hair and features seemed to melt away to be replaced by sharp angles and blonde messy locks.

Fear mixed with his arousal and almost overpowered him, but when the hand on his own slipped away, moving over the soft thigh of the girl to grip onto his thigh, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge in his fantasy. He wanted this, more than anything. It was okay to let himself play for a bit.

The hand on his thigh was starting to dig into his skin, the slender digits were forming an iron grip and he loved the pain that erupted under his skin. He loved the heat that started at his thigh and spread to his groin before exploding across his stomach and chest. A growl clawed it’s way up his throat and fell from his lips as he rubbed his nose along the underside of the girl’s jaw, feeling her breath grow heavier.

Song after song played as he got distracted by his new partners, all thoughts of going home early - or alone - had long since left him and a burning desire spread under his skin. He needed them, and in his drunken haze, these two strangers were no different from the best friends that he so desperately craved.

 

/ /

 

_ 2:56 _

The clock blinked at Hyojong, his eyes fogging over with sleep as he looked on, his back was aching and begging him to lay back down, but he dragged his body upright. His legs were a little wobbly, but he managed to rise all the way. His head was pounding and he sniffed indignantly, his eyes falling on the small bag that was on his dresser across the room, he clenched his eyes shut and forced the thoughts away. Not yet, he promised himself, his bandaged wrist burning.

He barely managed to tug his jacket and sandals without falling over, before stumbling out the door, the spring rain that was pouring down on him made him scowl as he trudged through the puddles. He thought about calling a cab, but when you had no money cabs generally didn’t want you; it wasn’t a long walk anyways.

There was a soft ringing in his ears and he flinched as a dog barked at him while he passed, it was a small personality trait of his that he didn’t like to admit, but he was terrified of dogs. They made him uneasy. He dragged his toe through a puddle, the water soaking his feet as his sandals provided zero protection. Well, they were better than nothing.

He came to a stop outside of an old shop, it looked closed more often than not, but anyone who lived in the area knew that it wasn’t and knew that there was a very pretty woman inside who would give a free shave or haircut to the homeless and overcharge those who could handle it. Just the thought of seeing her made him feel giddy and he pushed open the grimy door, feeling the way it creaked and heaved under the weight of his hand.

Upon entering the shop, his eyes drifted up to the clock on the wall, it read 3:14pm, he wouldn’t be able to stay here long, he’d have to get back to his apartment within a few hours. The beaded curtain that separated the back room and the front was pushed back and the redheaded woman with the sharp alert eyes entered. Her gaze caught Hyojong and a grin broke across her features.

“Hyojonggie,” Hyuna purred, moving to embrace her friend. The younger relaxed at her touch, his head moving to bury itself in her hair, taking a deep breath. There was something about her scent that was dizzying, it was intoxicating in the dangerous sense, the kind of scent that was impossible to pull away from.

And he didn’t pull away, until she released him and clasped her hands around the knobs of his shoulders, pushing him back to look up at him. Her eyes were little crescents and she looked happy as she surveyed him, his blonde hair split down the middle of his forehead, framing his face and making his bloodshot eyes hard to ignore. She noticed the red around his eyes and the bandage around his wrist and felt a pang in her heart. He’d been using...

As she led him to her backroom, she grabbed a water bottle from the counter and handed it to him, an encouraging expression set into her features as she waved it in front of him. He slowly took it and drank some, doubt apparent on his face. He knew that she didn’t approve of his addiction and she would make him stop if she could. But for now she had to settle on greeting him with water and a smiling face.

“It’s been awhile,” she commented, her hands coming to rest at her waist as she sat down, sliding her palms over her thighs, before they moved to gently grip the seat of her chair. She leaned forwards as Hyojong sat across from her.

His eyes, despite their rough appearance, were quick and she knew it, they glazed over her and moved to study the machinery that he’d helped her operate so many times. A frown started to grow beneath his skin and she could tell he was about to open his mouth to speak, so she cut him off.

“Why haven’t you come to see me? Been busy?” she watched his gaze, relieved when it returned to her, however his eyes were narrowed now.

Hyojong might have been high more often than not, but he was sharp as a tack and he could tell when she was trying to throw him off. They were friends, it was his job to tell these kinds of things, but it was also his job not to press her when she made it so clear that she wanted to avoid the subject of her shadier side business. “Not busy. Just high,” he admitted.

_ Nothing if not honest, _ she considered to herself, a smirk appearing on her coral colored lips. Her hands released the edge of the chair, moving back to her thighs, where her fingers played with the trim of her skirt. It was something she did when she was nervous or thinking, Hyojong found it cute.

“Have you seen-”

“No.”

She nodded. “Oh,” her head lowered slightly, her teeth digging into her lip. She was always concerned about them, they never contacted her and their visits were becoming less and less and as the oldest of the three of them, her stomach was always in knots with worry.

Before she could ask another question - not as if she had really prepared one, there were few subjects that she could choose to discuss that Hyojong would carry, conversations with him didn’t last long as he lost interest quickly - the sound of her door opening and closing grabbed her attention and she stood up.

Hyojong craned his neck to look, trying to see who it was. Hyuna walking to the entrance of her backroom and peered around the corner, before disappearing to inform the customer that she wasn’t doing business today. While she talked to the customer, who was apparently upset about not being able to have their haircut, Hyojong saw something that did catch his interest. There was a small window on one wall, the sill held a few plants that weren’t going to last much longer without water, which he was sure Hyuna had forgotten, but the window itself gave a good view of the back alley.

He knew that his noona could get paranoid and liked to see if there was anyone coming, hence the little hidden peepholes in the backroom wall, so if she was sitting at her desk in the corner, she could look through to see the customers before facing them. The window provided a perfect view and as Hyojong approached it, he looked out to see that an old silver car was parked outside, there was no way that that belonged to anyone Hyuna knew.

With caution, Hyojong moved from the window, so the driver couldn’t see him. He was starting to feel panic rise in him, this was why he told her not to print the money, this was why he told her not to make any deals. He looked around frantically, the only weapon in sight was an umbrella, which was better than nothing, but annoying as he was in a hair cutters shop and was hoping for at least a razor or a hot iron. He approached the back door, listening to the sounds of the car door opening and closing, the driver was coming to the back door. No one was supposed to know that this door even led to the shop, it didn’t even look like it opened from the outside, as there was rust and some vines that grew up the wall and door. 

The sound of a hand clasping the handle made Hyojong react, he moved to a position where it wouldn’t be difficult to hit the incomer in the throat with the handle of the umbrella, immobilizing him momentarily, long enough for Hyojong to grab Hyuna and run. As the door opened, Hyojong pulled back and was prepared to swing forwards, however the driver walked through the door and he froze.

Dressed in a black silk button down and white dress pants, shoes that were no doubt paid for by some rich old woman and a smirk that could only belong to one person, Lee Hwitaek came into view. He was swinging a set of keys and as he looked to see Hyojong holding an umbrella, he simply chuckled. “Thought I was here to rob the place?” he mused.

The way he walked told Hyojong that he was proud of himself, as it was likely that he stole the car outside, but his gait changed as he looked back at Hyojong’s face. His expression shifted as well and he frowned at his friend, whose red eyes and mouth hanging open told him everything he needed to know.

“You’ve been using?” he scowled.

There was a pang deep inside of Hyojong’s chest, the tone of Hwitaek’s voice hurt him, the disappointment and bitter tones that underlay his words. He lowered the umbrella and dropped it, his gaze following it to the floor. Hwitaek seemed to be getting cozy on the couch as Hyuna came through the beaded curtain and her face broke into a grin.

“Speak of the devil,” she chimed, going to hug him.

Hyojong sat down in the chair he’d been resting in before, his fingers tugging at the ripped holes in his jeans, the frayed edges were distracting and he began counting the loose threads.  _ One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine- _

“Hyojong?” Hyuna’s voice pushed past his thoughts and tugged his attention away from his jeans. He looked up at her, an eyebrow slowly raising and he noticed that both of them were looking at him.

“He wasn’t listening again,” Hwitaek sighed, pulling his mobile phone out of his pocket and getting distracted by something on the screen. 

The older of the three gave Hyojong a soft expression and she reached over to card her long nails through his hair, scraping at his scalp and earning a soft sigh from him. “Are you okay?” she asked, sweetly.

He nodded in response, her hand now moving in circles and making him close his eyes and move into her touch. Neither of them noticed the burning look in Hwitaek’s eyes, his sudden movement to stand up making both of them look over.

“Well, I’m going, if you aren’t,” he announced, going to grab the abandoned keys from the table.

Hyuna agreed silently and looked to Hyojong. “You want to go grab something to eat?” she asked.

The youngest was about to shake his head, his mind going to his apartment, to the drawer of his dresser where his bag of needles was. He wanted to say no, he needed to say yes, his body craved the needle breaking his skin and filling him with that euphoria that only came from that. But his mind told him it had been too long since they’d gone anywhere together, it’d been too long since they were even all three in the same place, let alone in good moods.

“He’s coming,” Hwitaek broke his thoughts, the car keys in his hand while he waited by the back door. Hyuna went to lock up and Hyojong got up to stand by Hwitaek, being in close proximity gave him a better opportunity to study his friend.

For the most part, he was the same, but there were tiny differences. The rain outside had wet his shirt a bit and Hyojong swallowed at the small parts of his chest where it clung, his eyes traced along the collar, the top few buttons were undone and he allowed himself to appreciate his friend’s chest. His eyes caught something and he froze for the second time in the past few minutes, feeling his stomach plummet at the sight.

Hwitaek noticed him staring and cleared his throat. “I’ll go start the car,” he said, going out the door into the rain once more. Hyuna came back, her own set of keys in hand, she saw Hyojong’s expression and approached carefully.

“Are you okay, baby?” she asked, her hand moving up to cup his cheek. The younger stared back at her, his eyes quivering in a way that made her frown.

“Did...did you notice his marks?” he asked, his breath shakier than he would have liked.

Realization spread across her face and she nodded, her lips pursing. “He must have had a good time,” her tone was bitter and she patted Hyojong’s cheek. “Let’s go.”

They grabbed Hyojong’s former weapon, the umbrella and went out into the rain, Hyojong opening the car door for Hyuna as she climbed in the passenger side. He moved to sit in the back, shaking his head a little to discard the drops of rain from his hair, pulling the umbrella in with him. Hwitaek was flipping through radio stations, but as they joined him in the car, his hand moved to the clutch and he switched it into drive and pulled out of the narrow alleyway. He really was a good driver.

As he drove, Hyuna rested her head against the window, her heart was just as conflicted as Hyojong’s and she felt more pain than she had expected at the sight of the dark red hickeys that had been left on Hwitaek’s chest by a pair of lips that were neither hers nor Hyojong’s. For some reason, she knew that if Hyojong had left the marks, she was certain she’d be more than okay with it, but knowing that it was a stranger made it hurt that much more.

She was unaware that Hyojong was in the same predicament, both of them jealous of whoever had been given the chance to claim Hwitaek’s body, to mark it and leave a mural of their passion like a map on his skin. Her stomach was in knots, a tugging at her heart made her glance in the rearview mirror, seeing the set jaw and anger that was carved into Hyojong’s features.

The look was one she hadn’t seen in awhile, she’d known Hyojong for long enough to know each of his faces, and this one was rare, there was anger and frustration hidden beneath his steely eyes. It made her chest hurt even more, knowing that Hwitaek had found pleasure in the arms of another and that someone had made Hyojong angry. She felt the pressure of being the oldest start to bear down on her and she cleared her throat softly.

Having successfully drawn the attention of both men in the car, this she could tell by the quirk of Hwitaek’s head and the way Hyojong’s eyes met hers in the rearview mirror, she licked her lips before asking. “So...what have you two been up to? I haven’t seen either of you for a few weeks now.”

Hyojong seemed to weigh his answer while Hwitaek responded almost immediately. “Just the usual,” he mused, his one hand resting on the wheel, his other tapping on his knee along to the tune of the music that leaked through his stereo. He seemed at perfect ease and it made Hyojong’s blood boil. He knew it was ridiculous, but he felt cheated on.

As Hyuna hummed thoughtfully before turning back to look at Hyojong, he could see a glint of himself in her eyes, he couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same as him. His heart yearned to not be alone in this. When she repeated her question, he blinked and answered honestly. “I got high and watched some tv,” he chose to leave out the cause of his wrist bandage.

He heard his friends small chuckles, sometimes they treated his addiction as if it was a cute little habit of his, but he knew that deep down they were displeased. For his sake, they pretended like it was okay, but he knew better, he knew them better. Every time he used, he knew he’d be letting them down and he hated himself for it, hence the cutting.

The car slowed as Hwitaek pulled into the parking lot of a small grocery store, Hyuna gave him an odd look. “I thought we were going to eat,” she began, earning a nod from him.

“We are,” he pulled the keys from the engine and pocketed them. “But I thought we’d get food and go to my place to eat,” he smirked, as if he was expecting a reaction, but Hyuna simply sighed and agreed and Hyojong being the youngest, had no say that would change anything.

The trio climbed out of the car and walked towards the grocery store, Hyojong dragging his feet behind them as he followed, his hands digging into the pockets of his jacket. The sky was still dumping sheets of rain on them and Hwitaek tried to cover Hyuna with his arms, but she swatted him away and ran, laughing.

Hwitaek ran after her, his cackling laugh echoing back and hitting Hyojong as he continued to trudge through the rain. His best friends had stopped and were looking back, watching his dazed stumble as he made his way across the parking lot, stopping in front of them. Their expressions had softened ever so slightly and as he stared at them, Hyuna reached out to grab his hand. “Come on,” she whispered, pulling him after them.

In the grocery store, they marched through the aisles, droplets of water falling in a carpet behind them and they found what Hwitaek was looking for, as he declared that he was cooking for them. Hyuna scowled and insisted that he was the driver and she was the cook. As they fought, Hyojong stared at the shelves in front of him, the jars of kimchi were so brightly colored red and he forgot the atmosphere while staring at it. They were more orange in color, but the sight of red made him develop a sudden craving.

His head was spinning with need and he realized he couldn’t go too long today, he just couldn’t handle that, he needed to get back to his apartment as soon as they were finished with food, he needed to go back. His hands were starting to buzz with excitement and he had to push them back into his pockets to keep them from shaking, he looked over to see his friends still fighting and bickering over which brand of rice they prefered.

While they were at the register, getting their groceries rung up, Hyuna’s eyes glanced over to Hyojong, checking on him every few minutes as she usually did. He often wandered and they’d lost him a couple times. He was excitable and would get distracted, his interest piquing at whatever it was that caught his eye and he would completely disappear.

Hwitaek was a different matter, he wanted to be in charge and whether that meant that he marched forwards and didn’t stop to make sure everyone was keeping up or it meant that he was in the back pushing them forwards, he didn’t seem to care much. As long as he was in control.

Hyuna herself was far different from either of her friends, she was a very mellow person and seemed to go with the flow, but as she was the oldest, she took care of them and had to pay careful attention to her surroundings. While Hwitaek may have had his own idea of what was going on, Hyojong knew that Hyuna was in control of most every situation they got involved in. She had a steely level of control that she’d never asked for, but she’d gotten it, just by being more headstrong and aware of things than them, it made her far better suited to leading the trio in their misadventures.

They had always managed to get in trouble, ever since they were kids, they always ended up getting too curious and doing something stupid. That is, Hyojong would get curious, Hyuna would get determined and Hwitaek would get lonely and scared of being left behind, so he followed. He had always followed them, right up until they realized that he was actually walking in front. That was what got them in the situation they were currently in, Hwitaek was peeling down the street going faster than any of them knew he should have, Hyuna was clutching the groceries and demanding he slow down and Hyojong was lying on the backseat, his head tipping back to look out the window.

Hwitaek pulled up to his apartment, which wasn’t nearly as grand as the hotel rooms that he rented, using the money of various women and men that had no intention of keeping him around for long. He swung the keys around his finger as he stepped out of the car, Hyuna getting out of her side, tossing the bag of groceries at the younger. “You say you’re the chef, you carry it,” she insisted.

They both stopped to wait for Hyojong, who was slowly sitting up and rubbing at his face, before getting out of the car, he stumbled a little as he walked after them. But they were patient and they waited, watching him make his way up the first few steps and follow them into the apartment. His feet were dragging as he walked and he seemed suddenly exhausted, but neither wanted to ask, as Hyojong’s body worked in strange ways. Sometimes he acted as if he had an unlimited amount of energy and other times he looked like death, barely had enough strength to walk up a flight of stairs.

They knew it wasn’t his fault, they knew that it all depended on how recently he’d used, his whole life had become wrapped around his addiction and he only made choices based on when the next time he’d be able to shoot up would be. They knew it and they wanted so badly to stop it, but they felt powerless, knowing how betrayed he would feel if they pulled him away from the most precious thing in his life. They knew that they couldn’t save him, it was up to him to save himself.

Hwitaek’s apartment wasn’t large, but the kitchen had space for him to work on the food that he insisted was going to be good, despite Hyuna’s doubt. While he began making it, Hyuna saw to it that Hyojong sat down and got some water. He took a few drinks before drifting to sleep on the couch, she smiled as she watched him sleep. Her hand reached out to stroke his forehead, when a bitter scoff came from the kitchen and she tugged her hand away.

She looked up at the other man, who was diligently cutting chicken, his jaw was locked in a defiant expression and she rose to her feet, walking to the doorway of the kitchen. “What’s the matter, Hwitaek?” she asked, her tone suggested that she was daring him to say it.

His eyes met hers and he shrugged, focusing once again on his chicken. He cut a few more chunks off, sliding them into his awaiting pan, before he finally spoke. “You baby him,” he sounded upset. “I know he’s the youngest, but he’s not a child anymore.”

Hyuna felt a frustration bubble inside of her, the hurt and jealousy that had resided earlier was resurfacing and starting to build up from the pit of her stomach. Why was he being like this? “Oh, so you’d rather I ignore him like you do?”

“I do not ignore him,” Hwitaek retaliated.

“Really? When was the last time you called him? Did you even notice the bandage on his wrist? Do you even care?” she hissed, taken aback by the response she elicited.

Hwitaek slammed the knife onto the counter, he leaned forwards, his eyes full of fire. “That’s not fair. Of course I care, you know I do,” his voice had lowered a pitch, but his outburst didn’t scare Hyuna, she was still full of venom.

“Then fucking act like it already,” she pushed past him walking towards the sink, Hwitaek turning with her to look at her, his anger was set into his features like paint poured into sidewalk cracks, so very vibrant. 

“What does that mean?”

“What do you think? You prance around and act as if you don’t know how he feels,” she was speaking in a low hushed tone, so as not to wake Hyojong, but her words were heavy. “You think he doesn’t hurt every time you fuck around with some woman? You think when you come back with damn hickeys covering your chest, that he doesn’t feel anything? You honestly think it doesn’t hurt us?”

Hwitaek blinked at her. “ _ Us _ ?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please don't forget to leave a review, as I love love love hearing everyone's thoughts.  
> As always you can find me on twitter @leehwitake if you have any questions or just want to yell at me, you can do so either here in the comments section, or there (my dms are open to any and everyone)  
> Have a great week and I'll see you next Tuesday ;)


	2. Dancing Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W O W I have never received a response on a fic like I have with this one, I am blown away. Everyone's been so kind and encouraging and I'm so touched by everyone's support, it means the actual world to me.  
> As promised, here's the second chapter. Things get a liiiittle rocky from here on out, so bear with me ;)

“Shut up, Hwitaek!” Hyuna shouted back as she grabbed her jacket off the chair. Hyojong’s eyes were bleary as he sat up and looked around, trying to focus, the words that were being exchanged between his two older friends was making his head spin.

“Noona, wait!” Hwitaek was pleading, all cares thrown out the window as he chased after her, still clutching his kitchen knife. Hyojong could read him, there was no malicious intentions of holding said knife, he’d simply forgotten he had it. His face told him everything he needed to know, well~ almost everything. “Please!”

Hyuna was already out the door by the time Hwitaek had gotten around the counter and as the door slammed behind her, his frustration built inside of him and he turned to kick the edge of the sofa. “Fuck!” he cried angrily. He had his hands braced on his waist, his chest heaving as he let out another frustrated groan. Everything about him, from his face to his posture, to his tone of voice told Hyojong that it was time to go.

The knife that was clutched in the older man’s hand was attracting Hyojong’s eye and he felt the dryness in his throat dredge up his familiar bloodlust, the eagerness that came with these episodes was becoming overwhelming and he traced his lip with his tongue, an aching need filling him. “I-I’m gonna go,” he said, a little breathless as his mind started to cloud, rising to his feet.

When his eyes met his friend’s, he saw the desperation that was hidden behind his pupils, he looked so broken and it hurt Hyojong more than anything, but he knew that there was no way he would have the self control to stay here. He stared at Hwitaek for several seconds, trying to hide the shakiness that was starting in his hands.

“What was all that about anyways?” he managed to get out, noticing how the question made the older grimace.

There was a long silence, the sounds of the streets below were ringing in the dimly lit apartment, their mixed breathing and the drops from the sink faucet was bringing back memories of hot summer days spent on his duvet, making Hyojong blink as a bead of sweat slipped down his forehead. A dull hum started up as Hwitaek’s furnace turned on, startling Hyojong enough for the older to notice.

“Do you...” Hwitaek drew a shaky breath in through his mouth, staring at the ground. Another second slipped by and Hyojong found himself staring at his friend, eager for him to finish his sentence.  _ Ask me, please. We both know I’ll say yes. _ “Do you ever wonder...if the three of us were to-” he stopped and lowered his face into his hands, his words escaping him.

Hyojong felt his chest tighten and he ran his fingers through his hair and scoffed, it was a sharp sound that made Hwitaek look up from his hands, clenching them into fists by his side. The were quite a sight, the older of the two looking positively broken and the younger with his shaking hands and his eyes that never held still, there was a divide being forced between them and they were unable to stop it.

“At least stay and eat,” Hwitaek interjected, his shoulders slumping as he took a step away from his friend, one hand on his waist and the other was loosely holding the handle of his kitchen knife.

The time it would take to wait for Hwitaek to finish making food, let alone how long it took to eat, Hyojong couldn’t possibly wait that long. He shook his head, giving a small smirk and grabbing his discarded jacket. He went to slip his sandals on, feeling his friend’s eyes on him, his hand buried in his pocket, the shaking difficult to hide.

When he turned to look at Hwitaek, he noticed that he was staring at his hand, his expression was full of pain and concern, his face was loose and his eyes fluttered shut for a second before he nodded. “Go, it’s okay. I know you need it,” he knew it was easier to allow him to go, it was easier than fighting with him. It was easier to convince himself that he was letting him do it because he loved him, because it was easier not to fight.

 

/ /

 

**6:21**

She gathered her hair, only the top layer, and a tied it into a bun, letting the under layer fall in loose tresses of thick red hair. She swiped a hand over her face and sniffled, she smoothed her dress out and took one last glance at herself in the mirror, before starting into her routine of opening her shop. It had been four days since she last saw Hyojong or Hwitaek and there was a dull ache in her chest to see their faces, even just to hear their laughter. She missed them.

Truthfully, she didn’t love her job, but she was good at it and it was good money. Not like that was an issue for her, considering the stacks upon stacks of bills she had in her back room. However seeing customers come in left a sickening feeling in her stomach as she saw each face, none of them belonging to either of her friends. None of them were one of the men that she so frustratingly loved.

A large man entered her shop and she directed him to her chair, after hearing what he wanted, she pulled out her shaving tools. Having grown up with her father as a barber, she learned the basics of a good shave and also how to survive in the business. When he passed away, she fixed up the old building to accommodate both of her businesses, using it to the best of her ability.

Her customer had a shifty eye and as she reclined his chair, she felt herself bristle a little, his strange air made her less than comfortable. She coated his face in the shaving cream and took her straight razor to his neck, gently scraping upwards, efficiently removing all of the scratchy stubble that covered his throat. Her hands were steady and she had a tremendous amount of focus as she shaved along his throat and moved to the ridge of his chin, the straight blade of her tool reminded her of a vacuum, gliding along the expanse of his skin and wiping it clear as if sweeping it up.

She went to grab a towel to wipe at his freshly shvaed neck, to clear off some of the cream, and as she turned back, she felt a cold hand brush under her dress, moving to grab onto her smooth thigh. In shock, she gasped and dropped her razor, feeling her hands lose most of their steadiness, a tremble forming. She rarely had issues like this, but now that it was presenting itself, she swallowed thickly. Her father taught her better than to stand for this treatment.

 

/ /

 

**6:13**

One drink down and god knows how many more to go, Hwitaek slammed back drink after drink, his mind beginning to blur as he knocked them back. His heart was conflicted, his thoughts filled with the painful memories of a few nights before, the image of Hyuna’s flushed face and her eyes burning with emotion as she ran out of his apartment. The shaking of Hyojong’s hand and the critical that was in his eyes, Hwitaek could feel how badly he needed to shoot up. It broke Hwitaek’s heart.

And as far as he was concerned, the only way to cure a broken heart was by pickling your liver, so he gulped down another drink, his tongue darting out to chase after the last drop. It burned as it trickled down his throat, his chest giving a stubborn pang at the feeling and he wondered if he should pace himself while drinking one of these days, but it wasn’t likely to happen anytime soon.

In just a matter of days, so much had changed, he hadn’t been in contact with his best friends, he spent hours feeling completely miserable and being wracked with guilt. He wasn’t accustomed to those feelings. He had spent most of the past few days walking, as the woman whose car he’d been driving had taken it back, finding that he wasn’t ‘fun’ anymore. His feet ached but he ignored it and just kept walking, he'd gotten lost a few times, but always found his way back to standing outside of the barber shop.

He ordered another glass and prepared to drink it when he felt a hand slide over his back and he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder to look at whoever was standing behind him. It was a young man, his dark hair was parted and he had an odd gleam in his eye. He was small and oddly cute, but his white button up and tight black vest that showed half of his chest was just attracting enough, that Hwitaek couldn’t reduce him to just cute.

There was a smirk on his lips and it brought out all of his handsome features, making Hwitaek’s interest peak, he wasn’t interested in learning more about him, but he wouldn’t mind letting him distract him for a few hours, if for no other reason than to forget about the past few days. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” the man was asking and Hwitaek was nodding before he could even think that it was a bad idea for him to drink more, he was too far gone to argue at this point and it didn’t take long before he and the man were laughing together, sipping down their drinks. The man was idling closer and closer by the second and when his hand slid over Hwitaek’s thigh, he eased into the touch.

He learned the man’s name but forgot it immediately, he liked the way the man laughed, his whole face lit up and his face was cute enough to be distracting, which was exactly what Hwitaek was wanting. However his phone buzzed as the man was kissing his neck and he whimpered in dismay, the idea of being pulled away was unappealing at the moment, but he glanced at the screen of his phone. The name made him freeze.

_ Hyuna-noona _

His stomach clenched and he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, her words returning to mind like a brick being thrown through a window, shattering his vision.  _ You honestly think it doesn’t hurt us? _ He pulled away, letting out a small sigh as he detached his neck from the man’s lips, looking at him with a shamed look. The man knew immediately that he was about to be rejected, he saw the name on the phone and nodded, understanding.

The man departed from him, grabbing his drink and walking away and Hwitaek reached out to clasp his cellphone. He lifted it to his ear and braced himself for the sound of her voice. “Hello?” he inquired after hearing nothing but the crackle of phone reception.

“ _ H-Hwitaek-ah _ ?” Her voice was shaky and timid and it made Hwitaek’s heart clench, he lowered his head, running a hand through his hair. His blue silk shirt fluttered, the smoke and movement of bodies in the bar had created a draft, making his collar move with the air.

“I’m here, noona,” he sighed.

“ _ I...I need your help. _ ”

Something about the tone of her voice making his heart shake in his chest. “What’s wrong?” he asked, she sounded terrified and it made him feel sick deep in the pit of his stomach.

“ _ I think he’s dead. _ ”

 

/ /

 

**6:18**

_ Thump thump, thump thump _

One heartbeat that was so ordinary sounding that it was dizzying, it made him rage on the inside, knowing that his own pulse was the definition of what bored him so often. It was disgusting almost, just the solitary pounding of his heart, so loud against the noises of traffic and various street sounds. He repelled them from his head, his pulse was too loud now, he couldn’t focus on anything else.

It was so incessantly bothersome, what a nuisance, a heartbeat. He wanted so desperately to make it stop, his ears weren’t ringing like they usually did, instead they were silent, filled with his pulse. The constant beat, so continual and it was driving him insane. There was just the one sound and it was monotonous and he just wanted it to stop.

His hands weren’t shaking anymore, he wasn’t afraid, just tired. He was just playing, like he usually did, he drew a face with crossed out eyes on his mirror, lining the red stripe up with the shape of his throat. How pretty it would look to draw a line there.

The cord of his phone wasn’t strong enough to do any damage, he knew that, he was just playing, that’s all, it was just a game. A little game he was playing with himself. That’s all it was... he wrapped the cord tight around his neck, closing his eyes, pulling on it sharply. The pressure felt good and he held it for a moment, savoring the sweet feeling.

It wasn’t enough.

He needed more, he needed his heartbeat to be more than this dull thud, he needed it pounding. He needed his ears to be ringing with the drum of his heart, he couldn’t take this perpetual ticking anymore. His eyes scanned his room, a laugh was starting in his throat and he knew that it was going to escape at some point, so he reached up to catch it as it came out.

Holding it in his palm, crushing it in a fist, he stumbled to his sink and shoved his hand under the water, turning on the faucet. He would drown it, mute it, he didn’t want to hear it ever again. When he was satisfied that it was truly gone, he pulled his hand out of the sink, dripping water. It was so boring to look at, water, he much preferred looking at it from beneath, from inside, than as a bystander.

Looking back around his room, he saw an old bag of VHS tapes, he hadn’t touched them in years, but he felt a little greedy seeing it. This would definitely give him enough of an adrenaline rush to get his heart to beat at least a little bit faster. His hands were clumsy as he grabbed the plastic bag and tipped it upside down, watching the tapes scatter across his table and fall onto the ground.

It fit perfectly around his head, it was even long enough for him to grab his roll of tape and wind it around his neck, securing the bag in place.  _ I’m just playing, it’s just a game. _

He took deep breaths, the plastic growing warm against his skin, perspiration grew on the clear bag, the small droplets clinging to it in front of his eyes. He focused on those tiny droplets, the way that they rolled down to gather at his neck as his breaths grew deeper and harder. It was getting difficult to draw them into his lungs and he had to struggle to suck the next breath through his teeth, the bag starting to cling to his head.

_ Thump thump, thump thump, thump thump _

His heartbeat was slamming against his ribcage, rattling him, filling him with a pleasure he couldn’t explain. He counted the heartbeats as they got quicker, his excitement at his plan having worked made him dizzy, or maybe it was the bag around his head. He wasn’t sure and he didn’t care much, but his sight was starting to blur and he saw stars. The pounding in his chest could be felt in his head too and he started to feel himself stumble, almost falling over.

_ You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, _

_ Only seventeen, dancing queen _

The solid clear sound broke through his haze, through the plastic of the bag secured around his head, it pushed into his sense filling his ears. It was his ringtone, and not just the ordinary default one, this one was special. It was set especially for Hyuna...

She was calling for him.

His fingers worked like claws to tear the bag, he clenched it and pulled until he felt it give way and ripped, air rushing into his lungs. He gasped in a breath and sat panting for a moment, taking deep breaths, leaning his hands onto his knees and trying to clear his head. He was still dizzy, but the pressuring reminder that Hyuna needed him drove him to extend his hand and capture his phone from the table.

“Noona?” he rasped, panting into the phone.

The only sound he heard was a soft sob, long and drawn out, followed by a gasping breath. If he thought his heart rate was pounding before, it was racing now, beating so hard he thought it was going to tear out of his chest and run down the street towards the barber shop.

“Noona!” he cried, fear starting to take over his actions. He was already sliding his sandals on, before he even noticed it, his hand was reaching for his jacket while he shouted for her again. He just needed to hear her voice, to know that she was okay.

“ _ I killed someone, Jjongie. _ ”

He hesitated, his head spun and he considered stopping, but he hung up the phone and raced out the door, letting it slam noisily behind him.

 

/ /

 

**6:36**

There was so much blood, an impossible amount, she couldn’t stop it from spreading. She used a towel to try to wipe it up, but it just smeared it everywhere. She was shaking, her body was uncontrollable now and she tugged her jacket off, trying to contain some of the blood. She needed it to stop pooling, but all she did was cover herself in it. 

Staring at her hands, she felt herself shaking and reached for her cellphone, maybe she should call the police, tell them what happened. It was self defense right? Her mobile clutched in one hand, her eyes trained on the pool of blood, she let out a long breath.

No. She couldn’t call the police, she had a money printing machine in her back room and there was no way in hell she would be able to walk away from this shop free if the police came to investigate. There was only one thing left to do, she needed to get out. She needed to go.

Rising to her feet, there was no time to quiver now, she moved to her back room and packed one of her bags full of whatever money she had most recently printed, it would be enough, it had to be enough. Her legs were wobbly as she tucked her phone into one of the pockets of the duffel bag and she pushed the back door open, stepping out onto the street. She couldn’t be seen, she was covered in blood. It was all over her legs and hands. There was so much blood...

 

/ /

 

**6:32**

Draping his arms over the two women, Hwitaek leaned in and purred whatever scuzzy line he could think of, not even listening to himself. The one woman shrugged him off and went to push him in the chest. As he stumbled backwards, his hands swiped the keys from the counter next to her friend. Neither of them noticed.

Making his way out of the bar was easy, it was finding which car that would be difficult. He was used to stealing cars, he’d done it multiple times before, that was what he did, he stole things. It was fun, he liked doing it. However, it led him to a lot of trouble. The rich men and women that he slept with and ‘borrowed’ things from, only to never return it, well there were quite a few of them and all of them were angry.

Just as he was about to push through the doors of the bar, he felt a hand catch his arm and yank him backwards, he stumbled and almost lost his footing. He regained his balance and turned to see who had caught him, it was a man dressed in some loose pants and a white tank top. He had a bandana tied around his head and started into a rant about staying away from his woman.

Hwitaek’s eyes found the two women at the counter, who were watching them. Well, at least they hadn’t noticed their car keys missing yet. He turned to look at the man, the gang that was lurking behind him did not go unnoticed and a surge of pride filled Hwitaek. He really just wanted to go help his own woman...not that she was his.

“Look, man, it’s a bar. If you’re not used to people hitting on your girl, maybe she needs someone a little smarter,” he scoffed, somewhere deep down he knew that aggravating them was a horrible idea. But he also felt a tiny thrill, this was what he lived off of, he loved the fact that he could piss people off with one look. But he was in a bit of a rush and didn’t have time for this.

“What the fuck did you just say to me? Smarter? You obviously ain’t got room to talk about smart if you’re saying shit like that to me,” the man reached out and poked Hwitaek in the chest. 

Now that was just rude and really damn annoying.

Hwitaek fixed his collar, his tongue splaying across his lip, giving him a genuinely cocky expression. He couldn’t help it though, that was how his face was. “I don’t have time for your shit,” he started, but the man wasn’t having any of it and got closer to Hwitaek.

“You’re gonna have to make time, so listen- you apologize to me and we can forget it ever happened. You feel me, asshole?”

“I haven’t felt anyone yet, your girl threw me off before we got there,” he quipped.  _ Ohhh, that was a bad idea _ . He thought.

The man’s face was livid and his goonies seemed to be closing in, Hwitaek honestly needed to go, he couldn’t stand around and argue with this meathead and his friends. He looked at them, there wasn’t many, but it would be easier to just escape as quickly as possible. A sharp laugh pulled itself from his mouth as he hesitated, before shoving the man in front of him and turning to run out the door.

He wasn’t the most athletic, but he was fit and he was quick. His shoes slammed against the pavement as he bolted down the alley, he shoved the car keys in his pocket as he ran, not wanting to risk dropping them after all the work he put into getting them. His lungs were burning as the last thing he drank was copious amounts of alcohol, his head was a little fuzzy, but the adrenaline was enough to keep him going.

The shouts and footsteps pounding after him told him that he was being pursued and he took the first left that presented itself, hoping that it wouldn’t lead him to a dead end. Being chased was new for him, but it would leave him with a great story to tell later. He could just picture Hyuna laughing and Hyojong sitting on the floor, both listening eagerly like little kids. God, they made his heart feel so full.

_ Shit.  _ Distracting himself with thoughts of his best friends was another bad idea - he was really on a role with these tonight - and he found himself face to face with a few members of the Meatheads gang, so he turned as quick as possible to take off down a different alleyway. The sun was still bright overhead and his black slacks and silk blue shirt was making him sweat like nobody’s business. He forgot how tiring running was, and he was quickly remembering why he didn’t do it often.

He saw a clear alleyway, hope filling him, maybe if he could find a good hiding place then they would give up and he could sneak back around to the parking garage. He dashed down the alley, almost around the corner when half of the gang appeared in front of him and he halted in his tracks, swallowing thickly. The other half was right on his tail and he realized there was no way out.

There was only one thing left to do. He had to stay and fight, however he just so happened to have two left fists, so it would most likely result in stay and get the shit beaten out of him. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip again, bringing back his arrogant expression, using whatever last bit of courage he had. He smirked and looked back and forth between the groups of men, before lifting his hand and crooking his fingers. He quirked an eyebrow and nodded at them.

“Let’s do this then,” he called out, fear was building in his throat as they closed in on him.

One man approached faster than the others and Hwitaek threw a weak punch, which was caught and his arm was twisted, forcing his torso forward. He let out a pained grunt and one of the other men came close to land a knee in his chest. Now that was what really hurt, he shouted in pain as they delivered another blow to his ribs, most likely breaking something.

The men descended upon him and he lost track of what belonged to who as blow after blow fell upon him, a fist connecting with the bridge of his nose, knocking him backwards. As his body betrayed him, he tripped and crashed onto his ass, his palms scraping against the asphalt of the alley. He hissed as he started to lift his hands to inspect, but he never got the chance as several kicks were sent to his hips and stomach, making him tip into a fetal position, moving to protect the most sensitive parts of his body.

At some point it stopped and he risked lifting his head, a fist gripped his shirt and dragged him into a sitting position. It was the head of whatever kind of sick gang this was. He had a grin on his face and with one final punch, splitting Hwitaek’s lip, the man wiped his hands off on his pants and he and his goonies left. 

Hwitaek sat against the wall of the alleyway building, his head was reeling from the alcohol and abuse and he thought after awhile that he was going to throw up. A gross feeling was bubbling up in his throat and he leaned forwards to retch onto the ground, before regaining enough strength to rise to his feet. He wouldn’t allow himself to sit in the dust for long.

Dusting off his slacks and button up, Hwitaek swiped a hand through his hair, assuring its form. He double checked his pockets, assuring that he still had the stolen keys, which he did. The car garage wasn’t far from where he was, so with a small shred of his dignity intact, several bruises and a split lip, he started on his way. With this, he returned to his former mission, helping Hyuna. 

 

/ /

 

**7:05**

Her feet pounded on the cement as she ran, her hair was in a frizzy mess behind her, she aimlessly swiped a hand at her head. She had hidden her bag in a pile of trash somewhere that she would remember, so that was secure, but for now she needed to get somewhere safe. She needed to get far away from that barber shop and the mess she’d left behind her. She couldn’t go to jail, not now, not when she still had to get to them.

After having called both of the boys, she knew that if they went to the barber shop, they would trust her, they would know her well enough not to call the police. She thought with a hopeful heart that they might even find her, wandering the streets so aimlessly and covered in blood. Better them find her than anyone else, even if it was incredibly unlikely.

As she navigated the streets, she found herself stumbling into the middle of the road, a small cream colored car screeched to a halt and she held her hands up in a defensive position. Unknowingly, she’d exposed her blood soaked palms, the dark drops leaking down her wrists. When she lowered her arms and turned to look at the car, she felt her heart clench and then explode in relief.

Hwitaek was sat in the driver’s seat, his hands clutching the wheel and a fiery expression on his face as he stared at her. The subtlest of nods told her to climb in and she stumbled towards the car, yanking open the passenger door, leaving a bloody print behind. Her hands were still shaking and she collapsed into the seat, her breathing was ragged and they sat in silence for a moment.

He didn’t look at her and he didn’t speak, he simply grabbed a rag from the center console and held it out to her, pressing his foot back onto the gas pedal and speeding off down the road. She accepted the towel and desperately scrubbed at her hands, attempting to remove the deep colored liquid that was now drying to her hands.

The fact that he wasn’t speaking didn’t go unnoticed and Hyuna pursed her lips, wondering if he would ever speak to her again after her little outburst. A sense of guilt had filled her after that night, not for Hwitaek’s sake, but for Hyojong’s. She had abandoned him after exposing his feelings so brutally to Hwitaek. Apart of her, that pretended like it didn’t know him better, wondered if Hwitaek had treated him unfairly because of it.

Images of him yelling at their youngest friend and kicking him out of his house made her stomach churn and she pursed her lips, jutted out her bottom lip and blew hard, watching the strand of hair over her eye as it fluttered up and out of her face. She couldn’t stand the idea of Hwitaek being like that to Hyojong, but then again, it was hard to even imagine him doing that. Sure he could pick on him sometimes, but he would never be intentionally hostile...would he?

“Did he deserve it?” Hwitaek’s voice breaking her thoughts, making her jump.

She turned to look at him, now without the car headlights in her eyes and with the streetlamps flashing over the smooth skin of his face, she noticed that his lip was split and the skin on the bridge of his nose was broken. Bruises were beginning to form on his chin and around the broken skin, his lips were swollen and her eyebrows creased.

“Hwitaek-ah,” she gasped softly, her hand reaching out to touch his jaw.

He turned his face away from her touch and hissed before she even got a chance to brush her knuckle over his skin. A pout was growing on her lips as he repeated his question, sterner this time. Despite the fear that was still filling her, she found it within herself to care about Hwitaek first, it was almost amusing to her.

“Yes,” she replied, pure confidence laced in her voice.

Her friend nodded, satisfied with this answer. He trusted her and she knew it, however he was still not looking at her and she felt pain at the idea of him being upset with her. Before she got a chance to ask about his battered face, he slammed on the breaks for the second time that night, making her squeak in surprise.

First, her gaze went to Hwitaek, his eyes dark and anger reading on his face. Next, she looked through the windshield, towards the front of the car. She didn’t see anyone at first, but then a head appeared and Hyojong climbed to his feet in front of the car. He looked like he was in quite a bit of pain, no doubt from coming into contact with the nose of Hwitaek’s - probably stolen - car.

Immediately pushing the door of the car open, Hyuna climbed out, mouth agape. He hit him, Hwitaek hit Hyojong with a fucking car. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she started to walk slowly towards their youngest friend, but before she even reached the front of the car, Hwitaek had jumped out of the driver’s seat and run to meet Hyojong in the street.

However his reaction was less than pleased as he approached him, while Hyojong’s face was wide eyed and unreadable, he still seemed surprised when Hwitaek’s fist met his face. Hyuna cried out and rushed to pull him away, as Hwitaek shoved their friend over, moving to sit on his chest and continuously hit him.

“Stop! Stop, please!” she begged, grabbing at Hwitaek’s sleeve.

The younger shoved her away and turned to connect his fist to Hyojong’s face yet again. His words were becoming clearer and they made Hyuna’s heart ache.

“Stupid - reckless - selfish-” he was listing as he punched their friend. “I can’t believe you would do something as selfish as that!” when Hyuna managed to hook onto his arm again and pull him off Hyojong, leaving him on his back on the asphalt, he looked furious. “You’re so fucking stupid!” he snarled.

Hyojong was lying on his back, he hadn’t even fought back when Hwitaek attacked him and his eyes were more than a little glazed over. His head tilted back slowly and a bitter laugh exploded from his mouth, his laughter was gritty and made Hyuna’s ears burn. He slowly propped himself up on his elbows to look at his two friends, who were staring at him with very different expressions, Hyuna’s one of concern and Hwitaek’s full of anger and fear.

The eldest of them reached out to cuff Hwitaek’s ear. “Why would you do that?” she huffed, moving to walk closer to Hyojong, who was already climbing to his feet. While the youngest spread his arms out like wings and walked further into the middle of the street, still laughing, she turned back on Hwitaek, expecting an answer.

He didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk to her and he pushed himself to his feet, wiping his scraped palms off on his slacks, they felt like they were on fire for the second time that night. He winced as the fabric of his pants brushed any gravel off of the burns he’d received from his previous fall.

She hated seeing them fight like this, knowing that nothing good could come from it, she watched Hwitaek walk towards Hyojong, who had stopped moving to throw his arms to his side and look back up at the sky. Hwitaek’s gait suggested that he was full of rage, but he stopped before he actually got to Hyojong, much to her relief.

“Don’t you ever do something like that again!” he shouted at his friend, who slowly tilted his head forwards to look at Hwitaek. “Jumping in front of a car like that, do you know what could have happened? I could have hit you! Is that what you wanted? You wanted your best friend to hit you with a fucking car?!” his voice cracked on his last sentence and he lifted a shaky hand to his mouth.

Hyojong stared blankly at Hwitaek, his gaze shifting to look at Hyuna, before moving back to the man in front of him. “Better you than anyone else, hyung,” he grinned, brushing past Hwitaek to walk to Hyuna. His expression was full of questions, as he took in her state of blood stained knees and arms, but as usual, he didn’t ask. That was one of his charms, he didn’t need answers, he didn’t ask for reasons, if he decided to help you, he helped you. That was how it worked with him.

The three of them walked back to the car, climbing inside, their hearts heavy. Hyojong wiped at his now bloodied lip and Hwitaek swiped his hands together, trying to clean off his palms again. Hyuna clasped her hands together, pressing them tightly together and she looked up at the designated driver.

“Where are we even going, Hwitaek-ah?” she whispered.  
  
They knew what she wasn’t saying. They didn’t have anywhere to go. It was them and a car and a hidden bag of money somewhere but that was it. None of them had family or any other friends that wanted them, it was entirely up to them to be able to survive without getting caught. After all, they were driving a stolen car and had a killer sitting in their passenger seat, all of them considered their predicament and seemed to come to no conclusions. So Hwitaek turned up the radio and sped off into the night - they knew they couldn't get far without some damn good music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you for reading my fic, I'm so blessed to have all of my readers and friends who put up with me haha  
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and please look forward to the next one, which will be up next Tuesday - the 16th ( *ˊᵕˋ)  
> I've...never really written anything like this, so any thoughts or comments are appreciated  
> you know where to find me if you need me, or just want to yell at me, which is cool too


	3. Keep the faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the response on this, I'm so glad you're all enjoying it :)  
> Did you all hear about Pentagon's comeback next week? There's so much happening soon, iKon's comeback, ACE's debut... I'm gonna have trouble keeping up with it haha  
> Anyways, this chapter is a little all over the place, but I hope you like it

**9:43**

The roads of Jeon-ju were a blur as the small cream colored car sped down the highways, the woman in the passenger seat was asleep, her wild lion’s mane of hair was spread out over the headrest of her seat. The man in the back seat was lying back, his eyes closed, but he was very much so awake, his occasional sighs suggesting that he was feeling conflicted about something. The driver was more alert than ever, something about his senses had left him paranoid yet protective, he was going to do whatever he could to protect the other two people in the car. He was sure of it.

Hyojong let out another long, pathetic sigh and Hwitaek looked into the rearview mirror, his voice soft when he spoke. “What is it, Jjongie?” he sounded slightly dejected, as if he’d fought with himself on whether or not he’d inquire as to the younger’s problem, but they both knew he had the smallest amount of patience for anything.

Another sigh was given in response, before Hyojong mumbled, “I wasn’t jumping in front,” his voice was so small that Hwitaek had to strain his ears to hear. His stomach was starting to twist into knots, the realization that he’d attacked his friend out of fear for no reason.

There were few times that Hwitaek had let fear take over his control like that, but this was one of them. He had been terrified at the idea of having run over his friend and the anger, at whatever cruel game Hyojong thought he was playing with his own life, had taken over him and he’d lashed out. In doing so, he’d hurt the one friend he had been so afraid of losing and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to forgive himself for that.

“I’m sorry,” he admitted, knowing that it wasn’t much, but it was a start.

Starts, as it turns out, were meaningless as Hyojong muttered a “Whatever’ in response, turning to stare out the window, his lips drawing into a small pout. Well, it was worth a shot and if Hyojong didn’t want to accept his apology, then so be it.

They had stopped to grab Hyuna’s bag of money that she’d buried under bags of trash in an alleyway, both of the boys praising her for her choice of hiding and they’d taken off, heading for the first exit out of Jeon-ju. They had been driving for nearly three hours now and while Hwitaek was starting to feel more relaxed, he was having a hard time getting drowsy, he knew that he’d be able to drive for awhile longer. As long as he needed to to get his friends to safety.

“Hey, let’s stop for clothes,” Hyojong reached out and tapped his arm, pointing at a small plaza of stores, a few of which were still open. He then gestured towards the sleeping Hyuna, her hands folded in her lap, her shorts came halfway down her thighs, the stains of blood spatter had turned brown against the white fabric of her clothing.

Hwitaek nodded and slowed to turn into the plaza area, he found a parking space and reached over to shake Hyuna awake. “We’re going to go in and get you some clothes, you need to stay here and keep the car locked, okay?” he explained, not giving her a chance to fully blink away the sleep yet.

She nodded all the same and the boys each gave her shoulder a squeeze as they climbed out of the car. She watched them walk across the parking lot, neither one of them looked at all relaxed. They were stiff as they walked, and Hwitaek kept glancing frantically around the plaza. She sighed, this might be harder than they thought.

The boys entered the first clothing store they could find, relieved to see few customers here. Hyojong motioned towards a section labeled women’s and Hwitaek followed him, not wanting to part with him in case they got lost. They immediately sought out clothing that reminded them of her, Hyojong finding a sequined skirt and Hwitaek a t-shirt with an odd pattern. They both agreed on their choices. 

As they tried to carefully make their way to the front, Hyojong nudged Hwitaek and pointed at a trench coat that was hung up. The older shrugged and watched his friend pull it off the mannequin, tucking it under his arm as they walked towards the register. There was only one employee in the entire store and Hyojong felt an uneasiness, suddenly aware of the concept of security cameras watching them.

Hwitaek was entirely at ease as he took the items from Hyojong and placed them on the counter, withdrawing some bills from his pocket, Hyuna’s self printed ones of course, but they would be long gone before this employee even noticed. They waited for the woman to give them the total, Hwitaek handing an appropriate amount over to her, giving a convincing act of hissing through his teeth, as if the cost was more than he was hoping for.

When you had a duffel bag full of hundreds of millions of won, however, you really found yourself more than willing to part with a few dozen thousand. It seemed like a meaningless price and the thrill of handing it over was ringing in Hyojong’s bones as he and Hwitaek parted from the counter with their falsely purchased items.

The fresh night air tasted so much sweeter as they walked back to the car, Hyojong giving his friend a cool glance, which was returned by a wink that made the younger’s cheeks flush. He hated that Hwitaek did this to him.

  


/ /

  


**10:19**

Keeping his eyes open for a motel of some sort was a lot harder than Hwitaek had expected, as he was having trouble keeping his eyes open at all. Hyojong had drifted to sleep and Hyuna was awake this time, fiddling with the radio stations, disatisfied by each one. It was oddly cute, the way she tapped the dial, waited just long enough to hear what kind of music it was, before wrinkling her nose and tapping it again.

Despite the cuteness, it was getting a bit annoying and Hwitaek released the wheel with one hand, reaching over to clasp her hand tightly in his, rubbing his thumb over the joint of her own. She froze and looked over to stare at him, he met her gaze briefly, his eyes returning to the road as he gave her a tight lipped smile, shaking his head. A silent,  _ please don’t _ .

Her hands fell to her knees, she dug her thumbs into the inside flesh of her knee, staring at the marks it left. She would dig her nails in, watch as the soft skin would fill the mark left behind and she would do it all over again. It was a little concerning, but as long as she wasn’t truly hurting herself and stayed distracted, that was all that mattered to Hwitaek.

If he was being completely honest with himself,  _ they _ were all that mattered to Hwitaek. He clutched the wheel a little tighter, feeling his chest restrict with pain, the thought of Hyuna being in such a position where she killed a man in self defense, the thought of Hyojong being in so much pain where he would cut himself regularly. He hated it, he hated the idea of them hurting, it was as if it hurt him just as much.

For completely selfish reasons alone, he wanted to never stop running, he wanted the three of them to stick by each other’s sides and keep driving for as long as their money would last. Ever since he was a child, delusions of running away together had seemed like an ultimate goal. 

He glanced at his dashboard and noticed how low their gas was, a curse leaving his lips as he began scanning the area for a gas station, they wouldn’t last a whole lot longer on what they had. They drove for nearly another mile before he saw a sign informing them to turn right on the next exit, where a rest stop was. He sped up a little and turned onto the exit when it presented itself, he glanced into the mirror, seeing the sleeping form of Hyojong, slumped in the back seat.

As the car slowed around a turn, Hyuna let out a little sigh of exhaustion, her head glancing off the back of her seat as she tried to stay awake. Hwitaek pulled up to one of the gas pumps, looking out the window at the rest stop building. There were signs for a bathroom and a main lobby with several booths for restaurants, the sign of restaurants was on the side of the building and he glanced at them. None of them were likely open at this time of night.

“I’ll fill up on gas, you see if Hyojong has to go the bathroom,” he stepped out of the car, closing it behind him. He set the gas pump into the car and let it start filling up, moving around to the back of the car. He looked to make sure that they were the only car here, which they were and he lifted the trunk, reaching into the duffel bag to withdraw two notes, before zipping it up tight and closing the trunk.

He returned to the side of the car as Hyuna was pulling Hyojong out of the backseat, saying that they would be right back. Hwitaek gave them a tiny salute in acknowledgement, tapping the bills against his palm as he waited for the gas tank to be full. His body ached and he was sleepy, he just wanted to find somewhere to rest for the night, not feeling too picky as to the quality of the living arrangements.

There was a giggle that carried back to him, as he watched his two friends stumble towards the bathrooms, an ugly jealousy filled him as he watched the way they leaned up against each other. His heart was pounding in his ears as scenarios filled his mind~ Hyuna and Hyojong traveling on without him, laughing as they left him at some rest stop when he went to go to the bathroom. They were capable of being happy without him, they probably were planning on dumping him somewhere anyways. He knew that they would be good together, in contrast, he was also sure that he would never be able to survive without them. They were his life savers.

But his life wouldn’t be worth much if they got caught, this he knew. He checked to make sure that they weren’t coming out yet and he slipped around to the back of the car, he started to unlatch the trunk, a tremor in his mind as he stopped. No, this was wrong. This wasn’t fair. He couldn’t do this to them. He pushed on the trunk, closing it tightly once again and went to pull the pump out of the gas chamber.

He glanced up and saw Hyojong and Hyuna were already making their way across the parking lot, back towards him. The sight of them made the jealousy sink to the bottom of his stomach, most likely making itself at home, planning to stay for a good long while. The pair stumbled to a stop in front of him, Hyojong running his hand through Hyuna’s hands and his eyes met Hwitaek’s, freezing for a second.

The anger that was behind his eyes was a little too apparent and Hwitaek quickly slipped back into the driver’s seat, his hands going to clutch at the steering wheel. He drummed his fingertips on the curve of the wheel, as his companions climbed back into the car, his eyes staring unfocused on the dashboard of the car. As soon as they were both in the car, he started up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, widening his eyes to try to keep himself awake as he drove.

The adrenaline rush had long since washed away and they were left with exhaustion from the events of the past 5 hours, Hyuna’s hands had stopped shaking and she drifted back to sleep, relieved to feel safe for just a moment. Hyojong’s mind had cleared a bit and he was left with a small tick of nerves, making him twitch and rub at his face every ten minutes. The bruises that purpled Hwitaek’s face had lessened to a dull throb and he just wanted to sleep.

But he had to keep going, the reminder of what probably awaited on the other side of the city made him press his foot farther onto the pedal, the velocity of the car increasing as they sped down the highway. He was still struggling with staying awake as his eyes fluttered shut for a second, he just wanted to close them for a bit, not long.

A guttural screech made his eyes fly open and he looked to see that the car was scraping up against the guardrails of the road, the metal on metal causing a grating sound that tore at his eardrums. He noticed that the other two in the car had also jolted awake at the sound and Hwitaek swerved to right the position of the car, pulling it back to the proper lane. His face was flushed as he felt their eyes on him.

“Let’s stop,” Hyuna said, reaching out to press her palm against his wrist. “You need to rest.”

He shook his head, fervent. He was fine. He could do this for them, he could be the one to protect them, all three of them. A hand clasped his shoulder tightly and Hyojong’s voice was at his ear, warm and low.

“Pull over, you need to sleep for a bit,” he urged.

“Look,” Hyuna was pointing.

A large green sign on the side of the highway was illuminated in their headlights, there was a silhouette of a bed and in bold white lettering read ‘MOTEL’. None of them had ever felt so relieved in their lives and Hwitaek let out a small sigh. “See?” his cockiness ever present. “I told you it was fine.”

He guided the small car into the parking lot and they all climbed out of the car. Hyojong moved around to the back to pull their duffel bag out of the trunk, his fingers carding through his hair, pushing the dirty looking strands off his forehead. Hyuna walked over and opened the bag, taking a stack of the bills and saying she’d be right back. She headed for the service desk, looking around as she approached it.

The boys stayed behind, leaning on the car, Hwitaek running his hands over his face, letting out a breath. The air was growing sticky with humidity, the cool night air doing nothing to protect them from the dampness that clung to their every breath. There was a howling of wind in the distance, the sound of the wind tearing in between the buildings in the city, reminding the men of all that they had left behind.

Hyojong looked out over the city below them, realizing only just now how far uphill they had been driving this whole time, his ears twitched as he listened for any sound of other people, but the only sign of life was Hyuna talking in a hushed voice with the motel manager. His hands stretched out in front of him as he held them up to the sky, looking between his fingers at the stars. It had been so long since he left the city that he had almost forgotten what stars looked like in real life.

The voice of their third partner reached their ears as Hyuna returned, calling out their room number as she approached, waving a set of keys in her hands. Hyojong clutched the duffel tighter and they followed her to the room, where she unlocked the door, with some difficulty. The old doors looked like they hadn’t been opened in god knows how long, but as soon as they were in, they found it to be a lot cleaner than they’d expected.

There was one bed and a nightstand, a door leading to a bathroom in the corner. A small rug covered the entrance, but it was cold floorboards after that and none of them bothered even taking their shoes off, before collapsing onto the one bed. It smelled musty and creaked under their weight, but it was a bed and Hwitaek was fairly sure he was asleep before his head had even hit the pillow.

  


/ /

**  
**

**7:36**

The sound of the shower running woke her and she rolled over, reaching for her blanket to tug over her head, the pounding of the water was pulling at her mind, forcing her awake. She sat up, squinting around the room, the dinginess of the motel room felt dirty just by looking at it, the tiny amount of sunlight creeping through the curtains cast an odd shadow around the room.

Next to her, sound asleep was Hwitaek, his hands tucked under his cheek, palms pressed together. Tiny sounds died in his throat as he breathed, even while asleep, he looked exhausted. Hyuna turned her head to brush her hair off her shoulder, reaching to tug the blanket tighter around the sleeping form of her friend. He really looked too cute like this.

Her skin felt grimy and as she climbed off the bed, she realized the burn in the base of her spine, realizing that falling asleep in the car wasn’t her best choice. She stretched, feeling her limbs crack and her lungs expand before she let out the breath she was holding, some of the pressure in her stomach releasing.

The bottom of her feet ached from running barefoot in the streets, her shoulders aching from god knows what and her whole body begged her to go back to sleep. When she moved her hand to pull her hair into a ponytail, she could feel the thickness of it, the grime and blood that was still caked into her locks made her cringe. Her stomach was still in knots from the day before and her nerves were starting to get worse, her hands had stopped shaking last night, but she knew that that wasn’t the end of it.

Fear was a prominent factor in her decision to run, but there was also that hopefulness, of finding something new, of getting away from her life. She walked to the window and peered out, her eyes searching the empty parking lot that was displayed through the curtains. So much for a view.

She wanted to go outside, she wanted to walk around, she wanted to breathe in the fresh air, but the thought of going alone was slightly terrifying at the moment and Hwitaek was still asleep. Her hands clenched into fists as she walked to the bathroom door, knocking softly. A hum came in response and she opened the door, carefully walking into the steamy bathroom, Hyojong always did prefer hot showers.

“I’m just going to wash my hands,” she said, walking to the sink, putting her hand up as a shield between her eyes and the direction of the shower.

Hyojong chuckled, his morning voice sounding rough and spent, he must be starting the stages of withdrawal. Trying not to show the redness of her cheeks, she looked into the mirror, staring back at herself. Dark circles framed her eyes and there was some marks on her neck, which upon closer inspection was blood. Her eyes closed slowly and she had a momentary flash of memories, the fear that had filled her chest, the way her hand had been disturbingly steady in the heat of the moment, the splash of red and the blood covering her face and neck. Her feet becoming weak under her as she slipped in the blood, covering her legs and hands in it.

A sickness filled her stomach and she frantically opened the toilet lid, all of her nerves coming out in the form of vomit, her eyes stinging with tears as she emptied her already empty stomach. She retched once again, the sound of the shower curtain going unnoticed by her and as she sat up, she found a hand towel being held out to her. She accepted it and wiped at her mouth, the burning sour taste still in the back of her throat.

“Noona,” Hyojong called her attention, his voice soft and almost whining. He was holding a few pieces of hair away from her face and as her eyes followed to his hand, she noticed that her hair must have gotten in the way while she was throwing up. She felt like crying, but she wasn’t going to and it wasn’t just because Hyojong was here, she wouldn’t let herself feel that weak.

Hyojong’s hands went to the bottom of her t-shirt and he pursed his lips, staring at her quivering lip. “Come on, you can join me,” he pressed, his hands moving as she went to remove it herself. She tugged the shirt over her head, surprised by the lack of embarrassment she felt, her hands going to remove her skirt.

He stepped back into the shower, waiting patiently for her and when she had removed her underwear and bra as well, she hesitantly entered the stream of hot water. Her hands went to cover herself, but when she looked up at him, she noticed that his eyes were avoiding her. A laugh burst out of her, surprising both of them.

“It’s okay,” he muttered, moving from under the showerhead, so she could step under. She let the water pour over her face and hair, thoroughly soaking her, her skin tingling from the heat. As her body eased, the tension leaking away, being washed down the drain with all the dirt from her skin, she almost jumped at the hands that were combing through her hair.

His fingers were sturdy as they massaged her scalp, running through the tangles in her hair, pulling them apart without hurting her. His fingertips gliding down her neck and brushed over the shape of her spine, till they reached the tips of her hair, moving back to the roots and starting over again. His touch sent electric shocks through her body, but it was gentle and so so soft that she wondered if she was going to fall back asleep.

There was no lust in his touch, there was no hidden intention or double meaning, it was simply for comfort and she felt gratefulness build in her chest, knowing that Hyojong would always take care of her. When his hands left her scalp, she whined momentarily, looking back to see him collecting shampoo onto his hands, lathering it together and rubbing it into her hair.

He thoroughly slicked her tresses in it, before turning her to rinse it out, not wanting it to sit too long for fear of drying out her hair. He scrubbed it from her scalp, before smothering her hair in conditioner, rubbing it deep into her scalp. It had been too long since anyone had been so caring with her and the head massage he was giving her was helping her to relax entirely. 

His thumbs rubbed into the base of her skull while his digits massaged into her crown and she closed her eyes, indulging in the pleasurable strokes. As he rubbed a particularly sore spot, she let out a tiny moan, not expecting it to be so sensitive. She could feel his laugh on her bare shoulders and she blushed again.

The benefit to showering with a taller man was that he could reach the shower head, pulling it down to aim at her roots while he scrubbed the soap out of her hair, she closed her eyes and allowed him to continue what he’d started, making sure there wasn’t a drop of conditioner left. A soft breath escaped through her lips as she started to tilt her head, leaning into his touch. When he was finished, his hands gently grasped her shoulders, turning her to look at him.

His eyes remained on hers, not wavering or shifting once as he gazed into her hues, bending over slightly and planting a kiss on her forehead. When he pulled back, he gave her a little smile and rubbed his hand over the top of her head, an affectionate gesture that was far too similar to something an older brother would do.

Watching him step out of the shower, his lithe naked body moving with a surprising amount of grace, he slid the curtain shut behind him, leaving her to wash her body on her own. She listened to him leave the bathroom, probably going to find his clothes from the corner of the room. Despite never having spent the night in a bed with either one of them before, she was still familiar with all of their habits, Hyojong always got undressed the second he woke up, discarding his clothing in the corner. Hwitaek almost always slept in till late morning, getting up exactly six hours after he went to sleep.

The tiny things she learned from spending years getting to know them, she remembered every single one and each one made her smile, the amount of character each of their habits displayed was endearing. She smiled to herself, thinking of her boys - no,  _ the _ boys, always made her feel giddy. Both of them were just unique enough and stubborn enough that she knew she was fucked the second she met them, they had stolen her heart and there was no way she could get it back.

  


/ /

**  
**

**8:41**

When she finished her shower, she wrapped herself in a towel and walked out into the room, seeing Hyojong, now dressed, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. She frowned, approaching him, noticing that Hwitaek was nowhere in sight. “What is it?” she asked, her voice soft. “Where’s Hwitaek-ah?”

“That bastard left us,” Hyojong sneered through gritted teeth. “He took the money and the car and took off,” he rose to his feet, his hands forming fists. His form had gone rigid, his entire posture screamed anger and Hyuna felt her heart clench for a moment.

“No,” she shook her head. He wouldn’t do that, Hwitaek would never do that, that’s not who he was. “w-we both know him better than that...don’t we?” she bit into her bottom lip, staring up at Hyojong.

“Go get dressed, I’ll google for a cab service,” he waved her back into the bathroom, pulling his phone from his pocket. Hyuna dressed as quick as possible and stepped into the room once more, now clothed, her eyes searching for her shoes.

Now she really felt like crying, the pain of betrayal burning in her ribcage and trickling down to her stomach, she sniffed and wiped her hand over her nose. Hwitaek would never abandon them, would he? He loved them just as much as they loved him...right? He may steal from strangers for fun, but he would never steal from them.

The sound of a car engine outside made Hyuna duck back into the shadow, as Hyojong pressed himself against the wall, looking through the curtains. His jaw hardened, looking carved of stone and his nostrils flared with fury. Her assumption was immediately confirmed as Hyojong rushed to the door, waiting just to the side of it, his eyes flicking to her as he motioned for her to stay where she was.

She choked on her breath as she blinked, unsure as to what was about to happen. There wasn’t any good way this could end, but she didn’t have time to wonder as the sound of a key being fitted into the keyhole alerted them and it clicked, the handle turning. The second Hwitaek’s body started into the door, Hyojong grabbed his collar and shoved him further in, slamming the door behind him.

Hyojong moved faster than she had ever seen as he dashed to grab Hwitaek by the throat, throwing himself on top of his friend, clutching his neck. “What was your plan, huh? Gonna take off and leave us here with here with no car or money for the police to find?” he spat, his words full of venom.

The face of the man beneath him was far from what she’d expected, his eyes were wide and he swallowed, he didn’t look like someone who would betray them. Her heart lurched as he rasped a reply, his eyes went to a bag that he’d been carrying, neither of them had noticed it apparently. It was a large shopping bag and Hyuna snatched it up to look inside, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Get off him,” she sighed, her voice sounded so desperate that Hyojong immediately slid off of him, releasing his throat. Hwitaek shoved Hyojong away from him as he got to his feet, tugging at his collar in a sloppy attempt to fix it. She locked her jaw and threw the bag at Hyojong, it hit him in the chest and he barely managed to catch it. He looked between his friends and stood up, tearing open the bag.

He withdrew the contents, three containers of jjajangmyeon and pairs of chopsticks to go with it and he tossed them onto the bed. He balled up the bag and threw it at Hwitaek. His eyes were full of supposed anger, but Hyuna could see the guilt lying in them, he stared at the older man, who was staring at his feet. No words could even be exchanged, an apology meant nothing now and Hyojong didn’t need to explain his thoughts, because they all knew what they were.

They were all paranoid, they were losing trust in each other and if they kept this up, they wouldn’t last long on the road. Any wedges between them would only lead to failure and at this point, Hyuna couldn’t stomach the idea of failure, she couldn’t get caught, she couldn’t let them get caught. She took a shaky breath in, running her fingers through her now clean hair, still grateful to Hyojong that there wasn’t a speck of grime in it. 

“Let’s eat,” Hwitaek mumbled, grabbing one of the takeout bowls and handing it to Hyuna, which she accepted gratefully. He lifted the second and held it out to Hyojong, waiting for him to take it. The younger seemed to bristle for a second, before tugging it from Hwitaek’s hands.

Hyuna sat on the end of the bed, Hyojong taking a seat by the floor and Hwitaek crossing his legs under him and sitting up by the head of the bed. He was still wearing his blue silk shirt, it was dusted in dirt and one elbow had a small tear, the buttons looked strained and was barely holding together, his lean chest was on display, the hickeys he’d worn a few days ago had faded to tiny splotches of dull pink, they were hardly noticeable.

The cuts on his face looked dirty and she wondered if he’d washed them at all since they arrived, his pants knees were all scuffed and his shoes looked a little worse for wear, there were sweat stains that had seeped into the fabric under his arms and down his back. He looked dirty and messy and as Hyuna ate, she silently took this in. It had been so long since Hwitaek looked anything but perfect, the middle of the three, yet he dressed with such class that he seemed like the oldest. She hadn’t seem look so disheveled since they used to play in the woods in the back of her house when they were young teenagers, Hwitaek especially was reckless when they were young and would always end up with a dirt smudged nose and the occasional stick in his hair.

Her eyes shifted to Hyojong, slumped against the window sill, his slightly damp hair was brushing against the curtains as he chewed, his eyes on the ceiling. He was looking a little better off than Hwitaek, as he had had the chance to shower, but his clothes were hanging off of him. His tank top was covered in dirt from being knocked to the street just over twelve hours before, his loose jacket shirt was looking a little frayed and his already ripped jeans...definitely needed help. His sandals the only thing that didn’t look any different, but they were also the only shoes he owned, so they were expected to look filthy and overworn.

“You both need new clothes,” she said, gulping down another bite of her food, the warm noodles making her grumbling stomach much quieter. The other two looked at her and then at each other, taking in the other’s trashed state and suddenly their expressions looked much heavier, the effects of the past day were weighing on them more and more. She had never seen Hyojong looking so stressed.

“Agreed,” Hwitaek mumbled, before wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

Hyojong snorted. “Where even are we?”

“Gyeongsangnam-do, Daegu’s a little over an hour from here, there should be plenty of clothing stores there,” Hwitaek replied, his head rested against the back of the bed, his eyes closed while he thought. “We could try Gyeongsangbuk-do, but it’s another two hours from Dae-”

“Let’s go to Seoul,” Hyuna announced, her eyes lighting up for a second. The two boys looked at her incredulously, their expressions suggested they thought she was crazy. “Think about it. We have a ton of money, there’s no way the police won’t catch us at this point, that we need to accept.”

A silence hung between them, before Hyojong spoke up, the sparkle from her eye reaching his as he nodded. “If we’re going to jail anyways, let’s make the most of it.”

“Exactly,” she grinned. “Let’s get drunk everyday, let’s go to clubs, let’s gamble, let’s-” she stopped herself here, before she got too excited, unsure as to what she might suggest. The knowledge that she was likely to spend the rest of her life in jail was bearing over her head and the adrenaline at what was to come was making her giddy, she wanted to  _ live _ before she spent every day staring out between bars.

Eager by Hyojong’s agreement, Hyuna rounded on the last of their trio, her eyes bright. “What do you think?” her expression faltered at the sight of Hwitaek’s. His eyes were wide, the bottom welling with glistening tears and his jaw quivered for half a second. He shook his head fervently.

“No, we...we have to escape. Please, Hyuna, let’s just, let’s keep going,” he wet his lips with his tongue. “As far as we can, come on, we could do it,” his hand desperately snatched her hand up into his own, his eyes turning to plead with Hyojong.

The youngest of them climbed up to join them on the bed, his hand adding onto the stack, his fingers pressing against Hwitaek’s wrist. “Hwitaek-hyung,” he whispered. He’d been quick to assume that Hwitaek betrayed them, he’d lashed out so quickly and accused him of something horrible and for that he wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive himself. Looking at his older friend, seeing how childlike he looked with tears threatening to spill down his cheeks, the broken skin on his nose and lip, the tremble in his lips and the pure fear that filled his hues, it shattered Hyojong’s heart.

“You know there’s no way we can run forever,” Hyojong murmured, leaning in to knock his head against both Hyuna’s and Hwitaek’s. They couldn’t have Hwitaek break now, he had been going so strong for awhile but seeing how close he was to the edge, it made small parts of the other two feel the same fear he felt, but in a different sense. They were afraid they were going to lose him, they were afraid that the fear in him would lead him to the police in hopes of getting a shorter prison sentence.

While there was no assurance that the police had even found the man’s body yet, the sooner they got far away, the better. Hyuna’s hand went to rub at Hwitaek’s back, her other hand slipping out of his and reaching up to tip his chin back so he could look at her. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ve been distant these past few years, so let’s...let’s have fun while we can, yeah?” her voice was soft and her smile unwavering.  
  
Hwitaek sniffed again, blinking to clear away the tears that had almost fallen, wiping at them with the back of his hand. He looked to Hyojong, who was giving him one of his weird quirky grins, it was cute and made Hwitaek smile a little bit. His heart rate started to return to normal, he took deep breaths until he was satisfied that he wasn’t going to have a panic attack. It was going to be okay. They were all friends, they were together, they loved each other. These three factors were what was most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is when Shit goes down, so good luck <3  
> Thank you for reading, please let me know what you thought!


	4. Where I Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! For those who don't follow me on twitter, my late update is because I wanted to put it off out of respect for the Manchester situation. It just seemed insensitive to update the day after the bombing, so I postponed it till today!  
> Thank you for the response I've received so far, I'm so grateful to all of you <3  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> //smut warning

**12:40**

Hyuna’s fingers brushed through the fabrics of the clothing, the greedy part of her demanded to own all of it right away, but she knew she had to be picky, otherwise she’d attempt to buy everything and they just couldn’t have all that luggage to carry around. Her fingers felt a soft crushed velvet and she pulled it out to look at it, it was a long floral button up and she smiled as she ran her fingers over the sleeves, which were long and flowy. She folded it over her arm, deciding that she would try it on.

She selected a few more items before going back into the dressing room, where she slipped into the high waisted jeans with the frayed cuffs, she liked the way she fit. Next she pulled on a black bralette with a plunge neckline, a lace pattern extending from the band and laying on her stomach. It was pretty on. She pulled on the floral shirt that she’d chosen to complete her ensemble and paired them with the gold slingback mule heels that she’d picked out. Makeup was not something that Kim Hyuna required, her bare beauty was radiant and she knew it, she looked irresistible.

Pinching her fingers around the plastic tag fastener and gave it a tug, pulling it off. She collected the tags in her hand and walked from the dressing room to the register, leaving her discarded clothes in the dressing room, she wouldn’t be needing them anymore. She tossed the tags onto the counter in front of the cashier and waited for the woman to scan them. The cashier looked horrified that someone would actually do this and it made Hyuna feel delightful.

After paying, she made her way out of the store, looking around the shopping mall for the boys, knowing that she’d left them somewhere around here. She pulled out her phone and tried to turn it on, a red battery symbol appeared on her black screen and she groaned. She hadn’t grabbed her phone charger before leaving Jeon-ju and now it was dead.

She tucked it into the alligator skin purse she’d just bought and sighed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Another shopping bag was in hand as she had already bought a few other outfits at various other stores. The boys couldn’t have gone far, so she wandered for a bit, until a small antiques shop caught her eye and she entered, curiosity getting the better of her. She poked around the tables, looking for something that might be useful, but finding mostly old crock pots and various toys that must be valuable to someone.

Her eye wandered to the front counter and she looked at the display of vintage jewelry, the old woman behind the counter coming over and inquiring if there was anything she wanted. She couldn’t stop looking at a particularly bright watch, light glinted off the gold band and the face of the watch had been polished recently enough to shine just as brilliantly. 

“I’ll take that watch,” she instructed, reaching into her purse and withdrawing some money. The old woman unlocked the case and pulled the watch case out, undoing the latch and slipping the piece of jewelry off of it’s velvet plush. She laid it out on the counter for Hyuna to inspect, before exchanging it for the money that Hyuna gave to her. 

Now with a new watch to help her keep track of time, as her damn phone was dead, Hyuna walked through the mall, looking for any sign of her two blonde beauties of companions. She caught sight of a blonde haired man, but realized he was much too tall, so she diverted her attention.

Of course they were, she spotted them crossing through the crowd, dressed in entirely new clothing. Hyojong seemed to see her and he nudged Hwitaek, motioning towards her, she waved a hand to make it easier for them to spot her. The two pushed through a group of people and started towards her, they were a bit off which she was fine with, as this gave her a better chance to examine their new attire.

Hyojong was wearing a plain black t-shirt and ripped acid wash jeans that hugged his hips in all the right ways, tan corduroy chukka’s were secured on his feet, adding a bit of a classy note to complete his look. Hwitaek was wearing loose black slacks, a light grey cotton tee and a red and green plaid button down that hung to his waist, his shoes were loafers with a buckle and tassels. They both looked killer and their bloodied faces somehow made them all the more attractive.

As they got closer, she could tell the way that they examined her, both of them breaking into grins, Hyojong’s hand reached out towards her. When they were within reach, she clasped his hand and allowed him to spin her in a circle, so they could get a good look at her clothing, leaving her laughing shyly.

“Ahh~ pretty,” Hwitaek mused, his hands slipping into his pockets. He raised his eyebrows at her shopping bags before gesturing to his and Hyojong’s own bags, which of course the younger was carrying. “I guess we’re all set then?”

“I need a phone charger,” she pouted.

Hyojong smirked. “Already got you covered, I bought three,” he nodded his head down towards his bag. The oldest broke into a grin and she tossed her arms over their shoulders, not caring who saw for now.

“Let’s go then!”

 

/ /

 

**1:16**

They stopped for lunch at a restaurant that they never would have been able to afford when they were in Jeon-ju, as Hyuna had always insisted that they never print the money themselves, something along the lines of “it’s too easy to trace in town” was her reasoning, but they secretly wondered if she was involved in some kind of trading business with a mob boss of some sorts.

Hyojong ate more than he had in months and his stomach felt sufficiently full, he stretched his arms above his head and rubbed at the back of his neck. He rolled his shoulders, indulging in the comfortable feeling of being safe and well fed. His hand had started shaking again this morning, but he was lucky that he’d remembered to snatch his bag before he left, tucking it into his pocket. He was just relieved that neither of his companions noticed, they probably thought he was going to go clean while on the run, oh how little they actually knew him.

The waitress came and collected their plates, Hwitaek bowing his head and thanking her. They were sat in a booth, so Hyuna could plug her phone into the outlet under the table, her head resting against the trim of the wall as she waited for it to be anything above 50%. Hwitaek looked over and smirked at her. “If you keep turning it on to see how much it’s charged, it’s not going to charge very well, you realize that right?”

She stuck her tongue out at him, before going back to staring at her phone. Hwitaek rolled his eyes, looking amused still. He turned to look across the table at Hyojong, who had his chin rested in his palm now, elbows propped on the edge of the table. He seemed deep in thought and Hwitaek lifted his foot to nudge his friend’s leg, allowing the toe of his loafers to slid along the defined lines of Hyojong’s calf. That got his attention.

When Hyojong’s head snapped to look at Hwitaek, finding the other’s eyes on him, he looked back at him, feeling the heat of his gaze. There was a phrase that people used to describe how Hyojong was feeling, one of which was eye-fucked, but he wasn’t sure if this was like that. He might have described it like that if it was coming from anyone else, but not Hwitaek, he wasn’t like that. Not on purpose.

A blush burned it’s way onto Hyojong’s cheeks and he looked down at the tabletop, tracing the old wood marks with his finger, avoiding his friend’s intense stare. He felt the foot at his leg slide up and down, pressing into his flesh. It felt firm and determined and he wondered what Hwitaek was trying to get out of this, did he just like teasing Hyojong? Was he messing with him or what? 

“50!” Hyuna cried, unplugging her phone charger and turning to the boys. “You ready?”

Hyojong nodded too quickly and kicked Hwitaek’s foot away from him, scooting to get out of the booth. He didn’t look at Hwitaek, who was staring up at him with a much softer expression than he had before, his expression could only be read as hurt. Hyuna saw it and put a hand on his shoulder, unsure as to what she missed and pushed him a little, urging him to move so she could get out.

They were barely out the door before Hyojong was already in the car, Hyuna rushing to keep up and Hwitaek lagging behind with his head hung low. When Hyuna reached the car, she climbed in quickly, turning on Hyojong. “What did you do?” she hissed.

He shook his head, as Hwitaek managed to get to the car, slipping into the driver’s seat. He looked over his shoulder as he pulled out of his parking space, his hand on the back of Hyuna’s seat. He was staring right over Hyojong’s shoulder and the youngest looked down, trying to avoid meeting eyes with him, feeling an ounce of shame.

Truthfully, his heart had soared at Hwitaek’s touch, but that joy was instantly replaced with a deep seated bitterness at the idea of Hwitaek trying to play up a reaction from him. He grinded his teeth together as he stared out the window, the nerves in his jaw strained painfully when he clenched it.

“Where to next?” Hwitaek asked, his fingers drumming on the wheel.

“Casino!” Hyuna cried, excitedly. They all needed some cheering up and winning made everyone feel better.

 

/ /

 

**6:32**

The casino had turned out to be a great idea, Hyuna surprised everyone with her gambling intuition, the amount of money she had to begin with had almost tripled by the end of the night, but eventually she lost a small chunk of it and decided to call it quits. Apparently playing for four hours got boring after awhile and she dragged the boys down into the street to hail a cab. 

“Where are we going now?” 

“Karaoke bar, of course,” she grinned.

Her eyes fell on Hwitaek, who was staring out the window of the cab, with a distant expression on his face. He seemed to be perfectly content staring out at nothing, but she reached over and brushed a lock of his hair behind his ear. “Our Hwi’s a great singer, after all,” she purred.

Hwitaek turned to look at her bewildered, his cheeks warming. Hyojong murmured an agreement, sounding a little pouty, as if jealous of his friend’s vocal abilities. Hwitaek shook his head and waved them both away.

“Ah, I’m not that good,” he couldn’t deny the heat from their eyes, both pairs focused on him. There was no disagreeing with them and he let himself be pulled out into the street and into the karaoke bar. It was dimly lit and had a vague scent of smoke, which burned Hwitaek’s nose.

Apparently they didn’t have any open rooms and Hyuna pouted about it as she let Hyojong drag the three of them back into the street, Hwitaek was secretly relieved now that he didn’t have to face the embarrassment of singing in front of them again, he’d already made that mistake when he was a teenager and their high school had had a singing contest. His voice had cracked from nerves and he’d been laughed off stage.

“You’re not getting away that easily,” Hyojong sighed, slipping his hand over Hwitaek’s shoulders as Hyuna grabbed his arm from the other side. “Serenade us, Hwitaek-ah,” he demanded.

_ God _ , whatever Hyojong wanted, Hyojong got.

There was a pause where the only sound was the passing of cars in the street and a dull hum from someone’s window air conduit, which strummed to life and filled the would be quiet of the street. Hwitaek drew a deep breath in through his nose and when his lips parted, his voice started to leak through into the air. He was a little rusty, it had been a long time since he’d taken lessons and at first it was coming from his throat, but he eventually sorted out his breathing to be appropriately from his stomach.

It was an English song that he’d listened to a lot the year before, the words still fresh in his memory as if he’d listened to it just yesterday.

_ There’s nowhere that I wouldn’t follow _

_ There’s nothing that I won’t do for your kiss _

_ I love you like there’s no tomorrow _

_ 'Cause nothing ever felt like this _

As his voice carried down the streets, it melded into the air and was painted on the light posts and the window boxes of the apartments in the alleyways, leaving permanent stains of his presence. No matter how far he went or how long they ran, his voice was still ingrained into the stonework of the streets and the metal bend of the traffic lights overhead.

He stopped somewhere after the second chorus, his tone fading and falling silent. His cheeks flushed red for a moment as he felt Hyojong cuddle up to his side, resting his chin on his shoulder. He could feel his friend’s breath against his cheek and he swallowed.

Hyuna settled onto his other shoulder and whispered, “So beautiful,” her knuckle grazing over his chin.

There was a second of silence before Hwitaek laughed and shrugged them off of him. “Let’s go to a club,” he mused, feeling himself growing more and more shy after receiving so much attention.

 

/ /

 

**8:45**

The club had a heady air and there were strobe lights sweeping across the room, illuminating corners where things were happening that should never be shown in public. The bar was expansive and had various types of alcohol, which Hwitaek was divulging in. 

Hyojong was showing off his popping skills on the dance floor, earning cheers and a crowd. The way his body moved was so fluid and mesmerizing that Hwitaek had a hard time looking away, but a hand shimmering up his chest pulled his attention away and he found himself face to face with a very drunk looking Hyuna, her eyes hooded and a playful smirk on her lips.

“Hwi-yah,” she whined.

He blinked at her in response.

“Dance with me,  _ please _ ~”

That just wasn’t fair and for the second time that night, he found himself unable to say no. Hwitaek let her snatch his hand up and drag him out onto the dance floor, she spun under his arm to cozy up next to him, her body moving with the music. It had been a long time since Hwitaek danced sober - well he wasn’t entirely sober, but being the driver, he did his best not to get smashed. His limbs were stiff at first, but looking back at Hyojong memories of their childhood dance lessons together were starting to come back to him and he loosened up his joints.

Letting the music carry him, he danced freely, the woman in front of him laughing as he did a silly move, pleased at the reaction he’d received. They were starting to dance closer and it wasn’t long before Hyuna pressed her backside up against his groin, making him freeze as she wriggled her hips, knowing exactly what she was doing to him.

His lips parted in a sigh and he tilted his head back, he really needed to stop this before she did something she regretted. He wouldn’t want her to hate him after this and he wasn’t sure how much self control he had left, with both Hyuna and Hyojong apparently out to get him with their dance moves. His problem was that they were both just so fucking attractive and he always found it hard to breathe around them.

Just as he started to push back against Hyuna’s movements, she pulled away, his eyes following her as Hyojong came up behind to snake his arms around her waist. He gave Hwitaek a wicked smirk as he pulled Hyuna closer, his nose resting at her cheekbone as their bodies began moving in perfect sync. He couldn’t find it in himself to be jealous, he just wanted to be apart of it.

Before he knew it, they had disappeared into the crowd and his heart felt like it sunk deep into the pit of his stomach, his feet carrying him back towards the bar. He really wanted like eight drinks right now, but as he got closer, his eyes moved to the bathrooms. It would be much quieter in there and he would have a chance to sort out his thoughts.

The bathrooms were empty and so he slipped into a stall and closed it behind him, embracing the muted sounds of the club, letting the calmness of the bathroom wash over him. He was planning on washing his face, but then the sound of the door opening made him stop and retreat back from the stall door.

“I think I saw him disappear into here,” Hyojong’s voice carried to him and he grimaced, he wasn’t ready to see them yet.

“Hwitaek-ah,” Hyuna’s whisper met him and he sighed.

They were persistent and would probably break every stall door down trying to find him, so he said in reply. “Yes.”

His friends made delighted sounds, pleased at their ability to find him anywhere, which wasn’t wrong actually. There was a moment of quiet, before Hwitaek’s stall door was pushed open and both Hyuna and Hyojong made their way in, backing Hwitaek up to the far wall, his legs straddling the toilet. It was a little cramped....

“Hi,” Hyojong grinned at him.

“Uhm, hi. Do we...have to all be in here?”

Hyuna giggled. “We actually came to get you out of here,” she turned and started shoving Hyojong, who burst through the stall door once again, it slammed on it’s hinges and closed behind him from the force he used, making Hyuna giggle again.

There was something intoxicating about her giggle, there was no way he didn’t have alcohol in his system, all of his senses were on fire and he had time to blink once before his impulse took over and he moved to cup Hyuna’s jaw in his hand. His lips were inches from hers, they were so close he could taste the soju in her breath.

Her hand met his chest and she shoved him off, another giggle leaving her lips as she followed Hyojong out of the stall, glancing over her shoulder at the dejected Hwitaek. His heart was still pounding in his chest and his head was filling with sudden thoughts. Were they doing this on purpose? Was this some kind of revenge for whatever it was Hyojong had accused him of doing that morning?

Whatever it was it hurt like hell and Hwitaek had to compose his thoughts before leaving the stall, tailing after the pair who were waiting by the bathroom door. One of them grabbed his hand and pulled him after them, rushing through the crowd and breaking out into the night air yet again.

Hwitaek drove back to their new motel room, this one much cleaner and bigger than the one back in Gyeongsangnam-do, as most things in Daegu were. He kept his eyes on the road, ignoring the fact that Hyojong and Hyuna were starting to get a little handsy in the backseat, his throat clenching. How much did they hate him to do this to him? Surely no one could be stupid enough to not notice that he was madly in love with both of them.

As soon as they reached the motel room, Hwitaek excused himself to go shower, not wanting to watch the drunk pair flirt anymore. He dashed into their motel bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, there were dark circles under his eyes and the bloody marks on his nose and lips were crusted with dried blood and dirt. He looked and felt like shit.

He finished scrubbing his face clean and yanked his shirt off over his head to dab at his wet face. He pulled the rest of his clothes off and turned to look at himself in the mirror, there were dark bruises covering his waist and hips and he flinched as he touched them. Memories of being thrown onto the ground and kicked in the alleyway were flooding his mind as he gently slid his hands over the marks. 

The lean muscle that covered the expanse of his stomach looked taut and stretched over his bones, he hadn’t been eating enough and his shaky legs were looking thinner by the day. His face was gaunt and he no longer had the rounded pout in his face that so many people had told him was one of his most attractive features. His sharp eyes looked almost dead and he tried to recall for a moment when the last time he’d eaten something other than alcohol or cheap street food was...he couldn’t remember.

A groan escaped him and he ran his fingers through his hair, getting the loose strands out of his face as he turned back to the shower. His hand ghosted over his chest where Hyuna had shoved him away earlier, the shame of his apparently unwanted advance had started a puddle of guilt in his stomach. It was such an ugly feeling as he wondered how much better he was than the man she had killed.

 

/ /

 

**10:26**

Hyuna sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, stretching her arms over her head, trying not to yawn. She was getting a little tired, but there was something about the thick air of the motel room that had her focusing on the buzz underneath her skin, the adrenaline from the club hadn’t rubbed off yet and she thought to her hushed conversation with Hyojong on the dance floor.

He had brushed his hand against her skirt and she immediately whirled around to press herself into his arms, whispering drunken mumbles against his neck. The words “ _ Hwitaek _ ” and “ _ need some good sex _ ” had made it’s way to his ears and he smirked, the idea of giving Hwitaek good sex was more than pleasing to him and he pulled her closer, relaying his thoughts to her.

_ “God, I’d love to fuck him,” _ he’d growled against her temple.

A breathy giggle escaped her and she nodded.  _ “Me too.” _

_ “You think he’d be up for that?” _ he raised an eyebrow and they both paused, thinking of their friend before Hyuna slowly shook her head.

_ “He’s too prudish right now, we need to break him down,” _ she laughed.

And so they initiated their plan, of breaking down Hwitaek and then bedding him, but standing in the motel with him in the shower, they realized it was going to take a bit longer than they’d planned. The lust they had for him and each other was growing impatient and Hyuna decided to take action.

Standing in the center of the room, Hyojong withdrew a cigarette from a bag in his pocket and lit it up. Hyuna’s eyes followed the smoke, drifting through the air, down to Hyojong’s lips, locked tightly around the paper roll. Hwitaek was never a fan of substances other than alcohol and wouldn’t have agreed to let Hyojong bring...whatever else was in that bag that he’d been hiding.

She moved closer, her fingers reaching out to pinch the cigarette and removing it from his hands. He thought for a moment that she was going to throw it out, the pouty side of him was starting to rise up, but instead she lifted it to her lips and took a long drag from it, before handing it back. Hyojong chuckled low in his throat.

“When did you manage to smuggle this in?” she asked, brushing her thumb over his chin.

He shrugged. “You’re both a lot more oblivious than you realize.”

“I guess so,” she murmured.

She reached out to grab onto his shirt, deciding not to ball her fist in it and instead shoving him backwards into the chair behind him. He smirked and looked up at her, the smile on his lips was seductive and looked yearning. Her hands went to her floral over-blouse and tugged it off her shoulders, the alcohol in her making her a little more wild than she would usually be, as she gave a little dance while removing it.

“A strip tease?” Hyojong’s eyebrows were raised and he leaned forwards eagerly

Her hand met his forehead and she pushed him back into his seat, he was amused by her new radiance, as she eventually pulled her blouse all the way off, throwing it over Hyojong’s head. He laughed and snatched it off, his blonde hair now a mess. 

Unable to resist, her hand reached out to run through his hair, scratching at his scalp. She wanted to return the head massage he’d given her the other day, but she settled for reaching around to clutch the back of his chair, moving to straddle his lap. He withdrew the cigarette in his mouth and handed it to her, letting her take a few drags from it, before he pulled it away, leaning forwards once more.

She bent at the waist, her red hair cascading over their chests and their lips locked, each of them tasting like smoke and alcohol. When her top teeth bit into his lip, Hyojong let out a moan and his eyes flew open. His gaze met another’s and he felt himself stiffen for but a moment, realizing that he was staring directly at Hwitaek through a considerable crack in the door. His best friend’s eyes burned with anger and lust and Hyojong couldn’t find an ounce of shame at how attractive he found that.

He held his eye contact with Hwitaek as his hand slid down to grip Hyuna’s ass, pulling her closer, his mouth moving from hers to her shoulder. He brushed her hair aside and licked a warm wet stripe from her shoulder to the base of her ear, his eyes never leaving Hwitaek’s. The older man was visibly affected, and now breathing heavily, he walked away.

Hyojong missed his face the second it disappeared.

Hyuna’s hands had found the trim of Hyojong’s t-shirt and she tugged at it, letting out a cute little whine, urging him to remove it. He pulled it off over his head, exposing his bare chest and stomach, her eyes flickering to the tattoo on his shoulder. She had always liked tattoos, hence her own.

His hands moved from her ass, sliding up her hips, over her smooth stomach and stopping to cup her breast gently through her bra. She leaned into his touch, letting him kiss from her chin to her collarbone before making his way down her chest, his tongue applying soft pressure against the curve of her breast. His teeth scraped against her flesh and she trembled for a moment, before his teeth bit into the creamy skin and he began sucking violently. When he pulled away, he looked proud of the dark mark that was now forming on her chest, just barely peeking out over the top of her bralette.

The pressure of Hyojong’s touch was making her feel too warm all over and she squirmed, whispering “bed” in his ear. He moved, his hands cupping under her thighs to lift her with him, walking to the edge of the bed. Instead of dropping her as she expected, he gently lowered her and climbed over her in one fluid motion, placing his knees on either side of her hips, his arms coming to encase where her head lay. It was flawless and simultaneously really hot.

Her blood was pounding at her eardrums as Hyojong’s dry lips kissed through the valley of her breasts, down her stomach, stopping to nip at her navel, and then continuing. He stopped at her shorts, his eyes flicking to hers, a question of burning urgency lay there. She lifted her hips in way of compliance, allowing him to pull them down her thighs, the cool air making her shiver for a moment. There was now only one layer of fabric between Hyojong’s warm mouth and her clit.

Hyojong’s hot breath ghosted over the inside of her thighs and she shivered momentarily, before sucking in a breath at the feeling of his tongue sliding along the line of her underwear. He was such a terrible tease and it was going to kill her, but she waited for him to finish having his fun. His tongue pressed against her underwear, mouthing at her velvety lips through the fabric, she whimpered a bit, his wet tongue dampening the spot even more.

When she had met Hyojong all those years ago, when they were just kids, never would she have thought that they would get to this point, but now that it was happening, she didn’t want it to stop. Her fingers dug into the skin of his shoulders as he hooked his thumbs under the hips of her panties and slid them down and off. She sat up to pull her bralette off over her head, now completely naked beneath him.

“Come on,” she whined, reaching out to tug at his pants.

They had seen each other naked before, that day in the shower, but out of respect for each other they had kept their eyes to themselves and not taken the chance to appreciate the other’s body. Now, they were free to do so and Hyojong took his chance, his eyes sliding over the curve of her waist, her perfect thighs were pressed together in an attempt at modesty, it made him laugh inwardly. He leaned forwards to give attention to her breasts, his tongue pressing flat against the skin and sliding around to the underside, it tasted of sweat and Hyuna. He loved it.

He took her nipple into his mouth, rolling it between his lips, feeling her moan momentarily, he took this as encouragement. He laved at the pert nipple before sucking it into his warm mouth, his tongue still massaging it. When her fingernails grazed across the crown of his head, earning a low sigh from him, he released her breast with a dull pop.

“Hyojonggie,” she wailed, pulling at his trousers again. He obeyed this time, stepping off the bed to remove his jeans, tossing them onto the ground and pulling his boxers off after them. Her eyes seemed to be taking him in, a small blush appearing as she examined his body. He was well built, but not overly muscular. The only abs he had were due to a lack of nourishment and while she wished he’d eat more, she liked his smooth stomach, she liked the softness of it.

As Hyojong moved back down to mouth along her body, Hyuna whimpered, lifting her naked hips to press against his own. He gasped and looked up at her, seeing the need behind her eyes. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

Despite being on the road most of the time, Hyuna still thought it’d be fun to purchase some lube and condoms, which she withdrew from her bag below the bed. Hyojong’s eyebrows were raised, he was apparently impressed with her boldness, not as if she had asked for his approval. Handing him the condoms, she slicked her fingers in the lube and inserted one between her cheeks, teasing her own hole before pressing the digit inside.

It had been awhile since she’d done this and she huffed with the effort as her finger slid in and out, her body adjusting to the intrusion. She was persistent, thrusting her finger in and out several times, until she decided that she was ready for another finger. Curling her fingers inside of herself, she wriggled at the feeling of something inside of her, it really had been too long and the feeling had grown unfamiliar again.

Hyojong’s eyes were full of fire while he watched her finger herself, the soft moans that slipped between her lips and the scrunch of her face was all too much for him and he grabbed hold of his cock, the condom already on. He lubed his hand, just in case and began stroking slowly, not wanting to overdo it, but just enough to keep him from losing his mind watching her.

“Okay,” she finally spoke, her breath coming out in little puffs. “I’m ready,” she turned to wrap her legs around his waist, leaning back to brace herself against the pillow behind her

He had never slid inside of someone so quickly, but as soon as the words left her mouth, he was lining himself up with her entrance and carefully pushing into her hole. She was tighter than he was expecting - or he was thicker than she expected? - and it took a bit of effort to fully seat himself inside of her. As soon as he was balls deep, she clenched around him as she adjusted, his length even better than she could have thought it’d be.

When she nodded, he slowly rolled his hips, gasping at the feeling of being buried in her, her warm walls felt so smooth and inviting and he thrusted in again just to feel the way he slid in and out of her. He pulled back and thrusted in, a little harder this time. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, savoring the feeling, her breath was soft and broke with each thrust.

Her hips started to meet his mid thrust and he felt an explosion of heat in the pit of his stomach, he leaned forwards to brace himself as he thrust into her once again, deeper than before, earning a cry of surprise. He kept his rhythm of thrusts, eagerness taking over him, her hands sliding up to grip his shoulders. She pulled him further to kiss him, her tongue rubbing against the roof of his mouth and their teeth clacking together.

There was a burning ache in his shoulder and he smiled, knowing she would leave half crescent scars in his skin, the thought of getting to flaunt his scars in front of Hwitaek made his dick twitch inside of Hyuna. He didn’t want to think about Hwitaek while fucking her, that wasn’t fair. He focused on the soft features of her face, thrusting to draw more sounds from her pretty plush lips, she was so beautiful, even if he wasn’t fucking her, he would still just stare at each expression she made.

When he rolled and snapped his hips forwards, pulling a loud gasping moan from her, he felt his ears burn bright red, the sounds she was making were sinful and bringing him closer and closer to the edge. He leaned forwards and started sucking on the skin of her chest, his hands moving to grab her wrists, pressing them to the mattress above her. If her grin was anything to go by, he was guessing she liked that.

His hips moved with more ferocity, pushing deep inside of her and pulling out, before maneuvering his hips in a circle, rubbing his cock against her walls. She whimpered whenever he did this and it gave him the confidence to try it again, but she clenched tightly around his length, making him hiss through his teeth. “Just hurry up, please, I’m close,” she growled.

Taking her command to heart, Hyojong gripped her wrists a little tighter and pounded into her, the way her hips bounced back off the bed was mesmerizing to watch. The soft flesh of her thighs shook with every thrust and he loved watching it, his thrusts were starting to get a little sporadic as he was getting closer and closer to his release.

“Come on, baby,” he gasped, freeing one of her wrists to lower his hand to her clit, his thumb massaging at her folds as he fucked in and out of her. The way she mewled at this made Hyojong’s head spin violently, he really wasn’t going to last long, especially with the way she writhed under him.

Another roll of his hips, his thumb rubbing circles against her clit and her orgasm came in a crashing wave of pleasure, spreading through her body as she felt herself release. Now she just needed to make sure that Hyojong followed shortly after, and with a clench of her hole and a loud groan from her throat, he was doing just that. His body shook from the force with which he was cumming, filling the condom wrapped around his length.

They held still for a moment, before he pulled out, his cock pink and her hole leaking and abused. He discarded the condom, tying it off before throwing it into the trash can. His body was already starting to ache and drowsiness was controlling him as he lay down on the bed next to her, his eyes fluttering shut. The last thing he heard was Hyuna’s soft whisper.

“We have got to do this with Hwitaek next time,” her breath was warm against his chest and he managed to hum his approval as he slipped into a deep sex provoked slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo boy, I did tell you this was where Stuff and Things started happening, didn't I? The next chapter will have more Things than Stuff, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!  
> Please let me know what you think!!


	5. Hers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for sticking with me this far! I've been in a little bit of a writing slump recently and it's been hard to even get a few paragraphs down ://  
> however in a spurt of inspiration, I managed to whip out the second half of this chapter last night, so apologies for any errors or if it seems rushed  
> enjoy~
> 
> //sexual content warning//

**6:37**

It was so clear now, plain as day even, there was no way around it. Hwitaek had had the realization and as crushing as it was, he knew he had to accept it. It was only fair, it was the only way they could be happy. Seeing them together, he was confused, he wanted to be sure that they weren’t secretly fucking, he wanted to convince himself that they wouldn’t do that behind his back. But the way that Hyojong had stared at him, the way their eyes had met and the heat in Hyojong’s eyes had intensified, he felt even more conflict within himself.

He couldn’t be sure if Hyojong was just an exhibitionist, but there was one conclusion he’d come to that every part of him seemed to agree on. They were better off without him, they didn’t need him, they were perfectly happy with just each other. So it was time for him to go, it would be safer for them.

He had already packed up all of his clothes and taken a very small portion of what was left of the money, leaving them plenty to use for whatever they wanted. A plan was devising in his head and it was terrifying, but he knew he couldn’t back out now. He was going to use what money he took to take himself to Seoul, there he was going to see his mother one last time, before going back to Jeon-ju, where he would turn himself in. It was a flawless plan that would take a lot more courage than he ever remembered having.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Hwitaek pulled out his phone to google for a taxi service, walking to the room where Hyojong and Hyuna had slept, knowing exactly what was going to be on the other side of the door. He stopped just outside of it, resting his forehead against it. It was still early but they wouldn’t sleep soundly for long, so he knew he needed to be quick. He just wanted to see them both once more. He set his bag on the ground and carefully pushed the door open, he was still wearing his clothes from last night, his overshirt pulled tightly around his body as he crept in.

Asleep on the bed in front of him were his two best friends, Hyojong with his arm around Hyuna’s waist, both of them naked, with the sheet covering them waist down. Hyuna was lying on her stomach and Hyojong on his side. Seeing them made his heart catch in his throat, his neutral calm was quickly turning into a selfish panic, the idea of running anywhere without them was even more terrifying.

He took a deep breath and slowly laid down onto the bed, on the other side of Hyuna. Oddly, they were lying in the perfect position - Hyojong on the edge and Hyuna in the middle - to save room for Hwitaek, it felt as if they were waiting for him. His body fit perfectly into the empty space and he felt whole, he felt completed, as if his self clicked into theirs, adding the last piece of a puzzle that was several years in the making.

He didn’t want to go. His arm settled around Hyuna and he looked over her pillow, where her hair was spread out like a fiery crown, his eyes finding Hyojong’s peaceful face, deep in sleep. They were so beautiful, both of them. He didn’t want to leave them.

Hwitaek shut his eyes for a moment, savoring his situation, the feeling of Hyuna under his arm and the smooth breathing his Hyojong, knowing that they were in his arms and they were here and they were safe and they were  _ his _ . But... they weren’t really his, were they?

There was a lump that had moved in in his throat and he wondered if it would ever go away, his hands slipping from the curve of Hyuna’s ass and he lifted his body up from the bed, blinking in the stream of sunlight that hit him. He squinted and rose to his feet, unwillingly dragging his feet to the door, pulling himself away from them. Turning his head, he cast one last glance at their sleeping forms and he fought back the tears that were threatening to spill onto his cheeks.

A moment passed of silence where he pretended as if he was leaving for work, leaving his sleeping lovers to wake later and wait for him to come home. As if he was going to work, to come home in the evening and return to them, but he wasn’t going to. He wouldn’t be coming back. Pretense over, he collected his bag from the door and walked down the hall, heading for the door.

The sunlight was even brighter outside and as he stood in the warmth of it, he sighed and started walking across the parking lot, feeling the heavy way his heart contracted and strained with each step.  _ Don’t turn back, just keep going _ ... he continually reminded himself, the lump in his throat tightened painfully.  _ They can survive without you, they’ll be alright... _

“Hwitaek!” Hyuna’s voice caught onto his feet and tugged him back, making him halt in his tracks. He squeezed his eyes shut before turning to look over his shoulder. Standing in the doorway of their motel room was Hyuna, with Hyojong’s t-shirt covering her to her butt, where he could barely make out the bottom of a pair of boxers which were more than likely not hers. “Where are you going, silly?” she laughed sleepily.

“Go back inside, noona,” he responded.

He watched the features of her face change, from a tired amusement to a dark realization and she began shaking her head. With a glance towards each direction, she started to make her way across the parking lot, however Hwitaek met her in the middle. She was shaking her head.

“No, Hwitaek-ah,” she sounded desperate and it hurt his heart. “Don’t do this, d-don’t be like this. Come on, let’s go back in,” her hands grabbed onto his sleeve and clung for dear life.

“It’s okay, you two will be okay,” he promised. “You don’t need me, it’s fine.”

There was nothing she could do to change his mind, he knew that they didn’t need him, he knew they’d be alright. However his words seemed to twist her expression and before he knew it a hand cracked across his cheek, leaving a sting behind, the sensation breaking out over his skin and burning. He blinked.

“Get inside,” she growled, her fingernails digging into his arm. She turned to go back in, pulling him along behind her. She had never raised a hand to either of them, she had never hit them, the suddenness of her actions made Hwitaek mute and compliant and he allowed himself to be maneuvered back into the motel room.

He was sure that Hyojong was still sleeping, by the way that Hyuna’s voice lowered to a quiet pitch. “Don’t you fucking remember?” she hissed. He was shaking his head before she finished her question and her expression softened for a moment. “You really don’t?”

“No.”

“You don’t remember what I said...god, it was almost a week ago now,” she ran a hand through her hair, getting distracted for a moment. “You really don’t remember? About how much it hurt us to know you were having sex with other people? How much it hurt both Hyojonggie and I?”

His thoughts drifted back to that night, the night when things had started to change, the night when tiny thoughts of doubt started to fill him, when he had started to wonder if they really needed him at all. He swallowed and nodded slowly, so that she knew he remembered, but he was still too hurt to speak. The pain of her striking him was far more than he had imagined, not his face, no that didn’t hurt much at all, but deeper in his heart, he was aching painfully.

She swayed where she stood, her movement made his eyes fall to the boxers she was wearing and he felt another blow to his heart as he realized that they were his own, a pair he was sure he’d lost at their previous motel. There was something about it that reminded him of warm summer days in the lake, Hyuna wearing Hyojong’s t-shirt on top of her swimsuit and Hwitaek’s extra shorts as they walked down the street to get some ice cream. The memory made his heart ache and his head spin.

“Noona,” he breathed, putting a hand on his hip, the other reaching out to brace himself against the wall. “That’s not fair.”

“What?” she hissed, stepping forwards, her arms folded across her chest.

“I know you had sex last night,” he blurted and huffed. “It-it’s not fair for you to do this to me. Telling me that you...and then going off and fucking and expecting me to be totally fine with it.”

“Telling you what?” she insisted. “ _ Say it. _ ”

He took a deep breath. What was he going to say anyways? What did they tell him? That they needed him? That they loved him? That they were jealous? They never put into words what exactly it was that they felt and he couldn’t assume these things, it hurt too much to do that.

“I don’t know,” he admitted

Their voices had risen to a certain volume and Hwitaek inwardly groaned at the sight of Hyojong standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but his boxers, his hair a mess and his eyes hooded. He was looking between the two of them and Hwitaek wondered how long he’d been standing there. The last time he’d seen Hyojong was when he’d been walking back from his shower, accidentally looking through the crack in the door at the wrong time, his eyes meeting Hyojong.

He had felt anger at first, but as he watched Hyojong throw his head back and moan, he felt something coil deep in the pit of his stomach. He wanted them to invite him, he wanted Hyojong to reach out for him, beckoning him closer. But the younger had wrapped his hand around Hyuna’s ass and clenched it possessively, making Hwitaek realize how unwelcome he was. He just didn’t fit with them anymore, they were perfectly suited to each other and there was little to no room between them.

As if pulled by some sort of magnet, Hwitaek backed against the wall and braced himself there, waiting for whatever storm was brewing between the three of them to simmer down or worsen. Either would be better than this, where no one was willing to speak their mind - or heart as it may be.

“What do we do now?” Hyuna’s question broke the silence.

Hyojong was the first to move, he crossed the hall and settled against Hwitaek, burying his face in the older’s neck. His hands moved to clutch at his collar and he pressed himself into him, his lean bare body felt sturdy against Hwitaek’s and as an arm came up to encase Hyojong’s ribs, a sense of being safe washed over the younger.

“Now we go back to sleep,” Hyojong murmured. 

Hwitaek had never let himself physically maneuvered like this until now, as he allowed Hyuna and Hyojong to pull him into the room, which reeked of sex and sweat and they pushed him down onto the bed. They curled up on either side of him and before he knew it, they were both asleep, heads tucked into his shoulders and fingers laced together over his chest. He sucked in a deep breath and held it for a moment, before pushing it out. It was a step...

 

/ /

 

**9:29**

Hwitaek awoke to the sound of a shower running and as he sat up, he ran his fingers through his hair, having napped for almost 3 hours, he felt slightly refreshed. There was a bleariness that was still hanging over his head and he turned to the side, finding himself staring down at Hyojong’s sleeping figure, still wearing nothing but a pair of shorts. He studied the other man’s body for a moment before slowly laying back down, their noses just inches apart.

There was an undeniable beauty to Hyojong’s features and it was part of what made him so intoxicating, his face was delicate and pretty and it made it easy to be attracted to him. Although Hwitaek had never had trouble being attracted to him in the first place.

He pressed his face forwards, brushing his nose against the other’s, slowly rousing him from his slumber. He watched his younger friend blink awake and their eyes met, Hwitaek’s breath getting caught in his throat. The heated gaze Hyojong was giving him made him choke on his tongue and he went to pull away, but a warm hand snaked around to cup the back of his head, pulling him closer.

A second passed before their lips brushed together, the warm morning breath coming from them both wasn’t pleasant but they were more focused on the way their mouths slid together perfectly. Hwitaek had never felt like he fit more than he did right now, the slide of Hyojong’s lips was comforting and inviting and he pushed even closer. There was a heat generating between them and Hwitaek felt Hyojong’s body shift further into his own, their knees knocking together.

He sucked in a breath through his nose and his hands went to wrap around Hyojong’s wrists, pulling him into him, their chests met and Hyojong rolled over to hover above Hwitaek. Their kiss deepened but it wasn’t rushed and it wasn’t lustful, it was full of gentle pressure and love, poking at the other’s heart and tugging at the strings that guided them.

They were starting to forget their own names by the time Hyuna came out and spotted them, she giggled a little and then went to sit on the end of the bed, a pout formed on her lips. "I’m not jealous that you kissed him first,” she suddenly announced, watching the boys pull apart. “I’m just a little upset that you kissed him without me.”

Hwitaek felt a giddy laugh burst from his lips, he had always dreamed of having both of them, but never had he considered it a possible reality. And having both of them staring at him as they were now, well who needed drugs - Hyojong aside? He felt euphoric just from being around them.

It was as if his stress and worries were minute details in the algorithm of his brain and everything behind his eyes was just _them_ , their faces, their scents, their bodies, their voices, everything about them. They were beyond intoxicating, they were...they were dangerous and it was flooding his senses with a need and an ache that he’d never experienced before. 

“Let’s go out,” Hyojong decided.

 

/ /

 

**2:45**

As it turned out, bowling was a terrific idea, Hyuna could better sit back and appreciate the boy’s bodies under the blacklight, Hyojong’s pants and Hwitaek’s shirt glowed under the light. She smirked to herself as her eyes raked over the curve of Hyojong’s hips as he chucked his dark green coloured ball down the lane, watching it roll down and wobble for a bit before crashing into the pins, knocking seven down.

He stepped away to retrieve his ball and his eyes met hers, he gave her a little wink as he picked up the ball again and returned to the start of his lane, to shoot it again. She smiled absentmindedly, before getting distracted by Hwitaek next to her, making tiny excited sounds in his throat as Hyojong’s score still didn’t beat his. His hair was slicked back on his head, showing his forehead and his shirt was just tight enough to display his broad chest.

When it was her turn, she smoothed out her skirt and approached the lane, satching up her ball from the rack on her way. She took three steps forwards, her arm swinging back with each step before releasing the ball on the last step. She watched it roll down the lane, the black and blue swirled pattern looked like a blur of color as it sped across the floorboards, before crashing into the pins and disrupting the order of them. Excitement built up in her as she watched pin after pin fall until the last one clattered into the gutter and she let out a squeal.

“I got a strike!” she cheered, turning to be suddenly enveloped by both of the boys, who lifted her off her feet in their arms, her face being surrounded by theirs as they both pressed kisses to her cheeks. She giggled, her hand flying up to swipe some hair from her face as the boys set her down, her face was flushed and she wondered when they started making her so breathless.

Little did she know, as she went to return to her seat, the boys were wondering the same thing about her. They exchanged a look as they both sucked in a deep breath.

As their game went on, Hyojong realized that they were really having their asses handed to them as Hyuna got strike after strike and when Hwitaek leaned back in his seat and groaned, sucking his lip between his teeth, Hyojong slowly sidled up next to him. “She’s maybe a little too good at this,” he whispered.

Hwitaek nodded. “No shit,” his hands went to cup the back of his head. “God, she’s slaughtering us. We need to retaliate.”

“Our defense is trash, we’ve got nothing,” Hyojong smirked.

They were both chuckling when Hyuna walked back over to them after knocking down eight of ten pins in one shot, she stared down at them with a sly smile appearing on her lips. “What’re you two whispering about?” she inquired.

The two men shrugged innocently and shook their heads, murmurs leaving their lips that sounded a bit like “nothing” and “I don’t remember” which Hyuna simply snickered at and went to shoot her second ball. She barely skimmed one of the pins but only managed to take down the one, the last one still standing proudly. Hyojong sighed in relief.

“Alright,” Hwitaek sighed, rubbing his palms on his trousers. “Are you two about done here? It’s a little loud and musty for my tastes.”

The other two nodded earnestly, the loud clatter of the other bowlers and the dank smell of sweaty palms and old shoes made their noses wrinkle in distaste. They gathered up their things, as there was no debate about who won, so they returned their shoes and Hwitaek claimed he needed to use the restroom before they got back on the road. They were about 7 hours from their final destination, Seoul. However, they were only driving a little bit at a time, stopping to explore and enjoy each venue.

When Hwitaek was ready, they all entered into the afternoon sun, the three squinting against it. Their car was waiting, just as dusty and shitty as they remembered and as they climbed in, Hyuna was struck with a sense of nostalgia, they were becoming so accustomed to this car, it was almost like home by now. The metal can of a vehicle had almost overheated in the sun and they rolled down the windows as soon as they got it started up, Hwitaek also turned up the cool air for good measure.

A rumbling start later and they were on the road again, zipping down the highway, passing other cars and perhaps driving a little too fast, which Hyuna scolded Hwitaek for and told him to save it until they were out of the city. They opened the sunroof and Hyojong stood up, sticking his top half out. Hyuna simply laughed.

The roads passed by in a blur and their surroundings slipped away, melting against the evening sun and before they knew it an hour had passed and they were driving down an empty highway in the middle of nowhere. It was better out here, sure it was hot and the sun was almost unbearably bright, but it felt safer.

Hyuna traded places with Hyojong and let the wind tear through her hair as she planted her bare feet on the floor of the car and threw her arms over her head, leaning against the corner of the sunroof for balance. It was nice like this, it was comfortable and she could yell out her frustrations and excitements and the only thing that would hear was the wind, which would catch her shouts and throw them across the fields on either side of them.

She stared at the sun for a few seconds, it was the only thing watching her out here. She could do anything she wanted and it would stay between her and the sun. A smile brighter than any she’d worn in days appeared and she fell back into the car and leaned against the backseat, smiling up at the boys in the front. They were both looking at her, Hyojong turned around in the passenger seat and Hwitaek through the rearview mirror.

“Having fun?” Hyojong asked, flicking a piece of hair out of Hwitaek’s eyes, feeling safer knowing that their designated driver wasn’t going to be poked in the eye by a dry lock of hair.

“More than I have in a long time,” Hyuna announced. She felt a tiny bit of guilt as she realized that she actually was having more fun out here in the middle of nowhere, she was enjoying herself in the wind and sun more than she had in that casino, or any of the bars, or the club, or even the bowling alley. She was free out here and she loved it.

The thought occurred that she never needed to spend all that money just to have a good time, all she needed was beautiful weather and her boys. And this time, yes, they were  _ her _ boys.

“Good to know, I guess Hwitaek-hyung and I will have to get creative to find some pleasure up here,” Hyojong smirked at her. His hand was already moving and he was suddenly clutching Hwitaek’s thigh, earning a smart laugh from the driver, who was decidedly unfazed by the younger’s grip.

Hyuna wiggled her eyebrows before scooting forwards and leaning to brace her chin on the back of Hwitaek’s seat. Hers and Hyojong’s eyes met and they both smirked, before Hyojong grew a little more brazen with his touches and his fingers met the inside of Hwitaek’s thigh. Hyuna breathed gently on the back of his ear.

The older man simply sighed and refocused his attention on the road.

They were going to have to try a little harder it seemed.

Hyojong’s hand moved to rub his knuckles along the shape of Hwitaek’s cock in his pants, making the driver suck a lip between his teeth, rolling it in and out. While their maknae busied his hyung with his hand movements, Hyuna scooted closer to scrape her top teeth along the shell of Hwitaek’s ear, listening to his breathing change.

Driving wasn’t necessarily a difficult task, but when you had a developing hard on and two incredibly attractive people trying to pull your attention away, it suddenly became a hell of a lot more difficult. Hwitaek normally would have prided himself on his solid attention span and how easy it was for him to multitask while driving, but the blood rushing to his ears made his head spin and he had to take slow and deep breaths to keep himself focused.

Hyuna’s velvet voice reached his ear drums as she purred his name and he found himself cursing every god he could think of, Hyojong’s knuckles dragged coarsely against his hardening bulge and Hwitaek had to roll his neck on his shoulders to keep his sanity. He didn’t want to seem too desperate, so he resisted lunging his cock at Hyojong’s hand.

A long nail scraped against his neck and he felt Hyuna’s hands move to cup the back of his head, one moving to trail along his shirt collar, dipping down to brush against his collarbone. God, it was heavenly and he bit back a groan at the contact. When Hyojong’s hand moved to fully cup him through his pants, his hips betrayed him in the form of a jolt against Hyojong’s palm, making the maknae smile.

He growled a curse under his breath and had to blink away the headiness that was swarming his head, he really couldn’t afford to crash right now. There was a ringing in his ears as he felt Hyuna’s warm breath ghost down the shape of his jaw, starting behind his ear. It was quickly replaced by her tongue, pressing flat against the back of his lobe, making him shudder as it trailed down to lap at the warm sweat on his neck. He gulped and felt her smile against his cheek.

Hyojong’s cupped hand was gaining confidence as his fingers spread out to push against the tip of Hwitaek’s cock, which despite the layers between the two appendages, still erupted a fire in Hwitaek’s stomach that was driving him insane. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could handle, but his two passengers were apparently determined to find out as their attacks grew relentless.

The tongue at his neck turned into rounded lips that sucked at his skin and the hand between his thighs began to apply rolling pressure against his bulge and he almost choked on his own tongue. He only had so much composure that could be used in a day and as Hyuna began sucking harder and biting at his skin - surely leaving marks, and Hyojong’s palming grew faster and harder, he quickly realized that his composure for the day was all but gone.

“ _ Stop _ ,” he whined out as he felt the car start to swerve. “I can’t- I-I need more,” he gasped.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Hyuna’s cheshire like grin was all too obvious against his jaw.

When he successfully pulled over without harming anyone, he felt them descend upon them like hungry wolves, Hyuna’s hands dipped into his shirt and her nails raked along his torso, her fingers stopping to circles his nipples before she continued leaving bright red marks up his chest. Hyojong’s hands were working on undoing his pants and before he knew it, he was lifting his hips for Hyojong to tug his trousers down his thighs.

His tented boxer briefs were all too telling of what he needed and Hyojong licked his lips as he pulled the band of Hwitaek’s underwear down, watching his friend’s aching arousal spring free from the fabric. By now, Hyuna’s hands had brought Hwitaek to a quivering mess on the brink of breaking and Hyojong realized that his role was going to be so  _ so _ easy to play.

Moving in his seat so he could lean down better, Hyojong found himself nose-to-cock with Hwitaek’s gorgeous throbbing erection and he wondered what the hell kind of backwards karma this was, as he couldn’t remember doing anything good enough to deserve this. He wasn’t about to question it though and he dropped his head down to lap at the tip of the cock in front of him.

The whine that started in Hwitaek’s throat gave Hyojong all the encouragement he needed to continue and he continued to tease before he wrapped his lips around the warm tip and slid his hot mouth down onto the length. As Hwitaek moaned and tried not to thrust into Hyojong’s mouth, Hyuna decided it was her chance to find out exactly what Hwitaek was into.

One of her hands moved to slide a few fingers into his mouth, which he took more than gratefully and he swirled his tongue around them and sucked with a ferocity that left her stunned for a moment. Her other hand was scraping down his chin and in a spur of the moment, she splayed her hand against the expanse of Hwitaek’s throat, she applied the slightest pressure and he moaned loudly. Maybe he was moaning at whatever Hyojong was doing to him, or maybe he wasn’t, she decided to risk it one more time and she waited for Hyojong to hold still before she squeezed one more time.

“ _ Fuck _ !”

Hyojong almost choked as Hwitaek’s hips jutted upwards, his cock almost touching the back of Hyojong’s throat as the older man grunted around Hyuna’s fingers. She gasped slightly, delighted with her new discovery and she withdrew her fingers from his mouth to slide her wet digits along his chest, moving to scrape the skin around his nipple once more. She was more than pleased with his eager response.

_ God _ , he was easier than she ever could have hoped for.

The added pleasure of Hyuna rolling his nipple between her fingers and her palm pressing against his Adam’s apple, Hwitaek found himself in nigh-ecstasy as Hyojong’s hand joined his mouth and stroked what of Hwitaek’s length his mouth couldn’t cover. He wasn’t going to last long, it was too much, it was all too much.

Hyuna’s hand buried in his hair to pull his head back, giving her the access she needed to kiss him, not bothering being gentle as she scraped her teeth along his lips to pull them apart, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth. He whined softly into her mouth as Hyojong tightened his fingers around the base of his cock, his other fingers slipping down to massage his balls.

Before he was aware of it, his hips were thrusting uncontrollably as he came into Hyojong’s mouth, the added ministrations of their maknae sucking his cum down made it all way too much and a breathy cry escaped his lips. Hyuna’s mouth against his throat and her hand down the neck of his shirt made his orgasm that much sweeter and he pressed his forehead into her neck as he came.

When his breathing was finally starting to return to normal, Hyojong was wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, looking utterly pleased with himself. Hwitaek couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of his friend, his sweat soaked forehead and sticky chin made him look messy in the cutest way and he found a hard time believing that this kid had just given him the best blowjob in his life.

Hyuna clutched his jaw and moved his head to kiss her again before she settled into the backseat and held out her arms, beckoning the youngest of the trio. “Come’ere Hyojonggie, let me take care of you.”

As Hyojong climbed into the backseat, Hwitaek caught a glimpse of his friend’s bulge and he felt a little giddy at the idea that he made Hyojong that hard, it was a little hard to believe but listening to Hyojong’s little gasps as Hyuna stroked him, he blushed a bit.

He started the car back up, having finally regained his focus and tucking himself back into his pants, he pulled back onto the highway, ignoring some of the looks that the cars gave them, the image of a woman giving a man a handjob in the backseat was all too easy to see through the windows. Hwitaek smirked and rejoined the stream of cars making their way down the highway.

There was a moment of surrealness when he listened to Hyojong gasping his name as he came in Hyuna’s hand, her reassuring murmurs that he was doing good and that she’d take care of both of them next time was all it took for Hwitaek to find himself hardening once again.

Maybe this was going to be a longer drive than they’d intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again for reading and please be sure to leave a comment, I'd love to hear what you guys think so far (❁´◡`❁)


	6. Addicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot shorter than the others, I'm sorry >.< I just started a new job, so I haven't had a lot of time to write, but I will make time for all of you, don't worry  
> Also I'm sorry I'm posting it so late in the day (I normally try to post it at 12PM EST but I'm only just posting it at almost 3PM)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's really a 'turning of events' so yeah, good luck
> 
> tw: drug induced nightmare

**1:51**

Their motel wasn’t ideal but with the bed’s pushed together, they were perfect. Exhaustion threatened to take control of them and make them pass out before they got into the room, but Hyuna’s hands guiding them, the boys found themselves lying on their backs on the bed, staring up at their noona as she carefully tugged their shoes and jeans off. She pulled her own off and climbed in right in between them. Her back was curved into Hyojong’s torso and her hand was placed on Hwitaek’s cheek, her forehead against his.

It was like this that they fell asleep, but the drowsiness only carried their dreams for two or so hours before Hyojong found himself waking up again, the darkness of the room was a little overwhelming and he stared up into the pitch black. A headache was starting in the back of his mind and he shuddered a little as he shifted over so his back was to Hyuna, it wasn’t that he was rejecting her, just that he was getting a little restless.

He knew what he needed and a bead of sweat was building at his forehead as he got up, he just needed to be as quiet as possible, get his bag and get to the bathroom without waking the other two. He got up from his bed and paced over to their bags, he dug around in his jeans for a moment, frowning when he came up short.

Searching in his backpack now, he couldn’t feel the plastic tip of his bag. He sighed irritated and dug around some more. Where was it? When was the last time he shot up? He couldn’t even remember but his skin was starting to get itchy with the familiar craving. As he searched his bag once more, he felt his hands start to tremble with need and a flash of anger went through him. What if they were hiding it from him?

He turned and proceeded to dump Hyuna’s things on the floor as he searched for his bag, not even bothering to be quiet. His hands worked faster as he threw the clothes around to find it. Nowhere. He turned and assaulted Hwitaek’s bag, tossing his things around in his frenzy to find it. He needed it. How could they hide it from him? What were they thinking? They just didn’t understand how much he needed it, how much better he was with it.

When he started to search through their things once again, he heard a shift on the bed and didn’t stop to think before the bedside lamp clicked on. Hwitaek’s tired eyes were blinking at him and he froze, caught red handed. Their things were strewn across the floor and he was clutching Hyuna’s bag, his hand swiping over the bottom and in every corner.

“What the hell are you doing?” Hwitaek grumbled blearily as Hyuna started to stir next to him.

“I need it,” Hyojong suddenly gasped out, feeling like there was a bubble of pressure starting to build up inside of him, threatening to pop and release all the anger he was holding in. “Where the fuck is it?”

“Is what? What are you looking for?” he watched his hyung rub at his eyes with the palm of his hand. Normally the sleepy pout of his lips would be adorable and Hyojong would stop to appreciate it, but right now it made him more furious and he dropped Hyuna’s bag.

Moving closer to the bed, Hyojong placed his hands on the mattress, pressing his weight into it. When he spoke, his words were hissed with venom. “You’re hiding it from me.”

Now Hyuna was awake and she stared with wide eyes at Hyojong, she had a guilty expression and he turned on her. “Where the fuck is it, Hyuna?” he snarled, formalities be damned.

“Hyojong,” Hwitaek warned in a dangerously low tone.

The oldest of their trio was already slipping out of bed and as she walked around the room to approach Hyojong, Hwitaek too was climbing out and moving to meet them in the middle. He seemed to be approaching like he was some kind of guard, only going to protect whoever he needed to.

“Hyojonggie,” Hyuna sighed, as she came closer, her hands reaching out for him. “Come here,” she beckoned.

“Fuck off, just tell me where it is,” he stepped back.

A tension was building in the air, stretched so thin they could only hold their breaths and wait for it to snap. It seemed to be ringing in their ears and as Hyojong felt a tingle at the back of his neck, his brain screaming that Hwitaek was about to try something. He whirled to turn on him, but the sudden motion made his headache roar to life and a dull throb started in his temple.

He cursed aloud and held a hand to his head, feeling something deep within him thrum painfully when he saw that Hwitaek hadn’t moved at all. He was just staring at Hyojong with an unreadable expression. When he turned to look at Hyuna, he saw that she had a similar look to Hwitaek’s.

“Hyojong...when was the last time you used?” she asked.

The question hit him hard and he had to really really think to remember. Was it earlier that morning? He’d woken up to Hyuna and Hwitaek fighting and...had he taken time to shoot up before going out to join them? Or was it the night before? In Hyuna’s and his flurry of removing their clothes, had he stopped to inject himself before they’d fucked? His brain was beginning to quiver and he couldn’t come up with an answer.

“I-I don’t know,” he mumbled.

“Jesus,” Hwitaek whispered and ran a hand through his hair. “Have you been doing this behind my back this whole time? And you knew?” he gestured towards Hyuna.

She ignored him and moved closer to Hyojong. “Are you okay?” she asked. Her hand went to press against his forehead, but he pulled away, eager to avoid her touch.

The air in the room was quickly drawing more and more taught and they all could feel the swarm of emotions over each other. The heavy air seemed to stretch thinner before it snapped brutally.

“You fucking hid it from me, where is it?”

“We didn’t hide anything, Hyojong.”

“Then where the fuck is it?”

“When was the last time you used?”

“Where is my fucking bag?”

“Are you high right now? When was the last time you shot up, Hyojong?”

Hwitaek listened to them go back and forth until his head started to spin and he rubbed at his eyes. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. His eyes fell to Hyojong’s hand which was shaking, his own hand fell upon it and he squeezed it gently.

“Stop. Please, let’s stop. He needs help.”

When the maknae tried to shake him off, Hyuna approached and grabbed his arm. “We need to get you some food and you need to let us, okay?” she asked, using her free hand to direct his chin to look at her.

He wanted to argue so bad, he wanted to reject them and scream at them, after all, they took his things didn’t they? But he just didn’t have the energy or strength, he was so tired and he just couldn’t do it. His body seemed to give in and he almost fell into Hyuna’s arms, his body quivering violently.

The shivers that started to wrack his body and he found it more and more difficult to stand, with her help, he used Hyuna’s support to lower himself onto the bed. The headache throbbing in his head was starting to cloud his eyesight and there was a beat of silence before he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

 

//

 

**3:06**

“Well, I got some questioning looks but here, I managed to get some dried meat, roasted eggs and banana milk, that should give him enough protein to last through this,” as Hwitaek rambled, he turned to see Hyuna leaning over Hyojong’s sleeping body. She looked beat and he wondered when the last time she’d eaten was. “There’s extra, if you’re hungry.”

She shook her head and her face told him that that was the opposite. He walked closer and placed his hands on her shoulders, rubbing gently, trying to get rid of the tight knots beneath her skin. A light sigh slipped between her lips and she pushed back into his hands.

“Come on, come eat, I’ll sit with him,” he urged, reaching to tug slightly on her arm.

Hyuna rose from her seat and went to sit on the floor with the bag of food, she crossed her legs under her and bit into one of the triangle kimbap, while Hwitaek settled down next to Hyojong and stroked the hair off his forehead. His touch was so gentle, it reminded her of a time when they were kids, during the cool autumn when Hwitaek had come down with a fever and the stomach flu and instead of avoiding him, her and Hyojong had sat with him and kept his temperature down.

Her heart lurched a bit at the memory, the nostalgia of days long past made her chest hurt. She finished her kimbap and thanked Hwitaek for the food. He gave her a smirk and muttered something about “I have to keep you two fed” before he went back to coddling Hyojong’s sleeping form. It was a miracle that he’d slept for this long, but they knew it couldn’t last as he began to stir in his sleep.

“It’s okay, baby,” Hwitaek murmured, brushing hair out of his face and leaning down to press a kiss to the younger man’s forehead.

Hyuna grabbed the discarded wet rag that she’d left on the nightstand and brought it to place over Hyojong’s forehead, hoping to ward off some of the heat that his body was producing. Her knuckles brushed over his cheek as she settled on the other side of the bed and wiped the sweat from his forehead as Hwitaek retrieved a bottle of water.

Mumbles began to slip through Hyojong’s lips and Hwitaek turned to help Hyuna sit him up as he came to, his eyes were rimmed with red and he looked bleary. His skin was too pale and he was starting to sweat even more. “It’s okay,” Hyuna encouraged as they brought the water to his lips, helping him drink.

“Vomit-” Hyojong mumbled and Hwitaek quickly scooped him up in his arms, his arm around his friend’s back and the other clutching his waist as he walked him to the bathroom, helping him lean over the toilet.

As Hyojong emptied the contents of his already empty stomach, Hyuna took to preparing food for him, waiting for them to finish. Her stomach was twisted in worry, she’d never dealt with heroin withdrawal and felt unsure as to what she was supposed to do. Hwitaek carried Hyojong back to the bed after washing his mouth out and helped him lay back on the bed, stroking his arms as the younger settled down.

“You need to eat,” Hyuna encouraged, offering the food. Hyojong wrinkled his nose and pushed it away. “Hey, you need to eat this, okay? It’s just going to get worse if you don’t.”

They went over and over the procedures with him, trying to get him to eat until they’d eventually fed him the other kimbap and half a bottle of banana milk. He seemed to be in good sorts for awhile, so they gave him a bit of space and sat at the end of the bed while he let his stomach settle.

Hyuna get a water bottle on hand and Hwitaek a trash can in case Hyojong’s vomiting returned. Their eyes were focused on him while he swayed back and forth, seemingly satisfied with his mostly full stomach. He was strangely similar to a small child when he got like this, the effects of the drug remnants in his system was giving him sleepy eyes and he peered at them with his reddened eyes, his pupils dilated.

“You know, you need to eat too,” Hyuna’s hand reached for Hwitaek’s arm and she clutched his sleeve.

He smirked back at her and shrugged slightly. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” he encouraged, patting the back of her hand. He was in his care-state and she’d seen him get like this before, it was what happened when he became too focused on caring for someone else, to the point that it became hazardous to his own health.

A hand moved to her forehead and she massaged at her temples. It was so stressful trying to take care of both of them without them knowing it, but it was worth it to her, to make sure that her boys were safe. They were too stubborn to be trusted to watch after themselves anyways.

“Noona,” Hyojong breathed, starting to shiver again and they realized that his fever must be returning. They crawled back up to help him drink some water and lie back down, but by then his body had started shivering violently again, spasms taking control of his body.

Hyuna’s hand stroked over his forehead. “Are you okay, Hyojonggie?”

“Do I look fucking okay?” he sneered as his hands shook uncontrollably.

There was a look exchanged between his older friends, a look of understanding, they both knew that his body was going through some changes that and he was feeling and experiencing things that he couldn’t control. Hyuna worried that he was scared as she made his pillows as comfortable as she could and helped him relax into them. 

This was only the start of this.

 

//

 

_ Water, filling his lungs, swarming around his head and neck and creeping inside his mouth. He was falling, falling backwards and his limbs spilling into the bathtub along with the rest of him. He was losing himself, he was giving in. _

_ He didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t fight it. He didn’t have the strength anymore. _

Drip. Drip. 

_ He fell deeper into the water, all the way down, the dark of the liquid started to suck him in further until he felt himself be pulled out the other side, as if he was in a bubble. He gasped as he came into the air again. The sudden light was too much and he squinted against the brightness, he couldn’t see where he was but it was painted in yellow and orange. _

_ The walls were colored and seemed to twist and contort in front of him, his hands that were holding himself steady were starting to sink into the wall and he couldn’t control it, he tugged his hands back to himself and suddenly he was falling again, until he crashed onto the ground. His eyes struggled to open and he was...upside down. The world around him had been tilted over as if he was standing on a ceiling. _

_ A beat went by, a heart beat, so painfully loud that he had to cover his ears. The colors surrounding him thrummed and pulsed with each beat of his heart, an ache in his ribs screamed and threatened to break the bones holding his heart in.  _

_ It was as if his heart wasn’t even his own anymore and he couldn’t control it, it raged and roared wildly, begging to be let free. His fingers were growing sore and they slipped apart, falling open to release...blood. The heart that he had held in his hand melted away into blood that soaked under his fingernails and stained the lines of his palm. It dripped and fell upwards. _

_ He was above a bed that was not his own, staring at it from above as if he was a god in the sky, surveying the world below.. He looked at the bed, his eyes following along to the head of the bed, where two figures lay, staring at each other. They did not see him. The man in the bed was kissing the woman, her fiery red hair was in loose tendrils around her head, like the blood that flowed from the breaks in his skin. _

_ He wanted to reach out to them, but as his hand stretched out in front of him, it started to quiver and his skin started to bubble in goosebumps. He wanted to shake them away, but as he moved his hand, he watched the skin between his fingers stretch, starting to web. What was happening to him... _

_ With each movement of his body, something under his skin lurched and he felt his heartbeat quicken. The goosebumps that covered his skin grew bigger until they started to split and from beneath his skin appeared...a feather. Feathers covering his skin started to sprout from beneath and he let out a cry of fear as he felt his fingers start to curl and form into claws. _

_ A hideous shudder went through him and he opened his mouth to call for help from the figures below, but when he opened his mouth, all that came out was an inhuman screech. What was he? He wanted to call to his friends, he wanted them to comfort him and tell him that all would be well, as they always did, but they could not hear him. _

_ Instead of arms, he now had wings bigger than his entire body and as he stretched them out at his sides, he wondered what it would feel like to fly. There was no one to help him now, he could only help himself. He went to take flight, but as soon as he let go, he started to fall once again. _

_ He was tumbling through the air, into darkness, nothing to hold onto and no one to help him. The black was all he could see and all he could feel and a ringing started in his mind. As he fell, the ringing started to transform, it was changing and starting to sound more and more like a voice. The voice was singing. _

There’s nothing that I won’t do for your kiss...

...cause nothing ever felt like this 

_ It must have been an angel but as he started to fall deeper and deeper into the darkness, the voice was snuffed out like a flame and Hyojong felt more alone than ever before. _

 

//

 

**4:57**

Evening settled into the sky as they moved onto the 17th hour of Hyojong’s withdrawal and Hyuna and Hwitaek’s consistent services of care, none of which he was grateful for. In his dazed pained state, he was sure to tell them this with malicious words telling them to leave him alone to die and a few claw marks down Hyuna’s arms and Hwitaek’s chest. The scars they would happily bear for loving him.

As he slept soundly for the first time in almost a dozen hours, Hyuna sighed and laid down on the opposite side of the bed, watching the rise and fall of their maknae’s chest, feeling her own clench in hurt. It killed her to watch him be like this, but she knew that she’d be nowhere without Hwitaek, who had been like a rock throughout this entire situation.

To keep herself from falling asleep, she sat up and observed from above, the sound of the bathroom door catching her attention. A freshly showered wet Hwitaek was emerging from the bathroom, his hair releasing drops of water to slide down his face as he walked over to grab his shirt from his bags. He always left his shirt with his bags and he’d never admit it, but he did it on purpose because he loved the attention.

“Hey,” she smiled softly at him and he walked over to stroke her hair.

“You look tired, let me take over,” he said softly.

Hyuna moved to stand on her knees, her arms lifting to wrap around Hwitaek’s neck, pulling him close enough for their chests to touch. No words were offered as a reply and instead she leaned up to kiss him gently on the mouth, their warm lips sliding together easily. It felt comfortable, right. They fit together comfortably and they felt warmth spread through their bones, a sense of being safe that they only felt in each other’s arms.

The youngest party of their trio was far from safe, they’d never felt secure being with him, that’s what made him so intoxicatingly fun. He was exciting and dangerous and no matter how hard they’d tried, they’d never been able to leave him. He was their own drug and they were both addicted.

When it came to leadership, they’d both unquestionably turned to Hwitaek, who had always assumed the role of a leader, even when he was in no position to be one. But the only reason the three of them worked as a team was because they trusted each other, without fail and without reason, they loved and trusted each other till death.

“Rest,” Hwitaek breathed against Hyuna’s lips as he kissed her again. She sidled into the bed next to Hyojong and Hwitaek tucked the blanket around her body as she curled up under the covers. She looked like their maknae on some days, with her fiery red hair that gave her a certain youth that she had no claim to. All at once it was cute and yet urged him to feel responsible for her.

As soon as she had drifted into a slumber, Hwitaek brushed the hair from her face and found a good spot on the floor to sit on while he waited for Hyojong to wake up. He’d fallen asleep nearly two hours ago and they’d never been so grateful for him to be sleeping. They’d fought with him for 12 hours to sleep and to stop fighting them on everything, when he eventually gave in, Hwitaek nearly collapsed in relief.

However it was only a matter of time before he woke up again, so Hwitaek mentally prepared himself for the sleepy eyed shit storm that was Hyojong after a nap. As the younger started to stir, Hwitaek scooted a little closer and reached out to grasp his hand, hoping to gently rouse him from his sleep.

One eye reluctantly opened and Hyojong was soon peering up at Hwitaek, his red rimmed eyes looked tired and he seemed to be having trouble focusing. Hwitaek helped him sit up and he gave him a water bottle to drink from. After they’d washed the sweat from his forehead, Hwitaek took him to the bathroom and then they settled back down on the bed. 

“How long has she been asleep?” Hyojong muttered looking over at Hyuna’s usually delicate body draped across the bed lazily, she looked so childlike and cute.

“Not long, maybe half an hour?” Hwitaek checked the clock on the wall as he tugged the covers back up over Hyojong’s legs.

“Did I keep her up?”

The worry and guilt in Hyojong’s voice softened Hwitaek’s expression and he placed a hand on his cheek. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Let’s watch some TV, yeah?” he grabbed the remote from the other side of the room and went to join his two friends on the bed. He sat in between them, careful not to wake Hyuna.

Clicking the power button, the slightly old TV struggled to life and Hyojong slowly snuggled into Hwitaek’s shoulder as he turned down the volume and began to flip through channels. There were some strange programs and a few old movies, which they both chuckled at. Hwitaek found a rerun of a cartoon that they’d watched as kids and he shared a bit of a chuckle with Hyojong before moving on.

He was glancing over stations until one made him pause. It was a news report and on the screen was a photo of the inside of Hyuna’s barber shop. Standing in the store was Hyuna herself, she looked disheveled and panicked and she was clutching onto the arm of a lifeless body. Even in the black and white photograph, the puddle of blood was unmistakable.

Hyojong shot upright and snatched the remote from Hwitaek, tapping the volume button until they could hear the reporter. The man was addressing the “severity” of the case and how the police were taking it on with “everything they’ve got, to put this woman in jail”.

They didn’t need to listen hard to hear both of them swallow nervously, fear starting to claw it’s way up Hwitaek’s throat as he stared at the screen. He had gotten too comfortable, they’d gotten too relaxed. He’d just started to feel safe, as if he could protect them. Now that was all shot to hell.

“We’ve got to move,” Hyuna’s voice made them both jump and turn to look at her. She was sitting up, perched on her elbows, her eyes were tired but alert and fierce. If her face said anything, they’d have guessed she was getting ready for a fight. And maybe she was, she was Hyuna after all and she would never go down without giving it her all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!  
> Please leave a comment if you have time, I love hearing all of your thoughts (◍•ᴗ•◍)
> 
> This chapter is lowkey dedicated to Tommy, because she's a sweetie and sent me something really encouraging that pushed me to finish this chapter <3


	7. Unbreak the broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi hi, I'm so excited to be posting this and I'm so thankful for the support I've received. This chapter is a little crazy, but it's also a lot more serious than the others and we're exploring a little bit of the truths of these characters...I guess haha  
> Anyways, please enjoy <3
> 
> the title is from train wreck by james arthur, it's a great song, please listen to it.

**8:32**

They had been on the road for a few hours, after manically packing all of their things and rushing to the car, not looking at the motel staff. There was no way they would get out of there without someone seeing them and most likely calling the police. Their only chance of staying ahead would be to get out of there right now.

And so they did, they got on the road the second they could and were now speeding down a highway after sunset, the streets beginning to plunge into darkness as they sped away. The old beater car was making a horrible spluttering noise as they went and Hwitaek quietly wondered how much more this car could take. It’d probably die on them over the next few days.

The rumble of the engine was all they could hear as they drove through the night, a light fog was starting to settle over the roads and Hwitaek had to turn on his highbeams as he carefully directed the vehicle around a bend in the road. Hyuna was shifting uneasily in the backseat and the silence in the car was heavy.

“Are you doing okay, Jonggie?” Hwitaek asked, looking over at their friend, who was reclined all the way back in the passenger seat.

He was looking paler by the minute and a sheet of sweat was building over his skin again, he looked beat and Hwitaek wondered when the next stop was so they could pull over and let him take a breather.

“I’ll be fine,” the younger mumbled and rolled down the window, letting in the warm fresh air. He closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat once again. He had been quiet the entire drive, all of them had. No one was willing to speak their mind.

“What’re you thinking about?” Hwitaek spoke up once again, he really couldn’t stand the quiet, but this time his question was directed towards Hyuna, peering at her in the rearview mirror. Maybe she’d have a response.

She shook her head and sniffled a little, she’d been crying it seemed. Concern was written over Hwitaek’s face as he turned around to look at her for just a moment before directing his attention back to the road. “Noona, what’s wrong?”

“That’s a stupid question,” she snapped, obviously regretting it as soon as she’d said it. “You know what’s wrong. This is all my fault. I’ve put you two in danger all because I was scared of being alone.”

The boys both turned to look at her with dark expressions, Hyojong’s more hurt than anything. “Don’t be ridiculous, you know we’d follow you to the ends of the earth, no matter what you did,” Hwitaek replied, his voice full of frustration.

“Don’t snap at her,” Hyojong’s voice was soft and concerned.

Hwitaek realized his mistake and he grimaced a little. “Sorry, noona,” he apologized, but Hyuna shook him off.

“You don’t need to apologize, Hwitaek.”

The three of them rode in more silence, however Hyuna quickly felt like it was getting old. She rubbed a hand over her eyes before leaning forwards and flicking a finger at the front of the car. “Hyojongie,” she spoke, her throat was dry and raspy from crying earlier. “Turn on the radio.”

Their youngest stared at her for a moment, before his eyes moved to the dashboard, his hand moving to twist the knob on the radio, the volume rising. An old trot song was playing and he changed the station, going through a few before settling on an old American song, the sounds of the tune creaking through the speakers.

_ We like our fun and we never fight, you can’t dance and stay uptight _

_ It’s a supernatural delight, everybody was dancing in the moonlight _

Hwitaek’s head bobbed along for a moment, as Hyuna got up to open the sunroof. She stood up and stuck her head out of the roof, her hands going through her hair as she spread it off of her shoulders behind her. Her distressed expression was growing more relaxed as she enjoyed the cool air, washing over her.

Hyojong glanced over his shoulder to see her and he chuckled a little, he brushed his hair out of his face and reached back to gently run his fingers down the back of her thigh. He had meant it harmlessly, but did not receive the desired result as Hyuna seemed to have a knee jerk reaction, her leg jolted forwards and her knee cap collided with the side of Hyojong’s head.

A sputter came from Hwitaek as he laughed, looking over to see Hyojong’s dazed expression, his eyes wide as he looked up at her. “She must be ticklish today,” Hwitaek chuckled.

The two looked up at the older woman, but the intensity behind her eyes made them freeze up and Hyojong swallowed a little nervously. She stared down at them before running her hands down the back of her thighs and she sat down. Her face was solemn once more and she let out a shaky breath, her head turning to look out the window. 

Yet again, a quiet air settled through the car and they all seemed to suddenly be uncomfortable. Hwitaek’s face turned to look at Hyuna through the mirror and pondered as to what kind of things had gone through her head to make her respond to Hyojong in such a way. Memories of being in the bathroom of the club, when she’d shoved him away as he tried to kiss her, a familiar guilty sick feeling bubbling up in his stomach.

The two men in the front seats exchanged looks and they both read as guilty, feeling a gross lurch in their stomachs. How much better as people were they than the scum who got killed for touching women? Did she resent them for what they’d done to her? Was she angry at them for not helping her more? What was going through that head of hers. 

Both of them were filled with various questions and their simple glances weren’t cutting it for answers, they needed to voice their thoughts. Neither wanting to take initiative. It wasn’t until Hyuna reached forwards to ruffle Hyojong’s hair that they looked at her, her face was soft and she gave them a little smirk

“Is your head okay?” she asked, using her thumb to brush the locks off of his forehead. “I didn’t leave a bruise, did I?”

He returned her smile, his a little apologetic. “I’m fine, noona.”

As the car rattled to a stop, they looked up to notice that they were at a small restaurant, as Hwitaek withdrew the keys from the engine, he looked back at them. “Let’s eat,” he encouraged.

They all climbed out of the car and started to cross the parking lot. It was a retro themed diner, the windows had Coca Cola symbols pasted across the glass, and there were orchid colored neon signs on the inside, shining through the windows, illuminating the diner from the inside out. They opened the wide doors and entered, finding it slightly warmer than outside, the diner was empty save one employee at the counter.

Relieved for the peace and quiet - and a noticeable lack of TV’s - they went to sit at a booth by the window, Hwitaek leaving the other two at the table to go order some food for them. As he walked away, Hyuna looked to Hyojong, he still had the expression of a kicked puppy. She sighed and brushed his hair off his face

“It’s okay, Hyojonggie,” she murmured. Her hand was cool against his face, his fever still hadn’t subsided, so she pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, checking his temperature. He looked better than he had in the past day, but he was slowly getting worse, she could tell, this was simply a calm before the storm.

Hyojong nodded slightly, leaning forwards to place his chin in his hand, his elbow propping up his head. He turned to look at her, her little smile growing a bit. She leaned forwards and met him halfway, pressing their lips together in a quick peck. The warmth of his lips started to draw her back in, but she was stopped. Two hands slid between them and they felt themselves being forced apart.

A whine escaped Hyojong as Hwitaek pushed in between them, staring straight ahead, a pout on his lips. He apparently didn’t want to be left out of the pda. Hyuna chuckled slightly as he settled in between them, his arms folding over his chest as he leaned onto the counter, his shoulders were a little cramped in between them and he let out a little huff.

“Don’t be jealous,” Hyuna giggled, nudging his shoulders, watching the domino effect as he bumped in Hyojong’s, offsetting the younger’s balance, much to his annoyance.

Hwitaek’s blank expression turned to meet hers and they stared at each other, their eyes empty, until a sparkle appeared in Hwitaek’s and he smirked. His smirk melded into a smile and soon he was chuckling quietly. It had been too long since she heard him laugh, it sounded good. All of her stress was wrapped inside of her like a rope tied into a coil, it started to unravel as she laughed in sync with Hwitaek.

It wasn’t long before the two were cackling without reason, leaving Hyojong staring at them blankly, entirely confused. He felt as if he’d missed some joke, because the older two just kept laughing, their voices rising and falling and reducing to giggles before they started openly laughing again. He caught the eye of the man at the counter, who was frowning at them.

After they managed to catch their breaths, the man brought over the burgers that Hwitaek ordered and pointed to a booth that was secluded away from the others, a more private one. The alcove that this booth was set into had the violet signs they’d seen from outside and one table. They sat down to eat, Hyojong huffing, embarrassed by his friend’s antics as he tucked himself away in the back corner of the booth.

Hyuna was halfway through her burger when she started chuckling around her mouthful of food, Hyojong’s face was suddenly alarmed, he didn’t want them to start up again. “This is a good song,” was all she muttered, her amusement ceasing at the chuckle.

A hand moved to brush against hers and she realized that Hwitaek was taking hold of both of their hands, his eyes were sparkling, the remnants of his laughter was painted into the creases of his face. He looked between them for a moment before speaking up. “We’re going to be okay.” It sounded like a promise.

 

/ /

 

**10:01**

As soon as they were done, they went to pay the bill, Hyuna and Hyojong hovering over Hwitaek’s shoulder as he withdrew some bills and placed them on the counter. There was a moment as the man counted the money and started to enter it into his cash register, his scowl was deepened now as he surveyed them. He muttered under his foul breath something about the damn kids these days and his three customers smirked to themselves.

Hyuna was breathing into Hwitaek’s shoulder, her chin settling on the bone of his shoulder joint and she sat like this while she waited for her friend to finish paying. Hwitaek pocketed the receipt and they thanked the man behind the counter, before turning to leave. Hyojong was trudging behind them, kicking at the carpet by the door with his toe.

“We need to get gas before we go anywhere else,” Hwitaek was saying, approaching their car, his hands on the roof. “There’s one right over there, let’s go fill up.”

The three slid back into the car, none of them very happy about it, they were sick of being in the car, the idea of having to watch the highways melt away into dark trees, only to transform into an overpass with a meager town below...well, it was getting old. They were tired of the constant driving and Hyojong was growing restless, Hwitaek was actually surprised that he’d been doing so well for the past while.

The filling station was small but it was open and that was all they needed, so Hwitaek climbed out of the car to start pumping gas into the tank, while Hyuna rummaged in the glove box for something to entertain herself. She got like this when she was bored, Hyojong knew it was only a matter of time before she joined him in the back seat to try to entice him into ‘some fun’ while Hwitaek was driving.

“Let’s see how long he’ll last watching us,” she’d always say, before trying to remove Hyojong’s clothes. But Hwitaek’s glares through the rearview mirror and his frustrated huffs were only amusing so many times and Hyojong wasn’t entertained anymore. So he crossed his arms and tried to act deflective, hoping that she’d get the hint and not try to seduce him this time.

“I’m bored,” she murmured and he chuckled bitterly.

“I noticed.”

“Let’s go in and find some snacks to keep for the road,” she proposed, looking over her shoulder at him. He slowly nodded and agreed, despite how much he didn’t want to, he knew it’d keep her busy while they were waiting for Hwitaek to finish filling their gas. So he climbed out and followed her to the convenience store that was attached to the station, they were walking so close their hips bumped together as they entered the shop.

The rows and rows of snacks and candies was almost dizzying, so Hyojong averted his eyes to the counter, where a sleepy looking woman sat, staring at a newspaper. He examined the display of cigarettes behind her, trying to ignore the itch in his fingers. He couldn’t stay in here long, so he tried to focus on something else, the TV above the woman’s head was crackling out the weather report from last week, so Hyojong tried to force his attention on that.

Weather was so much more interesting wasn’t it, with the rain and the wind, the precipitation and the temperature, there was so much more to think about when it came to a weather report than there was with a dusty old bookcase full of cigarettes. There was more fog than smoke with weather and after all, wasn’t smoke supposed to be bad for you? But it was better than nothing.

“Hyojong, how about these?” she held up some chips to his face, tearing his attention away from the...weather report.

“Sure, whatever you want,” he grunted, disinterest was clear in his body language as his hands slipped into his pockets and his head darted around the store, as if checking the perimeter. He sometimes reminded Hyuna of a dog, but a very bored and tired dog and she couldn’t help but smile affectionately at him.

As she gathered the snacks she wanted, Hyojong stuck behind her as they approached the counter, the woman behind it looking up lazily. She moved impossibly slow, like a sloth, as she started scanning each of the bags of chips and the package of dried meat, plus the cookies that Hyuna slid guiltily onto the counter, with a sheepish look casted towards Hyojong. He wasn’t paying attention anyways.

The more she looked at him, the paler he seemed to be getting and she wondered how long they had before his withdrawal took all of his strength again. He just seemed tired these past few hours and she pondered how she could make it more comfortable for him in the backseat, maybe they could use the clothes they’d bought and make a nice little pillow and blanket for him, to keep him warm. And they’d need to keep him hydrated, which made her wonder how much water they had left.

“ _ Noona _ ,” he rasped suddenly, drawing her attention to his face once again. He really was too pale, she noticed as her eyes followed his, moving up to above their heads where the TV was. A news report was on the TV, the same station that they’d seen back in their hotel room. 

Her own face was staring back at her on the screen. She swallowed thickly, sounds around her seemed to grow fuzzy and it sounded like she was underwater as she shakily gave money to the cashier, who thankfully hadn’t noticed yet. Her head was ringing with alarm bells, ones that told her to run, but she’d listened to those bells too often, so she held her ground as she paid for their snacks.

A hand was clinging to the fabric of her skirt and she didn’t need to look at Hyojong to tell that he was terrified, so she waited for the cashier to hand them the bag of their snacks, before she started to walk away. It was only a few steps from here to the door, they could make it and the lady wouldn’t notice and they’d be safe. Probably six steps, five now...

The cashier looked at them with squinted eyes, before she slowly followed Hyojong’s previous line of sight to stare at the TV over her head. Hyuna’s face was still on the screen, now with the headline ‘ _ manhunt: woman kills man, flees scene’ _ . The reporter was speaking, her voice was steady but serious and it was chilling.

“ _ Kim Hyuna, 26, killed a man in self defense in her own store, but then fled the scene, making her a primary focus for the Jeonju Wansan and Deokjin Police and now the Seoul Metropolitan Police have gotten involved to assist in this nation wide manhunt. _ ”

Shit.

Before the cashier’s hand could make it to the phone, Hyojong had thrown open the door to the convenience store and shoved Hyuna out of it, trying to rush her along as they ran to the car. Hwitaek was standing by the car, leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest. He looked up as they came out, the expressions on their faces made him jump to attention.

“Start the car!” Hyojong cried, yanking the door open and shoving Hyuna inside, her snacks spilling over the backseat and floor of the car. He scrambled in next to her as Hwitaek slid easily into the driver’s seat, the keys flying out of his pocket as he hurriedly pushed them into the ignition.

In an easy 7 seconds, they were peeling out of the parking lot and taking off down the road, Hwitaek barely glancing at the two in the backseat, as he took the nearest exit off the main town road. The sound of Hyuna’s breathing was all they could hear and Hwitaek worried she was going to hyperventilate, but he felt a little at ease as he saw Hyojong place a hand on her chest and pull her close.

“Breathe, noona, it’s okay,” he whispered against her forehead, taking slow deep breaths himself, encouraging her to do the same.

While Hyojong calmed her down, Hwitaek turned his attention to the road, still unsure what had happened, but he knew that it didn’t matter. It never mattered with them, as long as they needed him to, he’d do anything they wanted him to, no questions asked. The engine of their old car sputtered for a moment, and fear struck through all of them. If this car died right now, they’d be genuinely fucked.

Hwitaek’s lightened his foot on the pedal and tried to drive a little easier, just long enough for the sound to stop, much to all of their relief. There was a minute or so where the only sounds was Hyojong and Hyuna’s breathing and Hwitaek’s fingers drumming mindlessly on the steering wheel.

“What happened?” he eventually asked, not looking back at them.

“The TV...” Hyojong murmured, leaving it at that. Hwitaek would understand. He hesitated before adding. “There’s three police stations looking for us, including Seoul’s.”

“Not us,” Hyuna corrected. “Me.”

“That store attendant just saw us together, it’s an us now, noona. You can’t get rid of us that easily,” Hyojong sighed, brushing his fingers through her hair gently.

They continued to drive, until they were probably an hour or two away, Hyuna had drifted off to sleep and Hyojong was sitting staring out the window, his jaw clenched and his fists balled. Hwitaek studied him briefly from where he was sitting. He wasn’t well, that much was obvious, but his physical health wasn’t the only thing Hwitaek was concerned about.

Sometimes he wondered what went through their heads, what were they thinking about? He never asked, the old phrase ‘penny for your thoughts’ always felt ugly to him, because he knew that their thoughts were worth so much more than he had. So he always sat from a distance and tried to read their minds, wishing he could take them from them, take their burdensome thoughts and take all of the stress and concerns they had on himself. Just so they could rest for a bit.

Hyojong caught him staring and instead of the soft smile that Hwitaek had become familiar with, he remained expressionless, his uneasiness was apparent, but for some reason he was so stiff. He kept eye contact until Hwitaek had to look back at the road, but he continued staring at the older. It grew uncomfortable and Hwitaek bristled in his seat.

“What’s up?” Hwitaek voiced, using a more priceless way to get his question across.

The younger simply blinked at him for a moment before he leaned back in his seat, his head rolling to stare out the window, pressing his forehead to the glass. “It hurts,” was all he offered in response.

Of course. He was still going through withdrawal, he probably hadn’t even met the worst of this transformation, but Hwitaek almost regretted making him go through it. He loved Hyojong, he loved who he was, high or not. But the Hyojong that he’d grown to love, wasn’t who Hyojong really was, he was almost afraid of seeing the real Hyojong again, after all this time of only knowing whatever dazed out version he used to be.

He wasn’t necessarily afraid of change, unless it was in his friends. He didn’t want to see them change, he didn’t want them to be different and grow apart, the idea alone made him sick. He wanted them to stay with him until the end, because change meant that maybe...maybe they’d love him a little less in a few years. Change meant that there’d be more time between them, eventually pushing them apart.

He wanted them to keep going as they were, without hiding things from each other and without restraint, he wanted to love them openly and freely and not have to be afraid of what might happen if the rest of the world knew. The fears that were deep inside him were growing stronger by the day and he had to fight to keep them back.

Fear was the most powerful motivator he knew, and there was only one way to maintain control over it - the words of his father coming back to haunt his older self.  _ Fear is more powerful than anything in this world, save one thing. You.  _ For so long, he’d scorned his father’s words, finding them to be prideful and preposterous, but the words had stuck with him through the years and he was slowly trying to grasp the concept that he was stronger than his demons. But he was only strong when he had them, Hyojong and Hyuna.

“ _ Hwitaek! _ ” Hyuna’s voice pulled at his mind and he snapped out of his daze, his attention moving to look at them, the image in the mirror made his heart stop for a moment.

Hyojong had slipped further down into his seat and was shaking, the tiny whimpers coming from his mouth implying the pain he was in. Hyuna’s had one hand behind his head and the other holding his shoulder, she was trying to make him more comfortable and help him lay down. She looked panicked.

“I don’t know what to do,” she gasped helplessly.

The tires of the car screeched as Hwitaek slammed on the breaks, thankful that they were the only car on this road. He pulled over to the side of the road, stopping the car and tugging the keys from the ignition, before turning to climb into the backseat. He slid easily between the seats and crouched onto the floor of the car, his hands going to help Hyuna pull Hyojong into a more comfortable position.

“Get water and a rag,” he instructed, trying to sound confident. Neither of them knew what they were doing, they were entirely lost on how to help their precious friend, but with the right amount of fake-it-till-you-make-it willpower, they might be able to make it easier on him.

Hyuna fished a bottle of water out of the package under the backseat and handed it to Hwitaek, along with a spare t-shirt that she’d pulled from Hwitaek’s bag. Together they helped Hyojong sit up properly and braced him against the backseat, spreading his legs in front of him. His spasms were growing worse and they slicked his hair back off his head, dabbing the wet t-shirt at the sweat that was pooling at his hairline.

They fed him some of the water, knowing that nutrients and protein were going to help him the most right now, but they also knew that it’d be nearly impossible to get him to eat right now. Water would have to do. Hwitaek scooted up onto the seat next to him and pressed close to him, holding him and resting his head near him, so he could whisper comforting words to him.

The only acknowledgement they received from Hyojong was another whimpered “It hurts”.

 

/ /

 

**2:43**

Hyuna had successfully gotten Hyojong to eat a little before he slipped into a haze and was hopefully sleeping, his two friends sticking to his side, holding his hand and shushing him. There was no comfortable way for all three of them to sleep in the car, so Hwitaek started up the car again and pulled back onto the road, driving until they found another grimey motel that could barely afford running water, let alone a TV.

The room they rented was small and had one creaky twin bed and a bathroom with mold climbing the walls. It would have to do. Hwitaek tried to open the dust coated window, but it only made a miserable groan when he tried to move it, so the left it be and settled for resting Hyojong on the bed. The other two looked around the room and agreed that they’d take turns laying with him on the bed, while the other slept on the floor. It was far from ideal, but they refused to leave Hyojong alone during this, so they settled for their plan.

Hwitaek took the first shift on the floor and he fell asleep alarmingly fast, Hyuna watching over him until she was sure he was sound asleep. She could now safely return her attention to Hyojong. His face was soft as he slept, his eyebrows were furrowed in pain and she found herself pushing the creases away with her index finger.

How long had he been on heroin anyways? She stopped to count, finding herself curious as to when he started, she was sure it was some time after his eighteenth birthday, but maybe he’d started even earlier than that. It was a few months after he turned eighteen that her and Hwitaek had learned of his addiction. The reminder that they’d ignored it for five years made her sick to her stomach. What kind of friends did that? They had pretended like it wasn’t important, or even happening, just to avoid having to fight with Hyojong.

And in refusing to do anything, they’d let him slip into an obsession that was dangerous to his health and his relationship with them, until they’d come to where they are now. Hyojong being in a constant void of consciousness and unconsciousness while his muscles spasmed throughout his body, Hyuna was a killer on the run and Hwitaek was an arrogant slave to love. They were a trainwreck.

She laid down next to Hyojong, her heart heavy. She felt sorry to him, sorry that she’d let his happen, sorry that she hadn’t tried to help him all those years ago, sorry that she loved him so much. She wondered when she’d start to feel sick of being sorry to these two, she was constantly at war with her heart, furious that it felt so much all the time.

To Hwitaek she was most sorry, she was sorry that she’d babied Hyojong as kids, she was sorry that she’d ignored his feelings, she felt responsible for everything that had happened in his life. She knew that he was like this because of her, she was all too aware of what had gone wrong and how it was her fault.

The situation had been like this, Hwitaek was infatuated with Hyuna since he was 11, he loved her so strongly that he’d followed her through the mess that was middle school and he never once wavered in his dedication to her. But Hyuna had met Hyojong and he quickly became her best friend, the two were inseparable. Hyojong had grown interested in Hwitaek, she could see it and she grew jealous. She focused on Hyojong so much, sure that it would make him return his affection to her. He didn’t.

These feelings didn’t change until they were well into their teenage years and when Hwitaek turned 17, she realized what she’d done wrong.

Hwitaek was unloved, at least he felt unloved, and so he adapted, he had always been strong in that way. Now he loved himself the most, more than he loved Hyuna and more than Hyojong loved him. It was dangerous, but he didn’t see it. All throughout these years, he still insisted that he loved her most, but she could see it, she could see the dark shadow inside of him that resented her for ignoring him, that put himself first.

And the entire time, Hyojong had comfortably loved them both with his whole heart. He was always so sure of himself and he knew exactly what he wanted, he wanted both of them and he didn’t care about the risks that he’d need to take to get them. They had misread him since they were children and now Hyuna and Hwitaek were still silently at war with each other, while Hyojong remained unaffected by the turmoil of choosing one. He wanted both and now he had both.

The bitter side of her laughed and said  _ how happy he must be now, he’s gotten what he wanted since the beginning _ . She hated herself for thinking things like that about Hyojong, but she also knew that she was right. He was blissfully unaware of the pain that the other two felt, knowing that a few years from now, they’d have to pick one. Not because they’d grow bored of the other, or because they’d love them less, but simply because that was how the world worked. And she hated it.

Her entire life had been like that, from start to now. Everything was a mess and she - and those around her - had only been selfish from the start, they may not realize it, but every decision she’d made since she was young had been selfish. Her whole life was based around her greedy choices, it was almost sickening.

Hyojong stirred next to her and she looked over at him, his youthful features were still so soft and yet strained, as if he was holding his inner demons at bay. It hurt her heart more than she could say and she knew that the only thing she could do to help was stay with him. She would never leave him if that’s what it took.

As ridiculously complicated as their relationship was, the beauty of the threesome was that they would always follow each other to the ends of the earth and that was really all that was finite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had the ceremony album on repeat because ( ✧Д✧) it's SUCH a good album, I'm in love. pentagon remains on top with their pure bops and flawless tracklist.  
> I'm so proud of the boys for this comeback, it's so good.
> 
> Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment to tell me what you thought or just to yell at me, that's ok too  
> Thank you for always standing by me, I love all of you, whoever you may be
> 
> also I love kelc, he's my rock and tommy, she's my queen ♡


	8. Colors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am coming to you with the 8th chapter which is the second to last :o  
> Thank you all so much for sticking with me this far!! I'm so grateful to all of you (ㅅ´ ˘ `)  
> I know he doesn't read this, but this chapter is for kelc, because I just love him so much

**10:11**

Staying in one place was tricky, but it was better than going out where they might be seen. After moving around a bit more, they managed to settle in the same town for a total of three days, having found a real hotel this time. However the whole 3 floors up thing seemed to be bothering Hwitaek, so they kept the curtains tightly shut. Apparently he was afraid of heights.

Hyojong spent an entire day throwing up nothing and now was in the peak of his withdrawal, the worst of it was finally here and Hyuna couldn’t wait for it to be over. She’d been sitting on the bed for the past four hours listening to the sounds from the bathroom. Hwitaek filled the bathtub with a small amount of water and sat on the floor next to it with Hyojong, while the younger’s body went through spasms. The bath wasn’t what bothered her, it was the screams.

Listening to Hyojong screaming obscenities at Hwitaek and threatening him if he didn’t get him more drugs, it hurt her, not for her sake, but for both Hwitaek’s and Hyojong’s. Hwitaek was patient and managed to calm him down before he started back up again, but she knew that when Hyojong came to, the memories would burn him.

“ _ Just fucking die! _ ” was the last thing she’d heard Hyojong yell from within the bathroom, and it was followed by silence. That was almost two minutes ago and she was now chewing on her nails waiting for something to follow.

Hwitaek had offered to help Hyojong bathe so Hyuna could sleep, as she had spent the entire night awake looking after him, it was only fair. This was the system they’d worked out, but little did Hwitaek know that she couldn’t sleep, even if it wasn’t for Hyojong’s screaming, she still wouldn’t be able to sleep. 

Every time she closed her eyes, she could swear she heard police sirens and she’d sit back up in a panic, her instincts trying to get her to collect their bags and her boys and make a run for it. By the time she could calm herself, she’d have another painful memory flash behind her eyes, her hands covered in blood, standing above a body. It was just too much work to try to sleep right now.

This was ridiculous, they both loved him, they should both be taking care of him. She moved to the bathroom door and went to knock, but hesitated, Hwitaek would probably just tell her to go to bed. She pushed the door open just a crack, enough to peer in. She sighed.

Hyojong was slumped in the tub, his head resting against the edge, his naked legs curled against his bare chest. Hwitaek was fully dressed, squeezed into the tiny bathtub in front of him. His hands were cupping Hyojong’s head and he was gently rubbing the skin beneath his jaw with one thumb, his other thumb was pressed into the younger’s cheek.

The sound of the door went surprisingly unnoticed and neither saw her, as she sat down on the ground outside of the door, pressing her forehead against the frame and listening to the soft sounds from Hwitaek.

Hyojong’s eyes were glassy and he looked beyond tired, his hands were resting on either side of him, in the water, but she didn’t miss that one of his hands was on Hwitaek’s leg, holding as if afraid of losing him. The husky whispered singing from Hwitaek’s mouth were like spells that enchanted him, keeping him in this state where he saw and said nothing. It was almost as if he’d drugged him with his voice alone.

The older man’s voice was painting itself across the door in front of Hyuna’s face, her own mind starting to melt at the sound of him.

_ The colors of you that I see from time to time, it raises me up because, you’re the only one with your own color. I try holding out my hand, to catch you, but you get farther away. Hold out your hand, color me like that red sunset, so I won’t lose myself. I’m running out of breath, as I run to the deep ocean that swallowed up the stars. _

She shifted her feet and the voice stopped, she looked up and met eyes with Hwitaek, who was staring at her with reddened eyes. He smiled softly at her and nodded, as if allowing her to come in. She crept closer until she was next to the bathtub, where she rested her chin.

“Hwitaek-ah,” she whispered.

“Hm?” he looked down at her with his lips pressed together.

“You were crying,” she murmured gently, reaching up a hand to brush away the tear stains on his soft cheeks.

A sad smile and laugh left his lips, the amusement never reaching his eyes before it died. “Yes,” he nodded a little, not moving his hands from Hyojong’s face. The younger’s eyes had drifted shut and they wondered if he was sleeping now - or rather, they hoped he was.

“You know he didn’t mean those things,” she chided, pinching his cheek.

His eyebrows raised slightly and he looked down at her, before laughing a little more genuinely this time. “Noona, there’s nothing he could say that I haven’t heard or said to myself a million times before. That’s not why I was crying,” he jovially informed, making her frown. “I just hate to see him hurting.”

Her eyes followed his to the face of their boyfriend, he looked so small and helpless, slumped in the bathtub like this. It made her heart lurch and she brushed a hand over his shoulder, feeling his bony shoulder beneath her hand and for a moment, she realized just how thin he was.

Hwitaek begged her to go get some rest, so she rose to her feet and left the bathroom, closing the door carefully behind her. She’d let them have their moment and she’d try to sleep, the back of her hand rubbing against her eyes as she let her body fall onto the bed.

The last sounds she heard before she slept was Hwitaek’s voice as he started back into his song.

 

/ /

 

**3:28**

“How do you feel?” Hyuna asked, her hand reaching out to touch his forehead, only to be smacked away.

Hyojong was awake and sitting up, he even tried walking around on his own for a bit, his legs wobbled for a moment, but Hyuna’s hands on his hips helped to stabilize him as he walked. They sat him down on the bed while Hwitaek went out to buy some food. He always insisted on being the one to do it, despite not knowing what the others preferred.

“Like shit,” he snapped in return, making Hyuna sigh. Why did he insist on trying to push her away when she was literally his only hope? There was a distinct tinge of anger in her eyes as she scooted him to face her.

“I’m trying to help you Hyojong, let me,” she insisted.

He looked so tired, she wanted to hug him, but he’d probably push her away even more at this point. She bundled her hair up and out of her face, securing it with a hair tie while Hyojong picked at a loose thread in the sheets below him. There was nothing she could do if he wouldn’t let her, so she decided that she might take a shower.

As she bustled around the room, grabbing some clean clothes and her toothbrush and face wash, she kept an eye on Hyojong as he shuffled awkwardly, poking at the blankets. She put her things in the bathroom and was preparing to turn the water on when she heard his voice.

“Noona,” he was saying, his tone slightly nervous. “Can I join you?” he inquired, sounding unsure. How cute. 

She could only reply with, “Of course.”

When Hwitaek entered the hotel room, he set the food on the desk in the corner, looking around the empty room. Where did his boyfriend and girlfriend go? He was preparing to relax on the bed when a sound alerted him and his eyebrows raised. It was a soft moan and with interest, he carefully approached the bathroom door, pressing his ear to it.

There were obvious sounds coming from inside and he couldn’t keep back his smile. He was so glad that Hyojong was feeling well enough to do this and that Hyuna had managed to make him feel good, as he’d read that with withdrawal, it was much harder to feel pleasure. But if anyone could do it, Hyuna could.

He gently knocked, a breathy “Yes?” coming in response and he pushed the door open, tugging his tie off as he entered. “Well,” he purred, a sudden spur of confidence filling him and making him a little more suave than usual.

The image before him made him hard in an instant. Hyuna had Hyojong pressed against the shower wall, one hand between his legs, the other holding a fistful of his hair, her face buried in his neck where she was sucking on the skin there. There were soft noises of pleasure leaving Hyojong’s mouth and Hwitaek was both aroused and relieved.

“Hey baby,” Hwitaek greeted, making eye contact with Hyojong right before the younger’s eyes rolled back with pleasure. Hyuna must have been doing a good job.

He appreciated the view from where he was for a moment, clutching his tie in his hand, forgetting that he was holding it. Hyojong was starting to squirm slightly as Hyuna’s arm moved, giving her better access to finger him.

Hwitaek swallowed and dropped his tie, the fabric crumpling to the floor.

Red hair swished gracefully as Hyuna looked over her shoulder at him, a little smile appearing on her lips. “Hey there,” she chimed, before releasing Hyojong’s hair to crook her fingers at the older man. “Come in, leave the clothes.”

As she returned her attention to Hyojong, Hwitaek gradually removed his clothing, pulling his jacket off and discarding his shoes and shirt in the corner. He was unbuttoning his jeans, his hands surprisingly sturdy despite how much he wanted to rush. A loud whimper burst from Hyojong and Hwitaek’s patience slipped away. He tugged his pants open and practically jumped out of them.

His underwear followed his pants as he stepped into the shower, behind them. He came closer behind Hyuna, leaning forwards to kiss the back of her head, his hands moving over her shoulders to pin her and Hyojong both together, pressing his body into hers and deepening her grip on Hyojong.

The wet sounds of her fingers moving in and out of him was barely discernible over the sound of the shower and Hwitaek felt the pit of his stomach light on fire and he desperately pushed his hips into Hyuna’s. She craned her back to press her ass against his groin, giving him some friction to go off of.

He felt like a teenager suddenly, eagerly rutting against her, but the way she wriggled and twisted her hips was addictive and he had to brace her waist with one hand as he grinded himself against her. He moved his hand around to slip between her legs, teasing her thighs apart. “Here,” Hyojong was surprisingly aware of the situation and he handed the lube that was on the shower shelf to Hwitaek.

As soon as he had a finger inside of her, Hyuna moaned softly and started writhing her hips with more precision, making sure that Hwitaek’s cock was fully hardened before she spread her legs further. The angle would have been difficult to go off of, so she withdrew her fingers from Hyojong, much to his annoyance and she pulled him from the wall.

“Hwitaek finish prepping me,” she instructed, putting both of her hands on Hyojong’s shoulders and forcing him to his knees in front of Hwitaek. “Suck,” she demanded.

Hyojong was all too willing and as Hwitaek reached around him to slip his fingers back inside of Hyuna, Hyojong took his cock into his mouth. The maknae now pinned between them, they were face to face and shared a deep kiss as Hwitaek gasped, his hips jerking forwards for a moment.

When Hyuna was prepared, Hwitaek was nearly at the edge and he had to yank Hyojong off by the hair, which made the younger growl in pleasure. He apparently liked having his hair pulled, an interesting fact that both Hyuna and Hwitaek stored away for later.

They spun Hyojong around and Hyuna hitched herself up the wall to wrap her legs around the younger’s waist, letting him slip his cock inside of her. As soon as they were all sorted out, Hwitaek used his knees to pry Hyojong’s legs apart and he briefly massaged the ass before him, before he thrust deep inside of him.

As Hwitaek rotated his deeps and pulled in and out, Hyuna tried to wriggle her hips to help the double stimulation for their maknae, a groan falling from Hyojong’s lips. It was too much but not enough at the same time, as his body hadn’t felt any pleasure whatsoever in over a week. He desperately thrust his hips, the warmth building in him.

They each chased their own orgasm, Hyuna moaning deeply as she threw her head back against the wall. Hyojong whimpering quietly as the stimulation was bringing him closer and closer to his release, while Hwitaek’s groans filled their ears. He always was the noisiest.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Hwitaek grunted through his teeth, his thrusts almost sporadic as he pounded deeper and deeper into Hyojong. It was a little unsure who he was addressing, but it was most likely that he was speaking to both of them.

“I’m so close,” Hyojong whined.

Hyuna was surprisingly quiet, considering. Her lip was clenched between her teeth and she had one hand buried in Hyojong’s hair and the other was clutching Hwitaek’s shoulder, her eyes squeezed shut as she let out little moans from the back of her throat.

A few more thrusts and Hyojong was shaking as he spilled into Hyuna, his legs were trembling and she let herself down as he braced himself against the wall. He had pulled out and finish cumming on the shower wall, Hyuna’s hand still holding his head. His breathing was too fast and Hwitaek pulled out of him to kiss his shoulder and stroke his hip, encouraging him to calm himself.

When he seemed well enough, they wrapped him in towels and led him to the bed, helping him on it, kissing his knuckles and ears as they tucked him into the covers. His body was exhausted and he was slowly drifting off as they stroked his hair out of his face.

“Poor baby,” Hyuna’s voice was faint and Hwitaek only just heard it. He nodded in response.

Hyojong eventually shut his eyes and was asleep before Hwitaek could stand up straight. He brushed a hand over his cheek, before turning to look at Hyuna. She was giving him a pitiful expression, eyeing his still throbbing cock.

Hwitaek laughed lightly as he walked over and scooped her up, her legs going around his waist as he carried her back to the shower. Their noses were pressed together and they laughed against each other’s lips as he mumbled, “I’m so fucking hard." 

She laughed as he slid into her, filling the space that Hyojong had left and they were still laughing even as he fucked her against the wall, harder than she’d ever experienced. She’d cum with a cry, her whole body trembling as Hwitaek licked her collarbone and pulled out before he came, covering their legs with cum. They quickly rinsed off in the shower, before drying themselves and climbing in bed next to Hyojong’s sleeping form.

 

/ /

 

**10:45**

“ _ God _ , I’m sore,” Hyojong grumbled, his arms stretched above his head. His bare chest was peeking out over the top of the sheet and a bruise was forming on his tattoo from his tussle earlier with Hwitaek.

Hyuna had woken up to Hwitaek sucking on Hyojong’s chest while they rutted against each other like teenagers. She’d rolled her eyes and went to get dressed and find the food Hwitaek had bought that afternoon, leaving them to get each other off. When she came back Hwitaek was asleep again and Hyojong was laying on his back grumbling about how tired he was.

Now an hour later, after Hyojong had fallen asleep and was waking once again, Hyuna had the food laid out at the foot of the bed and was shaking Hwitaek awake, moving to straddle his hips. “Hwitaek-ah,” she nagged, tugging on his bare arm, as he slowly blinked awake.

The older boy yawned and went to stretch, but as soon as his arms lifted, Hyuna was poking at his ribs, tickling him. “Hey! I just woke up,” he whined, but she was persistent.

Hyojong scrambled to save the food from getting kicked off the bed and he set it on the desk, before joining the two on the bed, tackling Hyuna to the side. She guffawed and kicked at him, but Hwitaek pinned her legs down and started pressing kisses to her knees.

“Really? Three times in the past 7 hours?” she giggled, trying to pull her legs out from Hwitaek’s grip. “You’re both ridiculous.”

Eventually, the grumble of their stomachs pulled them apart and they all dressed and settled onto the bed, turning on the old TV on the dresser. It took a few moments for them to find something interesting and as a soap opera played, they ate happily. The sounds of the city going to sleep was coming in through the open window, as well as a cool breeze.

Hwitaek was sat in the middle and as Hyojong leaned against the headboard, he found himself settling in comfortably between them. Hyuna’s feet were rubbing against his every few minutes and Hyojong’s hand drifted down to twist his fingers in the holes of Hwitaek’s jeans.

As the commercial break started up, Hyuna relaxed into the pillows and set her empty dish to the side. She wasn’t full, but Hwitaek had bought what he could find at the small grocery store and that’s what she’d suffice with. It would be a bad idea to go into a restaurant at this point, so they ate what they could get quietly and without being seen.

A CF for a skin cream ended and Hwitaek rested his chin on Hyojong’s head, as the younger leaned into him. A news report about Hyuna appeared on screen and before the other two could react, Hwitaek had snatched up the remote and turned it off.

“Hey,” Hyuna swiped the remote from his hands and turned it back on. “It’d be smart to keep up with their progress,” she scolded him and turned the volume up a little.

The report didn’t provide any new information and they all took it as a comforting sign that the police didn’t have much progress in their investigation. Relieved, they finally turned the TV off again, staring at the dark blank screen.

A car horn came from the streets, the rumble of thunder in the distance, a moment of silence passed before a crack of lightning brought rain showering down on the city. The sudden downpour hammered against the open window of the hotel room, wetting the carpet inside.

Hyuna carefully climbed off the bed to go close the window, locking it tightly shut. The quiet in the room became more pronounced as soon as the rain sounds were muffled, and the sound of their own heartbeats could even be heard, pounding in their ears and drowning out the other noises.

Eventually Hwitaek stepping off the bed and reaching for the car keys made the other two look up, he tucked the keys into his jeans pocket and fixed his plaid overshirt. “Let’s go. We’ve been here too long,” he murmured thoughtfully.

They took their time packing up, Hyojong folding their clothes slowly, before tucking it into the respective bags. Hyuna grabbed their things from the bathroom and carelessly tossed them into a bag, while Hwitaek gathered the food and phone chargers, before agreeing to meet the other two in the car. As he walked out, Hyojong and Hyuna looked at each other, their lips pursed tightly.

Thinking back to the night before, it all seemed like a cruel dream, something that they had imagined, in hopes of being able to forgot the current situation. Real life seemed hazy and as Hyuna moved to help Hyojong lift all three bags, she squeezed his bicep. His eyes were a little glassy and he looked tired, but otherwise okay.

As they grabbed the hotel keys and left, Hyojong was rubbing at his eye, tiredly. Hyuna directed him to the elevator, which they rode all the way down, a yawn escaping her mouth as they watched the floor number tick down until they were on the first.

The lobby was a little larger than one would expect for the quality of the hotel, the cramped halls and old peeling walls would have suggested that the lobby was the size of a closet, but it was actually the size of two or three of their rooms. The two exited the elevator and were almost halfway across the lobby, when they spotted Hwitaek outside.

He was holding his phone to his ear and nodding, one hand rubbing at his forehead, his face turned towards the lobby doors. Hyojong froze and tilted his head when he saw him. Hyuna followed his gaze and they watched him, assumingly fully engaged in a conversation.

When he turned his head, his eyes met theirs and his widened. He started shaking his head and his hand waved at them frantically. Confused, they started to walk closer but he motioned more insistently and they stopped.

“What the hell?” Hyuna murmured.

Hyojong looked behind Hwitaek and immediately snatched up Hyuna’s hand, he pointed to further in the parking lot, past Hwitaek. Two police cars were parked and there was a few officers who were walking up and down the parking lot, shining their flashlights into the windows of the vehicles that were parked outside.

“Fuck,” Hyojong hissed, dragging Hyuna behind him as he went for the staircase.

The officers seemed to be finished and they were heading into the hotel, Hwitaek having successfully avoided them with his fake phone call, as he now paced away from the doors, keeping an eye on the inside. Hyojong pulled Hyuna to the stairwell and tugged her inside, closing the door tightly behind them.

“We can’t carry these all the way,” he set the bags down onto the ground, motioning for her to follow suit.

She shook her head. “But the money-”

“It doesn’t matter!” he snapped, tugging the bags out of her hands and throwing them onto the ground. “We have to get out of here. All three of us. Hwitaek can handle himself for now, we’ve just got to get out of this hotel.”

Hyuna didn’t seem to be listening, but she was nodding anyways, her eyes fixed on the bags on the ground.  _ Jesus, why does money have to be so important to her? _ He thought, but kept quiet, simply taking her hand in his.

They ran up two flights of stairs, now on the second floor and stopped for a breath, before scaling the last staircase. Hyuna was thankful that she’d worn her flat shoes instead of her heels, as they walked down the hall, turning the corner and halting. There was a maintenance cart and a cleaning lady, standing next to the cart, folding towels.

Hyojong pressed Hyuna against the wall and they froze, exchanging a look. Their room was 312 and they were only at 307. They needed to get down that hall.

“Drunk couple?” Hyuna raised her eyebrows and Hyojong nodded after a moment of consideration.

A loud laugh escaped Hyojong’s mouth and Hyuna slung her arm around his waist, burying her face in his neck. Together, they stumbled into the hall, pushing off of the wall as they made their way down the hall. Hyuna bumped into the cart and then giggled, as Hyojong apologized.

The staff made a polite nod, but her annoyance was apparent.

However they successfully made it to room 312, sliding the cards - which they’d thankfully not returned yet - into the lock and pushing their way into the room, before closing the door shut tightly behind them. The room had not yet been cleaned and was dark, as the two looked around for anything to help them.

Hyojong stopped and looked at her, his eyes moving to the curtains that were pulled shut tight over the window.

There was only one way to get out of this room and even if it hadn’t been raining, it was still fucking dangerous. Hyojong went the window and tugged it open, kicking his foot through the screen, popping it out. He stuck his head out and saw Hwitaek maybe 6 meters from the window.

A shrill whistle left Hyojong’s mouth and Hwitaek spotted him. The older man started to run, only stopping when he was within earshot. “Don’t!” he was insisting, shaking his head urgently. This was a bad idea.

Hyojong gave him a little thumbs up and looked over his shoulder at Hyuna. She had torn the bedsheets off of the bed and was starting to knot them together. Her hands were working surprisingly fast and Hyojong helped her, when they had knotted the two sheets and the blanket together, they stopped to look out the window. It had to be over 9 meters all the way down, there was no way they’d make it with this much sheet. They needed more.

“We need more,” Hyojong voiced, as an idea struck him. “Wait here.”

He carefully slipped out of the dark room, stumbling and giggling down the hall until he stopped at the maintenance cart. The cleaning lady was looking quite frustrated with him, but he held up a hand and pointed at the stack of clean sheets sitting on the cart.

“Can we have one of those? We, uh... made a mess,” he snorted.

The woman looked horrified and practically threw another sheet at him, bustling back into the room she was cleaning and turning her nose up at him.

Having succeeded, Hyojong was walking back to the room, looking over his shoulder at the woman. The elevators at the end of the hall opened and out stepped the two police officers. It took everything in him to not run, as Hyojong’s heart started hammering in his chest. He walked as calmly as he could to the room and used his keycard to get back in.

“We’re gonna have company real soon,” he breathed as he shut the door tightly behind him.

“Hurry,” Hyuna motioned for him to give her the sheet and he walked closer to tie the last sheet onto their makeshift rope.

It wasn’t quite enough but it would have to do.

They tied the last sheet to the bed as tightly as they could, the space between the bed and the window stole a lot of their length, but they should at least survive and that was the main goal here. Hyuna threw the one end out the window and watched it float down until it was all straightened out.

Hwitaek was staring at their sheet rope in horror and he started to cross his forearms, making an x. His head was shaking more fervently as he signalled to them.

“Go start the fucking car!” Hyuna whisper shouted down to him and pointed at the parking lot.

“Ladies first?” Hyojong asked behind her and she moved away from the window.

“I’m lighter, it makes more sense for me to go last,” she shook her head.

Dejectedly, but willingly, Hyojong approached the window and carefully stepped out, his hands clutching the sheet tightly. After spending the past several days mostly sleeping or just laying down, Hyojong suddenly realized that his body was a lot weaker than it used to be and he swallowed thickly.

His hands clutched the sheet as he slid out the window. He was now suspended in the air, 9 meters above ground and he was grateful that Hwitaek was already on the ground, knowing that the olders fear of heights would have made their escape much more difficult. The night air was cool on his skin and he took a deep breath as he lowered himself, a few centimeters at a time.

Within a few minutes, he was already halfway down and his anxiety was starting to grow, the idea of the rope snapping or the police entering the hotel room before he got to the bottom was making him rush. He didn’t want to fall and break a leg, knowing how inconvenient that’d be for the other two, but at the same time, he didn’t want Hyuna to get caught up there.

He was about 4 meters from the ground, but the sheets ended after half of that and he shut his eyes tight for a moment, looking up to see Hyuna’s head, poking out of the window. She gave him a thumbs up when she noticed him looking at her.

Carefully, he slid down farther before releasing the sheets and dropping the last few meters, landing securely on the ground. His stomach was in knots and his nerves were all over the place as he watched Hyuna imitate his own movements as she climbed out of the window and started to begin her descent down the sheet rope.

The sound of a car engine made Hyojong looked over his shoulder, as Hwitaek pulled up behind him, turning the car so they could jump straight into the backseat. The car door opened and Hwitaek joined him. Both men moved their gaze so it was fixed on the woman above them, worry filling them.

“I can’t watch,” Hwitaek murmured as he looked away, clutching at his chest.

Hyojong took slow even breaths. She could do this. She was stronger than both of them and she was the one with probably the most determination to survive. There was no way she couldn’t get through this.

She climbed slowly but surely down the sheets, her hands moving with a measured precision that Hyojong suddenly wished he’d had. She seemed so sure of herself as she made her way down, every meter she moved down was one step closer to the ground, which brought them one step closer to being able to get out of here and be safe.

The sounds of shouts made Hwitaek’s head snap back up, and they saw one of the police officers staring out the window at them, pointing and yelling. Hyuna was only just cresting the halfway mark, they couldn’t be stopped now.

The officer reached out and grabbed hold of the sheet, starting to tug on it, he was trying to pull her back  up. Hyuna could barely make out the other officer behind him, reaching to grab hold of the sheet rope. Together they would be able to lift her back up into the window. She swallowed, she couldn’t get caught now, she had to escape.

It was her only option. She released the sheets and fell through the air with the rain. The boys watched her fall all five meters and both let out a shout as she crashed onto the wet ground. Her body fell limp on impact and they rushed forwards, both falling to their knees next to her.

She coughed miserably, before letting out a tiny whimper, her hand going to clutch at her ankle. Hyojong felt a little guilty at the relief that flooded him, she was alive, that was more than he’d expected. But she was injured, and they needed to move quickly.

“Don’t move,” Hwitaek was insisting, moving to lift her in his arms. “It might be broken.”

He carried her to the car, where he gently deposited her into the backseat, her soft gasps of pain made them move faster. Hyojong ran to the other side and slipped into the passenger seat. As Hwitaek was starting the engine, they saw the police officers run out of the hotel.

“Go!” Hyojong cried.

Stomping on the pedal, Hwitaek directed the car out of the grass and through the parking lot, pulling out onto the road. The police car wasn’t far behind them and he cursed loudly. “Why can’t this damn car accelerate any faster?” he slapped the wheel as he tried to go faster.

They were already flying down the highway, narrowly avoiding other vehicles as they went. Hyuna was clutching the back of the driver’s seat, her eyes wide as she stared at the road. Neither would have pegged Hwitaek for the stunt driver type, but he was doing a better job than they’d expected.

The car was small enough to make it aerodynamic and they were already going a lot faster than it should have been able to go, however the car following behind was already gaining on them as it was a newer and better model of car.

Hwitaek sped up and they all flinched as he barely swerved to avoid hitting a truck, not getting away completely clean as the passenger mirror scraped along the side and eventually got torn off. Hyojong watched it tumble away and as they approached a tunnel that was just around the bend in the road. Hyojong stuck his head out the side of the car and started screaming obscenities at the police vehicle. His hands were making rude gestures and Hyuna let out a little laugh, despite the pain she was in.

The tunnel swept over them, plunging them into almost total darkness, their headlights the only thing making it possible for Hwitaek to drive. The car sped through the tunnel and Hwitaek glanced in his mirror, noticing that the police had not yet come around the curve, making it almost impossible for them to be able to see their car.

He quickly pushed the car even farther, speeding up and as soon as their car broke through the tunnel, he quickly slowed down and pulled off the first exit he could see, which thankfully led downhill. At the bottom of the hill, the road continued, but there was almost a flat plain of grass that led off into some thick brushed trees.

Hwitaek slowed as much as he could as soon as they reached the bottom of the hill and he turned the car straight into the trees, going as far as he could and shutting the car off. Now even if the police did follow them off the exit, they wouldn’t be able to see their car through the rain and trees.

Just to be safe, he quickly motioned for the others to lay down and keep quiet. He moved so that he could lean over the center console and take a look at Hyuna’s ankle, which was a little swollen and bruising was forming. Hyojong took off his jacket and passed it to her, letting her bite down on it as Hwitaek gently rotated her ankle.

“Good news is, it’s not broken,” he whispered.

“Bad news?” Hyojong raised his eyebrows.

“She can’t walk.”

Hyuna let out a shaky breath and rested her head on the seat as she reclined even farther. “God, I’m tired,” she muttered, her eyes drifting shut for a moment. “I wish I could sleep for months.”

Hyojong smirked a little and then ducked his head as he moved to grab hold of her hand. Despite having practically just woken up, they were all exhausted again after their rushed escape and they were all quickly growing more and more sleepy again.

“I’ll keep an eye out, you two sleep,” Hwitaek patted both of their heads.

They were grateful that they’d eaten before they left, as they knew it’d be awhile again before they ate, as they all settled into their seats. It was going to be a long night and they might as well watch the rain pour over the windows as they waited for the police to be far enough away for them to be able to take off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh thank you so much for reading! comments would be appreciated, I'd love to hear what you all think :)  
> the next chapter will be the final one, so please look forward to it!


	9. Showtime

**5:32**

They had taken off as soon as the rain stopped, the time was now well after 5am and they were each yawning, mostly Hwitaek as he directed the car in the opposite direction of where the police had taken off. They followed along the exit that they’d parked off of and they kept a close eye on the signs to get a good idea of where they were going.

Eventually they spotted a sign that read ‘inn’ and had an arrow that pointed down a path, Hwitaek carefully pulled down the small path, which was mostly grown over with grass and they drove on, looking around for the inn.

The little driveway led them to the parking lot for a building that looked abandoned, the sides of the building were covered in vines and the paint on the door was flaking, leaving it looking dead. He carefully parked the car and the boys climbed out, looking up at the rustic looking inn. There were no other cars in the parking lot and it seemed as if there hadn’t been for a very long time.

Hyojong was walking towards the inn as Hwitaek stuck his head back inside the car, looking down at Hyuna. She was looking restless as she sat, her ankle was propped up on the center console and was looking a little worse for wear.

“I’m gonna leave you two here and go back to that fast food restaurant,” he explained. “I’ll see if I can get some food and some ice for your ankle.”

She pursed her lips. “With what money?” she scoffed.

“I thankfully had some in my pocket when we left and there’s probably some here in the car still,” he sounded hopeful and so she nodded, not wanting to dampen his mood.

He helped her out of the car and over to the inn, where Hyojong had already pushed his way  inside and was exploring the building. He approached as Hwitaek was helping Hyuna limp into the inn. “It’s empty,” he informed, as he took her other arm and helped her sit down.

Hwitaek was already out the door and headed for the car by the time they had Hyuna situated and Hyojong watched him go with a sigh. He was tired of watching him leave, and he was tired of Hwitaek thinking that he had the solution for everything. Sticking together was the most important thing right now and it didn’t make sense for Hwitaek to take off on his own because he thought he was doing what was right.

Hyojong helped Hyuna get comfortable, giving her his jacket to lay on, as she laid across the bench that she was sitting on in the inn lobby. It was a dusty old place and there was little to no signs of life from within the past ten years. The cobwebs in the corner were enough to say that it had been awhile.

“How long do you think this has been here?” she asked, her voice echoing through the calm of the empty lobby.

He shrugged, toying with the sleeve of his jacket. “Hard to tell.”

The sun was creeping through the windows of the front lobby and if they looked carefully, they could see the dust floating through the light beams. The old peeling wallpaper was yellowed where the sun had bleached the once deep blue from the paper, the hinges on the door screeched as Hyojong poked at them, watching them sweep a path through the dust on the ground.

“Ew,” he muttered as he spotted a dead mouse in the room over. He shut the door tightly and turned to see Hyuna staring at him, her face was slightly amused. “What’s on your mind?” his eyebrows raised instinctively.

“I just...missed you,” she shrugged. “You haven’t been the same these past 5 years and now that you’re, well, clean. You’re you again. You’re different and a lot of things will have to change, but you’re back. And I missed you.”

He swallowed and looked down to the ground, before he slowly walked towards her. “About that. Years ago, when I...started using, I was,” he hesitated and sat down on the chair across from her, leaning to brace his elbows on his knees. “I want to say that I’m sorry. I was selfish and I made a choice that was difficult for you two.”

Hyuna chuckled and reached to grab his hand. “Don’t apologize for that. Drugs make you feel good, there’s nothing to be ashamed of for taking them. I’m just sorry that you hurt yourself in the process. And,” she chewed on her lip for a moment before replying. “I’m sorry that we weren’t able to make you feel what you needed.”

An embarrassed chuckle escaped him and he used a hand to swipe his hair out of his face. “Would you believe me if I said that sometimes I feel more addicted to you two than I do anything else?”

She rolled her eyes, but a light blush had risen on her cheeks. “You’re cheesy when you’re clean,” she laughed.

They shared flirty lines like this until Hwitaek came back, his face suggested he was surprised to see them laughing. He set the food down on a nearby table and moved through the dust to crouch next to Hyuna, his hand moving to brush her hair out of her face.

“I’m aware of how delayed this is, but don’t ever pull something like that again. You scared the shit out of us,” he exchanged a look of agreement with Hyojong, before turning and pressing his lips to Hyuna’s forehead. “Now let’s get some food in you, babe.”

As he went to bring her food, she watched him go and wondered how long it’d be like this, how long would be devotedly do things for her, how long would Hyojong and her have to wait while he went to buy food. How long would they hide behind him because he was the only one who hadn’t been caught on the cameras? How long would they depend on him to keep them fed and to travel across the country? How long could they take advantage of him before he snapped?

Hyojong was bristling beside her and she looked over to notice him blowing on his hands, her eyes falling to them, noticing the rope burns along his palms. She reached out to take his wrist but he pulled away, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’m fine.”

When Hwitaek returned with a cup of ice and a small bag of fried chicken, she leaned forwards to take the food gratefully, while he set to work putting the ice on her ankle. He was tugging his button up off and she watched him pour the ice into the shirt, before folding it to create a little ice pack. He pressed it onto her ankle, she flinched in response, but held still. The swelling had gone down a little since they were in the car, but it still wasn’t looking good.

“Hyojong’s hands are burned,” she informed the eldest man. Hwitaek raised his eyebrows and looked over to their maknae, who was hiding his hands in his shirt, frowning at Hyuna.

“Come hold the ice for noona,” Hwitaek was instructing. “That should help your burns.”

The youngest did as he was told, with a slight pout as Hwitaek got up and stretched. He patted both of their heads before turning to examine his surroundings. He seemed to be as unimpressed as Hyojong was as he poked at the dusty doorways and swiped a finger across the old concierge desk.

“I’ll check how clean the rooms are,” Hwitaek wandered over to the stairs, where he cautiously climbed them, peering up them as he went. There was dust clinging onto the walls and the spiral staircase rose up to the next floor, three windows inset to the outer wall.

Each stair creaked miserably beneath him and as he approached the top, he paused to make sure that the flooring was secure before he continued. The windows let through a weak stream of light, but old curtains covered each side of the windows, the flooring painted in sun stains from years of exposure to the light. He made each step with care until he got to the first room and peered in, it was mostly clean, despite the obvious signs of no life for years.

All of the rooms were in the same condition and as soon as he was confident that there was nothing off about the empty building, he made his way back down the stairs. He got to the bottom step when the sounds of a hushed conversation made him pause.

“You can drive better than me,” Hyuna was hissing under her breath. “Especially with my ankle like this.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea,” Hyojong countered. “And I don’t even know the way to Seoul!”

“There are street signs for a reason, dumbass. You just need to follow them.”

“I don’t know...”

A sound of her hand connecting with his head softly made Hwitaek flinch. “Would you rather drag him down with us? There’s only one way that we can protect him, you know that.”

“But he’s involved too,” Hyojong murmured.

“No one but us know that. He wasn’t caught on any of those security cameras and as far as anyone’s concerned, he’s innocent! Don’t you want to protect him?”

Hwitaek decided that was enough. He moved from the stairway and made his way over to the pair, Hyojong crouching by Hyuna, his head resting on her thigh, looking dejected. She looked up at Hwitaek with wide eyes and jolted in surprise when Hwitaek tugged Hyojong away from her.

“I don’t want you to protect me,” he snapped, pulling the youngest close to him. “And I won’t let you do this.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but his hand closed over her lips, his touch gentle. “Don’t. You can’t do this to me after everything we’ve been through.”

“I’m doing it for-”

“Stop!” Hwitaek cut her off, his voice cracking with his next sentence. “Don’t you remember? When I tried to leave you and you tried so hard to make me stay? We can’t do that to each other. We’re in this together.”

Hyojong had curled his head into Hwitaek’s chest, his hand holding onto Hyuna’s leg, the look on his face was solemn. He was hurting just as much as Hwitaek was by this and the way Hyuna was staring at them almost scared him.

“I started this...and I can end it,” she whispered.

The older man stood up, pulling the younger with him. “Noona seems to be delirious, must be the pain. Let’s get her upstairs so she can rest.”

They could see her jaw visibly clench and the frustration read across her entire face. “I just want to save you two,” she muttered, using her arms to pull herself up, both of the boys moving to help her only to be smacked away. She stood up straight and took a few steps, limping painfully before she hissed air between her teeth and had to transfer her weight off her ankle.

Hwitaek came up next to her and offered her his arm, which she reluctantly took. He assisted her all the way up the stairs, where Hyojong had gone up before them to straighten a room. He’d brushed the dust away and opened the window to get some fresh air into the musty old room. The carpet was crunchy beneath their feet and Hyuna cringed at the feeling, but she was quickly off her feet and reclined on the bed.

The boys turned to go, after Hyojong replaced the makeshift ice pack to its intended place and went to leave the room. Her heart lurched watching them go while she lay here helplessly and she couldn’t stop the words from blurting from her mouth. “I love you.”

Time seemed to stop and the universe shifted around the three of them, Hwitaek’s ears started to ring and he felt like he was in outer space, warm and cold all at once. His heart was twisting and loosening and repeating it, his head started to feel dizzy and he turned to look at her.

Hyojong’s eyebrows shot up and he felt an odd sensation settle over his body, it was like pins and needles and he shivered a little, before he too looked to meet eyes with Hyuna. None of them had dared say the words aloud before and this was the first time.

No matter how far they ran, no matter how long it took them to get where they were, they still never managed to find the courage or the time to say those three simple words. But Hyuna had taken the initiative and was the first to say it.

Hwitaek looked at her and then to Hyojong and he nodded. “Me too. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Hyojong agreed, his eyes trailing over both of them before darting to the ground. 

And it was from here that it began. They knew now that no matter what happened, they would do it together. Because they were in love.

 

/ /

 

_ There was a pounding on the door and Hyojong went to open it, as soon as the latch was undone, the door was shoved open from the outside, making the man step back to make room. Hyuna and Hwitaek came tumbling in, soft moans leaving both of them as they were attached at the mouth and hip. Their hands were tugging at each other’s clothes and Hyojong smirked as he watched them come falling in. _

_ Hwitaek nearly threw Hyuna against the wall as he lifted her and pressed her against it, Hyojong coming up behind the other man to press his fingers into his hips. “And you said I wasn’t allowed to join in on the fun?” he sneered, biting Hwitaek’s ear. _

_ The man gasped and his head tilted back, releasing Hyuna’s lips from the lock with his own. “I said you can’t come to the bar, the fun part is actually reserved just for you,” he breathed, letting Hyojong nibble on his lobe and then go down to suck on the free patch of skin on his neck. He nosed at his collar to allow for more space as he kissed and bit. _

_ A hand scratched along Hyojong’s scalp, Hyuna’s fingers carding into his hair and tugging a little, making him whimper. They moved from the wall to drop Hyuna on the bed as Hyojong attacked Hwitaek and set to work removing his clothing. _

_ By the time they decided they were too tired to go again, they had already fucked three times and Hwitaek was drifting to sleep. Hyojong flung himself down onto the bed after discarding the rags into the bin and he let out a sigh, staring up at the ceiling. _

_ Their bedroom was large and had a king size bed, to fit all three of them and there was enough lube and condoms in the bedside table to last them for years. They’d already used plenty and had to restock it, so they decided to get extra this time. _

_ America was such a different life from what they were used to and Hyojong was relieved that when he and Hwitaek went to buy condoms together, no one frowned at them or gave them disgusted looks. It was okay here. It was almost normal. _

_ They were comfortable here, and for the past four years, they had been safe here. _

_ It was a safe place, to be able to wake up with the sun shining down on you every morning, safe and free and able to love without restrictions. It was a place where they could be true to themselves and they could love one another without being frowned upon. _

_ And for many years to come it was going to stay like that, they had even discussed adopting kids some day. Hyojong warmed on the inside at the idea of Hyuna and Hwitaek as parents, the idea of being a parent himself made him warm on the inside, but warm in the fizzy sick kind of way. He wasn’t sure whether it was excitement or nervousness. _

_ However, he did love the idea of raising kids with them. Hyuna driving the kids to school every morning before she went to work, Hwitaek helping the kids with their homework and singing them to sleep, and Hyojong himself making dinner for them and helping them wash their hands. _

_ His heart soared at the idea of spending the rest of his life comfortably with the loves of his life. He enjoyed watching them fuck and he enjoyed watching them be playful at the breakfast table. But most of all, he loved when they both held his hands and stroked his hair to help him sleep. Despite how many years it’d been, his cravings still returned every few weeks and his hands would have a little tremor in them. _

_ They would steady his hands and kiss his palms, they would run their fingers through his hair and shush him, calming him down after the bad dreams that had triggered him. He loved most of all, when they made him feel safe. No matter where he was, he was safest with them, he knew that and he believed it with his whole heart. _

_ They were going to be okay... _

 

 

 

 

 

Hyojong woke with a shiver, his arms wrapping around himself as he looked at his surroundings. He was still in the inn, his hands shaking as he came to. His head hurt and he watched the dust settle at the end of the bed. His heart was aching and he was grateful that the other two were still fast asleep.

Oddly enough, there was a blush on his cheeks and he wondered what had spurred such a dream. He’d never thought about a life like that before and as he realized suddenly that he’d been crying in his sleep, he thought that right now he wanted nothing more than that life.

 

/ /

 

**11:54**

Sex could only do so much for the body, there came a time when the pain overcame the pleasure and drowned it out in a sea of anguish. Pain of the body and pain the mind or heart were entirely different things and each of them struggled with their own pains.

Hyuna’s ankle was still swollen and grew worse by the minute. Her body was tired and overworked and she wanted to sleep for another year. Hyojong’s brain was still addled from his withdrawal and he was still feeling the after effects, the exhaustion that was controlling him drove him to lay down again. And Hwitaek was sick of wondering who would leave who behind, the ache in his chest was a reminder that any day now one of them might turn their back.

The three pains were what drove them back to each other at any point during the day, they fell into bed together yet again that night, their bodies drawn to the pull of the other’s bodies. The burn of skin on skin, kneeling hip to hip at the foot of the bed, feeling the sweat that trickled down each other’s chest. Hyojong squirmed where he sat as he watched Hyuna’s tongue swirl around Hwitaek’s hole, bringing the man to a quivering mess, where he begged for release. Hyuna was breathless as she watched Hwitaek swallow around Hyojong’s cock and make the younger whine. Hwitaek felt impatient when Hyojong twisted his fingers just so, making Hyuna gasp and pant.

They were like magnets, attracted by an invisible force made of friction and being pulled together when faced towards the others, yet being pushed apart if turned the wrong way. And Hyojong started to wonder if he had been turned the wrong way at some point. As soon as the other two had fallen asleep, he stared at the ceiling, his heart beginning to twist in an odd manner.

He had been feeling strange ever since he’d had that dream. The dream of being safe with them, the dream of running away and never being caught and being together forever. It was the impossible kind of dream that made you feel like crying in desperation. He had wanted it so badly.

The details of his dream were starting to slip from his fingers and the desire for that universe had grown stronger, he was getting a firmer grasp on what he wanted and as he lay in bed, it became so much clearer. He just wanted them to be with him, forever and always, no matter what that had to look like.

If they were caught, then that reality became impossible, just like his quickly evaporating dream. Soon, it would just be dust that collected on the empty beds of this old inn. Soon, it would never even be a dream at all, it would just be a lingering thought that he’d had, that had disappeared as quickly as it’d come.

He dragged himself out of bed eventually, finding it impossible to sleep. He needed coffee. Or alcohol. Or both.

His feet were cold, so he slipped them into Hwitaek’s shoes, which were a little big, but far more comfortable than his slip ons that they’d bought back in Daegu. He tugged on the button up that they’d used as an ice pack, which had long ago melted and they’d had to dump the leftover liquid and left the shirt on the chair to dry.

There was a slight draft running through the inn as he made his way down the stairs, his legs were trembling a little by the time he reached the bottom step and he walked out to the parking lot. It was much colder out there and he shivered as he approached the car. There had to be a secret stash or something in there.

Opening the door, he climbed into the car and paused to rub at his arms. It was much cooler at night than it was during the day, the cold air making him feel cold down to his chest. He opened the glove box and poked around, there had to be something. There was nothing but the registration for the car and some old grocery lists, left by the owner of the car before Hwitaek stole it.

He tried his best not to get angry, as he closed the glove box and checked under the seats. Nothing to be found. He was getting more frustrated by the moment, but when he turned to get out, a ghostly looking figure was lurking outside the window, nearly giving him a heart attack. When had Hwitaek gotten so gaunt?

The older had his head tilted and was staring at Hyojong with a blank expression. He raised his fist and knocked on the window, making the younger frown and open the door slightly. “What?” he sighed.

“What are you doing? It’s past midnight,” Hwitaek’s voice sounded so small, yet gruff from sleep.

“I need something, hyung. Anything.”

“You know we don’t have drugs or anything.”

“No, even just some booze would be fine, or coffee, I don’t care, something for my nerves.”

Hyojong watched his friend and lover’s face drop and he nodded sympathetically. He waved a hand for Hyojong to move and the younger leaned to the side as Hwitaek peered into the car. He pressed his hand against the underside of the wheel and felt around for a moment, before finding the button he was looking for. The trunk of the car popped open with a wheeze.

They both went around to the back, looking at the seemingly empty trunk, before Hwitaek lifted up the tire hatch, revealing a spare tire. Sitting in the center of the spare tire, barely visible in the dark, only catching the smallest sliver of light, was a plastic covered box of cigarettes. Hwitaek withdrew it and tore the plastic off, then ripped the paper box and pulled the top back.

He held it out to Hyojong, the younger’s eyes more alive than they’d been in days. He accepted one gratefully, surprised when Hwitaek took one himself. Beneath the box was a small lighter, which Hwitaek struck his thumb across, both of them watching the flame spark to life and reflect in each other’s eyes. He lit both of their cigarettes before tossing the lighter back into the trunk.

“I bought these this morning, along with the food and ice. I figured there’d come a time when we’d need them,” he explained, bringing his hand to his mouth and pressing his lips around the end of the rolled paper. He sucked in a deep breath and then tilted his head back to release a stream of smoke from his mouth.

Hyojong was watching him with a new perspective. There was something about Hwitaek, the loose Hwitaek that wasn’t so damned worried all the time, the Hwitaek that hid cigarettes in a spare tire and smoked them after midnight in the parking lot of an abandoned inn, the Hwitaek that had stolen a car, the Hwitaek who had run into the neighbor’s garage to steal a bicycle when he was 14 just because Hyuna was bored.

This was the Hwitaek that Hyojong had first fallen in love with. This was the Hwitaek that left Hyojong breathless, just from watching him smoke a cigarette. The way his lips curved to exhale the smoke, it made Hyojong’s head spin and he almost forgot about his own cigarette. This was the gorgeous Hwitaek that Hyojong wanted to spend forever with.

“Hyung,” Hyojong gasped in the darkness, drawing the older’s attention. “I love you.”

Hwitaek’s mouth crooked and his stoic expression collapsed into the most innocent of giggles. “I love you too, kiddo,” his hand combed Hyojong’s hair out of his face and pulled him into a kiss in one swift movement. The kiss was short and sweet but it sealed their words, locking them into a secret, along with the hidden cigarettes. 

When they made their way back into bed, their cigarettes mere stubs and their clothes reeking of smoke, they were both too tired to think much. Hwitaek tugged off both of their shirts before tucking the younger into bed in between him and Hyuna, the sleeping woman instinctively turning to cradle their maknae’s head in her arms. Hwitaek fit perfectly on the other side of him, his arms long enough to rest on Hyuna’s hip as he fell back asleep.

 

/ /

 

**9:23**

The streets were near empty as the car sped down them, the landscapes before them blurring as Hwitaek’s foot pressed down on the gas harder, his knuckles were prominent as his fingers wrapped around the wheel tighter. Hyuna hadn’t taken the chance to ask what was wrong, but she wasn’t an idiot and knew that something was bothering him.

There was apart of her that wanted to ask, but for now, she decided that a distraction would be better for all of them. She reached out and turned on the radio, switching to a station with something good, a rap song from two or three years previously started to play and she turned the volume up.

Driving for what felt like hours made all of them numb to their surroundings and hour after hour seemed to meld together until time became an illusion and they were all bored out of their minds. Somewhere around hour three, Hyojong was sick of the quiet and he spoke up.

“You guys remember that time that Nam-il grabbed Hyuna-noona’s chest in 5th grade?” he snorted, hearing a chuckle follow from Hyuna shortly after. “You kicked him so hard, he had to wear an athletic cup for two weeks.”

Hwitaek smirked and nodded. “And you claimed you kicked him so she wouldn’t get detention? How could I forget?”

“Not my fault Hyojonggie’s so stoic,” Hyuna laughed shortly.

One school story after another was brought up until they were all laughing uncontrollably, Hwitaek having to slow down due to his giggles making it hard to focus on the road. The lighter mood made it easier to travel and by the time they could see the edge of the city, none of them were on edge still and were a little more inclined to relax now.

The skyscraper like buildings further into the city told them that they’d traveled a lot farther than they thought. Hwitaek was suddenly growing more wary as they drove and passed a sign that read ‘Seoul’. He was shifting uneasily as they passed over the line of the city and travelled down the alleyways.

It took quite a bit of going in circles around this section of the city, but they eventually found a place to park the car and went in search of food. The only place nearby that looked half decent was a small pub in the corner of an alley, they all agreed that they should risk it, so they went in and quickly found a booth where Hyuna and Hyojong could hide their faces.

Hwitaek ordered them all lunch and drinks and they waited quietly before the waiter brought it to them. Luckily he didn’t look at any of them and by the time they were able to comfortably eat, he was long gone back into the kitchen. They ate in peace until their stomachs were full and they drained the beer, grateful that the waiter was gone.

“I thought we didn’t have any money left,” Hyuna whispered across the table to Hwitaek.

He simply smirked in reply. He reached out a hand and motioned for her to stand up, as well as Hyojong. “We don’t.”

Together, the three bolted for the door and were back in the car before the pub staff noticed. Hwitaek sped out of the alley and was already three streets down before Hyojong started laughing again, still riding on the good mood from earlier.

“We’re so fucked,” he laughed.

The day passed in a blur of driving through the streets and stopping every now and then to look at street kiosks and vendors stalls in the center of the street. It made Hwitaek’s heart hurt to watch Hyuna get excited about street vendors, she looked so eager to explore and to see everything and Hwitaek knew that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy it for long. She’d never be truly free again and that hurt him more than anything.

They walked down the street, the three of them with their arms linked - mostly to help Hyuna walk - as Hyojong pointed out little unique buildings, or some memory filled graffiti on the sidewalk. They watched the trees sway in the wind and they enjoyed the feeling of the fresh air wafting over them. It was calming and relaxing. The boys ran along the bridge, looking down at the water below and laughing as they chased each other down the sidewalk.

Nighttime was approaching and the sun started to go down. Hyojong suddenly felt sad. Every day seemed to be going by so quickly, it would come and go and disappear in the blink of an eye. He sighed as he toed at the dirt at the base of a tree, watching the leaves flip and twirl through the air.

Hwitaek and Hyuna were still catching up with him, as he’d won the race and Hwitaek had gone back to help Hyuna follow them, his hands holding onto her arm as he walked whatever pace she had started. They looked so right together and it made the sadness inside of Hyojong a little lighter. When they reached him, he gave them his cutest grin and Hyuna pinched his cheek affectionately.

They walked back to the bridge and stood there as the sun melted into the skyline, the colors of the clouds above them twisting into orange and then pink and then purple. It looked like a canvas of paints and Hyuna wondered to herself if this would be the last sunset she’d see. She didn’t know why the thought had struck her so suddenly, but there was a part of her that was okay with it.

Somewhere farther across the city, fireworks started up and she felt excitement rise in her. “Let’s go,” she insisted and the boys helped her back to the car. The parking lot they’d left it in was now empty and they were the only ones there.

Hyojong slid onto the hood of the car and pulled her up with him. She carefully but surely stood up and spread her arms out, the fireworks in the sky spreading out in a circle of lights making her cheer delightedly.

Hwitaek was standing next to the car, leaning against it. He had left his button up on the car and was just wearing his worn t-shirt, they had bought it just a week or so before but it was intended to look old. It made him look comfortable and she wanted to hug him just then.

Another firework went off and the sky lit up, the sunset that was almost completely gone was illuminated by the lights and Hyojong’s smile widened with each crackle of the display. Hyuna felt happier now than she had in a long time. Sure, her ankle hurt like hell, but Hyojong was smiling and Hwitaek looked at ease and there was a beautiful view of lights in the sky.

She wanted nothing more than this.

The firework’s continued and she found herself cheering and whooping after each one, her arms thrown in the air and her head tilted back to yell as loudly as she could. There was no one there to hear them anyways.

After a few minutes passed and it seemed that the last firework had gone, she slid off the roof of the car into Hwitaek’s awaiting arms. He patted her butt softly as she climbed into the car. He signalled for Hyojong to get off the hood and follow her as he circled around to open the driver’s door.

As he was about to get back into the car, flashing lights caught his attention and he looked up to see a police car pulling into the parking lot. He froze, fear burning in his heart as the car came to a stop and an officer climbed out. A flashlight turned on, shining into Hwitaek’s eyes.

“We got a call about some kids partying out here. You guys know you’re not supposed to be here after hours, right?” the officer said.

Hwitaek wondered if he could play it off, so he simply nodded and called out an apology. He was about to wish the officer a goodnight when Hyojong slid off the hood of the car and was making an attempt at quietly getting into the car, stumbling a little.

The officer noticed him and turned his flashlight towards him. “Hey, are you drunk?” he asked, taking a step towards him. Hwitaek was starting to feel more and more nervous. The man squinted and looked closer. “Wait a second-” he reached for the radio at his hip.

In an instant, Hwitaek had closed the distance between them and clocked the officer between the eyes with his fist, his knuckles now burning. “Get in the fucking car!” he shouted at Hyojong, who apparently didn’t need to be told twice.

They both jumped in and Hwitaek was pulling out of the parking lot as the officer shouted into his radio, no doubt calling for more cars.

“ _ Shit shit shit shit _ ,” Hwitaek hissed under his breath, looking at his rearview mirror to see the officer following them.

Hyuna’s hand found its way to Hwitaek’s thigh and she gave a little squeeze as he increased speed, launching them around a corner as fast as he could without crashing. They tore down an alleyway and Hyojong was clutching at the seats in front of him as Hwitaek’s driving was increasingly lowering itself on the safe spectrum.

The screech of tires on asphalt was dizzying as they turned another sharp corner, Hwitaek was trying to shake them, but it was proving unsuccessful. There was now another police car that had joined in the chase and as they were burst from the alley, there was yet another car lying in wait, which took off after them as Hwitaek kept going straight.

Street sign after street sign blurred past as he drove blindly, trying to avoid a few stray pedestrians, the shouts and yells from people on the sidewalks could be heard over the rush of the wind. There was a certain euphoric high that could be gained from these situations and Hyojong was starting to become more familiar with them. In this particular instance, he felt like he could laugh in the face of heroin, it had nothing on this feeling.

Another street came into view as Hwitaek careened around the corner at 96 kilometers an hour, rocking the car on it’s old tires. A ‘dead end’ sign came into view as they were flying down the street and the car screeched to a halt. “Fucking beater,” Hwitaek growled under his breath as he used both hands to clutch the wheel and pull a u-turn, luckily he was far enough ahead of the police that he might be able to make it down a side alley before they blocked his way.

No such luck.

The police cars were already surrounding them as soon as he had fully turned around and he looked around frantically for any kind of exit. “There’s no way out,” he whispered incredulously. This was really the end.

“Parking garage,” Hyuna slapped his arm and waved to her right, indicating towards the parking garage entrance, which had one measly gate blocking the entrance. As old as this car was, they could make it.

Hwitaek pressed his foot back down onto the gas pedal and launched the car to the right, making a beeline for the parking garage and tearing through the gate. There was a loud snap of old wood as it gave way for them to make a speedy escape from the police.

Carefully navigating the parked cars, Hwitaek turned corner after corner, it started to feel like they were spinning wildly, but both Hyuna and Hyojong knew that their boyfriend was still in control. He  was already up to the second floor before they could hear the police sirens behind them.

The giddy feeling of maybe getting away started to fill two of the three of them, but Hyuna still had that odd feeling in her guy and she warily checked behind them to see how far the police were. Hyojong was enjoying the moment and banged his hand on the back of the driver’s seat, wobbling a little as Hwitaek whirled the vehicle around another corner.

They were rapidly climbing floors and as each number ticked past, Hyuna could feel an eerie calm spreading through her, it felt like closure. She turned to look back at Hyojong, her hand going out to grasp his. Their eyes met and she felt more at peace with the situation just from looking at him. It seemed forever ago, when we’d thrown himself in front of this car.

_ You wanted your best friend to hit you with a fucking car? _

The words seemed to be replaying in her mind like a film and she lost sight of her surroundings, being plunged into the memory.

_ Better you than anyone else, hyung. _

Hyojong had intended to die that night, she knew it in her bones. Despite Hyojong insisting that he wasn’t, she knew him better than he knew himself. He might have been responding to her call of distress, but there was always a greater purpose for Hyojong, there was always something inside of him that was stronger than his own free will, drawing him closer to what he really wanted.

And he wanted to die.

She wondered if she was starting to understand how he felt that night, apart of her wanting to throw herself out the door of this car, as it whirled around yet another corner, seemingly with no end in sight. She could finally relate with Hyojong on a level that always used to scare her. After all, isn’t this what they deserved?

Hwitaek was another situation altogether, he was selfish and loved nothing more than living, two weeks ago that was the first thing she could see in him. However now, she wasn’t so sure. With the way he was driving, he seemed like he was trying to risk a crash, but then the angle of the car would change and they’d be steady again and she wondered if he just liked playing with the idea of death.

The car screeched to a halt and she managed to lift her arms to protect her head as she bumped against the dashboard. She looked at Hwitaek and then back to Hyojong, before looking beyond the windows of the small car. They were on the roof, they were as far as they could go. They had run as far as they possibly could and now they were stuck.

Police cars surrounded them and stopped a few meters away, as if they didn’t want to risk getting any closer. Hwitaek looked angry as he shoved his door opened and climbed out. Hyojong followed suit, they slammed the doors shut and Hyuna jumped a little.

It was difficult with her ankle like it was, but she got out after them and stumbled a little out of the way so she could close her door. There were police officers everywhere, there was even a helicopter, which had a spotlight directly on them. She squinted under the light and turned to look at the boys, hoping that they had some lead of action.

Hwitaek had his hands on his hips and looked ready to fight, as he reclined against the hood of the car, he was already defensive and seemed to just be waiting for one of the officers to try to arrest him. Hyojong was chewing on his lip, leaning against the roof, but he looked over at Hyuna and moved past Hwitaek and around the hood to come help her. He clutched her elbow for support and then looked defiantly at anyone who was near her.

“Kim Hyuna, Kim Hyojong, Lee Hwitaek. You’re under arrest,” an officer was shouting, but seemed to lose faith in himself when Hwitaek simply laughed at him and Hyojong shot daggers at him.

Hyuna was almost amused by this situation, they were both trying so hard, they were so desperate to defend her, but she was tired. She didn’t want to fight anymore, she just wanted it to end. Looking up at the sky, she smiled into the darkness and wondered how long it’d be before the stars started to miss her. This was her last walk on this earth, she knew this. But would the earth really feel her absence, would the ground notice the void where she used to be, would the trees mourn her presence?

“Hwitaek,” she called out. “Come here.”

Stubborn to a fault, Hwitaek hesitated before joining her and Hyojong at the front of the car. “I won’t let them take you. They’re not going to get a fucking hand-”

“Stop. Honey, stop,” her hand moved to cup his face and she smiled softly at him. “It’s okay. They’re not going to take any of us. We’re together always, remember?”

The older man was nodding, he looked confused and she almost pitied him. Hyojong was almost just as confused as her, but she kissed Hwitaek sweetly, their tongues tangling in an ease that only they had. When she turned to kiss Hyojong as well, the sweet feeling was gone and it was all teeth and fire. She parted from them, pushing past them to stumble over to the ledge of the roof, her hands pressed against the stone as she looked over.

“Let’s go.”

If there was one thing she could always rely on the boys for, it was that they would always follow her to the ends of the earth. They were the only ones who really understood her in the entire world and as she watched them share one last passionate kiss, she felt comforted knowing that they had truly loved each other in this life.

Shaky, but sure, she was climbing up onto the ledge. In the blink of an eye, the boys were climbing up beside her. They ignored the shouts from behind them and they linked hands.

“Baby,” she addressed Hyojong, calling his attention. “What do you wanna be when you grow up?” the question would have seemed absurd to anyone, but they all knew what she really meant.

The youngest smirked back at her. “I think I’ll be a hero. I might save the country.”

“What about you, honey?”

Hwitaek licked his lips, before answering. His voice didn’t quiver once. “I want to be a sunflower, because it’s the brightest.”

“That’s a good one,” she breathed.

“What about you, noona?”

“I want to be me. I want to relive my life with you two. I wouldn’t change a minute of it.”

There was a second that passed, where the only sound was the wind, the only thing they could see was each other. There was no police, there was no barber shop, there was no damned old car. There was just them and the sky, the universe spinning around them and stretching out a hand to drag them into its tunnel of nothingness.

"Crazy past two weeks," Hwitaek's gaze met the others and he asked quietly. "Has this all been a dream?""

"If it has," Hyuna murmured, images flashing through her mind of the past two weeks. Hwitaek between her legs, Hyojong washing her hair, laughing in the car together. Memories of the boys holding hands as they raced across the bridge, or the three of them at the club, all huddled in the bathroom. Or even before all of this, her thoughts drifted to the days when her biggest concern was the hickeys on Hwitaek's chest, or the tremble of Hyojong's hand. "I don't wanna wake up."

“Don’t turn your eyes away,” Hyojong whispered to the wind.

The three clutched at each other’s hands and with one breath, they stepped off the ledge. They stepped into the embrace of the sky, they were swallowed up in the air and as the sounds of the city rushed past them, they smiled into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we come to the close of 365 Fresh and I can't thank everyone enough for the continued support and love, it's incredible and I couldn't have done it without all of you.  
> The two people who have helped me the most -maybe without realizing it- is Tommy and Kelc, so thank you my loves for being with me always and constantly reminding me that I'm not alone in this world.  
> I know I'm probably taking this way too seriously, but I'm slightly emo about ending this story and if anyone wants to come talk to me or theorize or anything, you can talk to me on twitter @leehwitake  
> I've over-analyzed this entire story so if there's something that you're curious about or if you have some theories on anything, please don't be afraid to ask! I put so much thought into this and there's so many subtle things that I didn't reveal here ;)  
> Thank you again and again for reading! Please leave a kudos and a comment telling me what you thought.  
> ♡(灬´ㅂ`灬)


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